My National Coming Out Day tale:

I was in my bedroom at age 16 having an orgy with a well-hung top and a leather man with moustache and cap who would not remove his clothes. Then my sister burst in and turned the lights on. When the poppers fumes cleared, I realized that I’d been getting down with my dad and that leather man was my mom was in drag. Scarred for life, I only date gerbils now.