LADY BUNNY DOES PORN?

JASON CREW, MOI AND JACKSON WILD--DON'T VOMIT YET--I"M IN A NON-SEXUAL ROLE!



So I'm in bed with a trick this afternoon and I get a call from my pal/porn mogul Michael Lucas. He asked me to come and shoot a cameo for his latest porn flick starring Jason Crew and sexy southern new-cummer Jackson Wild--not to be confused with Jack Wild, who played the Artful Dodger in the treasured film OLIVER. Jackson had actually emailed me that morning saying that he was working with Michael. How odd, I thought, that a young stud would be thinking of me while preparing for a porn scene. Always a slut first, I e-fluffed him by insisting that Michael create a scene in which I take one in each emd. The power of suggestion--it works! I still haven't conned Michael to fly me to Czechoslavakia to shoot me in a starring vehicle I've devised for myself called A HOG IN PRAGUE. But I thought I would give him a taste of what I could do in the interest of advancing future projects.

GETTING TO KNOW ONE'S FELLOW ACTORS IS ESSENTIAL FOR ANY ROLE.



One actor had to see a client that evening so the rush was on and I threw together a look with mismatched earrings and no nails and hopped a cab to the studio with Ebony Jett, who is in NYC to perform at Restaurant Florent's closing affair this Sunday. She was kind enough to snap a few pix. I played Aunt Judy--Michael had to get a jew in there somehow--who walks into her home to discover her nephew (Jason Crew) engaged in a steamy session with Jackson and truly vile orgy remnant such as coca cola filled condoms, a shit- and lube-covered Chinaman sculpture and a variety of greased bottles and douches which had decimated my parlor.

AS A CONSUMATE PROFESSIONAL, IN THE INTEREST OF TIME, I KEPT MY ON-SET TEMPER TANTRUMS TO A MINIMUM.



Though one "actor" had stormed off the set earlier when his co-star of a different scene asked him what was on his lip. Wholly in my element surrounded by well-hung young studs, I threw myself into the role with al the vim and vigor which an aging, overweight transvestite could muster.

SENSING MY SUPERIOR THEATRICAL INSTINCTS, MICHAEL GLADLY TOOK A "BACK SEAT" TO MY OWN DIRECTION.



The film was shot by porn legend Mr. Pam, who has skyrocketed to the top of her game as an in-demand camera woman. She loves her gay boys, so she relishes her job and is a delight to work with. I couldn't help but notice her "rattoo", a tattoo of a large rat which adorned her arm.



Tickled that I'd noticed, she offered a smaller rattoo near her fist, which she claimed liked to find it's way into dark places.



I honestly am not a porn fan--it puts me in the mood for the real thing!--but I truly count Michael as one of my favorite new friends in the city. He has a completely twisted sense of humor, and though competitors in the porn industry may view him as a driven hard-ass, he makes a charming companion if you aren't competing with him. And he impressed and delighted Ebony, who is an avid porn fan, with an armful of Lucas Entertainment's latest titles.

WorldofWonder.net's Stephen Saban described me in a recent post as "the irrepressible Lady Bunny." I got quite a chuckle out of that, since irrepressible could be interpreted as "It just won't go away!", which could also imply that "It won't go away despite a desire for it to do so"! I certainly can't imagine a caftan-wearing drag queen as anything but a boner-deflater in a gay porn flick. But if these guys are any indication, there's enough steamy sex scenes to allow a little comic relief. So porn fans, keep your eyes out for my cameo in BROTHERS REUNION from LUCASENTERTAINMENT.COM.