SHEE HEE!

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

ANNA NICHOLE SMITH FINALLY REACHES TARGET WEIGHT

HILARIOUS ARTICLE FROM THE ONION!



NASSAU, BAHAMAS—Former stripper turned Playboy Playmate turned reality-TV star Anna Nicole Smith has overcome her longtime struggle with obesity, at last reaching her target weight of 125 pounds, sources said Monday.

"Anna's been through a lot," said Florida Circuit Court Judge Larry Seidlin, who became visibly emotional as he spoke to reporters. "But I think it's fair to say that she hasn't been this happy in years."

READ WHOLE ARTICLE: THEONION

WORLD'S LARGEST CLIT FOUND

THE DROIDS: (DO YOU HAVE) THE FORCE?

Trippy, French STAR WARS-inspired synth-pop from '78!

DISCO DELIVERY

You've got to check out DISCO DELIVERY the next time you have a few hours to drool over rare audio and video clips from Tommy, a disco maestro who claims to be new a new fan of the genre but whose knowldege and taste would suggest that he's better-schooled than most who lived through the era--including moi! I'd never even heard The Supremes' fantastic YOU'RE MY DRIVING WHEEL. This disco-lovin' Canandian delivers the the video, which features a pregnant, caftan-wearing Mary in the middle and a goofy robot break! He writes beautifully and answers your questions on background info, updates on the artists' tracks and what else the producers worked on before you even have time to ask him! And talk about rare! He features Vanguard Records' artist Frisky (pictured below), finally letting me identify the artist behind the crazy groove of DANCING IN MY SLEEP. Current free mp3 downloads include Loleatta Holloway's CATCH ME ON THE REBOUND 12", her basketball-themed hit. Go get it!

BLAZING MAGNUMS

FROM YOUTUBE:

In this clip from 1976's Blazing Magnums, directed by Alberto De Martino, Stuart Whitman has to ward off a roomfull of drag queens (the movie calls them transvestites) and uses a curling iron in a particuarly nasty way.

"DIRT" FROM NYC'S BLACK PARTY

Forwarded from an unconfirmed source, but I love the tale, it's on my favorite subject and it gave me quite a giggle! I do know that Larry Tee dj'ed at a Black Party at Roseland several years back and sai that a partiton curtain for a more private area was used a giant cumrag with plenty of brown stains, so this doesn't seem too unusual. I've never attended one of these affairs.

FROM ANONYMOUS:

"Somebody shit or put shit on the dance floor. I thought some queen must of thought this mix was sooo good I could just shit in my pants and didn't realize he just did and was wearing chaps. Nevertheless, it happened. And to add insult to injury as the dance floor parted like the Red Sea somebody sprinkled some white powder, maybe baby, to cover the odor, some queen oblivious to what happened and thinking everyone like how he was dancing and giving him room did a few steps, slid on it and fell in it causing more of an odor.. or so I am told, and they're from 2 reliable sources. So I believe it and feel comfortable in relaying the story."

Now there's video testimonial GAWKER.CO, and I know the guy who slid in the shit! Are advance tix for next year on sale yet?

CHRIS JORDAN'S PHENOMENAL ART SERIES

SEE HOW THIS:



IS MADE FROM THIS:



Pain Killers, 2007
60x80" archival inkjet print

Depicts 213,000 Vicodin pills, equal to the number of emergency room visits yearly in the US related to misuse or abuse of prescription pain killers.

VIEW THE RUNNING WITH NUMBERS SERIES: CHRISJORDAN.COM

HOT MESS OF THE WEEK

FROM H.R.H. PRINCESS DIANDRA. Matching hair and lipstick! And a sack full of...hats? And with ATTITUDE, DAMMIT!

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

THE THAI SPICE "GIRLS"

MEET VENUS FLYTRAP, THE WORLD'S FIRST TRANNY BAND ON QUEERTY.COM!



And now they have their very own blog!

HARD GAY COOKING WITH KIDS

YOUTUBE

NEED ANOTHER REASON TO HATE PAT ROBERTSON?

Try this:

FROM YOUTUBE:

Pat Robertson is caught off the air of a Larry King call-in television show in 1992, referring to a caller as a "homo" and being coached by his staff how to 'spin' the discussion to his favor.

1973 BOWLENE COMMERCIAL

Speechless! Who knew shitty coul be so pretty?

THE GLAMOUR OF FLIGHT

Thrilling collection of vintage stewardess uniforms at DARK ROASTED BLEND. Not a fez on top of a flip! And those colors! What happened?

CNN IS SMOKING CRACK

By Erin Kotecki Vest

As the typical suburban housewife, I will admit I enjoy my fair share of tabloid news. Of course I would never be caught dead buying one of those rags in the grocery store...but, if I happen to come across one, I just might peek inside to see what Tom has Katie doing this week, or what weight loss magic Oprah is working.

That does not excuse today's news cycle on CNN.

It is my understanding there is a rather large international crisis looming in the UK and Iran-one with some very large implications. There is this war going on in Iraq, a historic moment in Northern Ireland, even some semi-news about our current (today anyway) attorney general.

I'm just curious why CNN keeps telling me about Anna Nicole Smith. Autopsy results are in, yeah...saw that. All those who really care raise their hands.

Don't give me that BS that this is the news America really wants. I'm not buying it. I am America...freaking white and Donna Reed as apple pie over here. CNN-do you HEAR ME??? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I turn to you FOR NEWS. N-E-W-S. Not entertainment news. Not gossip. NOT what some bimbo died of in the Bahamas.

READ THE REST: HUFFPO

SWOON OPENING

Sweetie and Johnny Dynell. Doesn't Sweetie favor Susan Hayward in this Aaron Cobbett shot?



The owners of HK, midtown's hot spot for great food and fine boys, are opening the doors to their new dangerously chic nightclub by the same name. The space is a design masterpiece mixing deco with sophisticated modern. Legendary DJ/ Promoter Johnny Dynell and Drag Superstar Sweetie have teamed up with HK with a Wednesday night soiree' called SWOON. Splashed against a backdrop of old Hollywood glamour, Johnny and Sweetie will deliver pumping dance music, glittering performances and a fabulous cast of downtown's movers and shakers and midtown's hoofers and broadway babies. Opening night will be a celebration of the 6th anniversary of Johnny Dynell and ChiChi Valenti's online community The MotherBoards with performances by some of New York's biggest and brightest, including international puppet master Basil Twist. If you're a leading lady, matinee' idol, ingenue or waiting to be discovered, settle into a casting couch, lap up some hooch and get ready for your close up!

SWOON @ HK
Every Wednesday
39th Street Between 9th and 10th Aves
Doors Open 10pm
Midnite Show
NO COVER

NEWS FLASH!

BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL

Lovely Lara Logan barely lets CNN's Howard Kurtz get a word in edgewise as she tells it like it T-I-S from a reporter stationed in Iraq's viewpoint. A friend of mine from Ohio just told me that in her area, CNN is called the "Communist News Network". So if CNN's the lefty news channel, I guess that means that they'll occasionally let a little truth slip out. This one's a must see! She is outraged!

FATHER BEGONE SPRAY

FROM MITZI:

US RANKS 111TH IN VOTER TURNOUT!

FROM MICHAELMOORE.COM:

Larson Is Told: Impeach Bush

By Matthew Kauffman / Hartford Courant

WEST HARTFORD -- U.S. Rep. John Larson, D-1st District, promoted his views on Iraq to a mostly friendly audience in West Hartford Saturday, but nearly lost the crowd briefly when he stopped short of endorsing the impeachment of President Bush.

In a two-hour town meeting at the Elmwood Community Center, Larson praised House colleagues who joined him in narrowly passing legislation Friday requiring an end to combat in Iraq no later than September 2008. But Bush has promised to veto the legislation, prompting John L. Cochran of Manchester to suggest an alternate tack.

"As long as Bush is going to veto everything you try to do, it kind of cuts your options," Cochran, 82, said in a slow, even voice. "Maybe you'll be able to get a few more Republicans to vote on your side, but that doesn't sound too promising as far as really having enough to overcome a veto.

"From my viewpoint, I think the only option left is impeachment."

The reaction from the crowd of about 100 was loud and instantaneous. Nearly 20 seconds of applause, punctuated by a cry of "Show some guts, John!"

Larson reacted with an uncomfortable smile and a challenge: "So you want Dick Cheney, huh?"

"Get 'em both!" came a yell from the back of the room. "A twofer!"

Cochran, who later said he was pleasantly surprised by the crowd's response, did not intend the proposal as an idle political bomb, telling Larson he truly believed Bush had committed impeachable offenses.

It is a notion that has gained a following since the November elections turned control of Congress to the Democrats. Salt Lake City Mayor Ross C. "Rocky" Anderson, dubbed "the new Cindy Sheehan" by his hometown paper, has supported impeachment and earlier this month submitted a 22-page treatise on the topic - complete with 40 footnotes - to Washington state legislators who were debating a pro-impeachment resolution.

In Vermont, voters in at least 35 towns passed symbolic resolutions this month supporting an investigation and possible impeachment of the president and vice president. And Dennis Kucinich, an Ohio congressman, and long-shot presidential candidate, inquires on his campaign's website: "Impeachment: I'm asking you. Do you think it's time?"

Nevertheless, Larson said it's unlikely to happen, in part because Bush's term would almost certainly be over before an investigation was completed and impeachment was put to a vote.

"Viscerally and emotionally, I understand where people are coming from," Larson said. "I understand people's frustration and desire for immediate change."

But, Larson said, quick change rarely happens in a legislative body ruled by due process and a system of checks and balances. He also said Congress might do better to focus on other pressing issues - from Medicare to student financial aid, rather than be forced to "drop everything" for a consuming impeachment battle.

Larson said a slew of oversight hearings launched by the new Democratic majority would at least hold the Bush administration accountable for missteps in the prosecution of the war, but he said that ultimately, the ballot box was the best way for Americans to register their opposition.

And if more dissatisfied Americans had come to polls in past congressional elections, said the former high school history teacher, those hearings might already have taken place. Larson said the United States ranks 111th globally in voter turnout.

"Now there is a Congress that is looking into [the war]. But it's the first time the public has voted for such," Larson said. "That's the point I'm trying to make. Without trying to go into Civics 101 - I understand the visceral frustration - but this is the reality. And when you're 111th in the world in terms of voting, it's time for Americans to wake up."

BUNNY NOTE:

Baby, go on and bust out that Civics 101 lesson. The US is also falling on the list of intelligent nations, and if I'm not mistaken, civics is being phased out in schools. Now I wonder why would anyone in power wanna keep us ignorant of our political options--like impeachmeantt?

ZARDOZ SAYS PENIS IS EVIL

ZARDOZ

BILL MAHER'S NEW RULES FOR BUSH AND CHENEY

A GREAT ONE!

OBSERVATIONS

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in sick to work: "Hello. Can't
work today, still queer."
~ Robin Tyler

I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell
your mother.
~ Charles Pierce

"Dear Abby," In response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving
in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to
improve the quality of the neighborhood. 'You could move.'
~ Abigail Van Buren.

The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next
time the government mandates a draft, we can all declare we are
homosexual instead of running off to Canada.
~ Lorne Bloch

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just
afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a
faggot?"
~ Jon Stewart

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying
for a man, and I'm giving them my share.
~ Rita Mae Brown

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they
are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as
soldiers; we should be used as weapons.

~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to
shoot straight.
~ Barry Goldwater

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding
guns than holding hands?
~ Ernest Gaines

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were
broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
~ W. Somerset Maugham

Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
~ Author Unknown

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be
called "ecstatic."
~ Shelly Roberts

My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was
a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about it.
~ Amanda Bearse

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's
like disapproving of rain....
~ Francis Maude

The only queer people are those who don't love anybody....
~ Rita Mae Brown

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.
It's just that they need more supervision.
~ Lynn Lavner

If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been
wallpapered.
~Robin Tyler

I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't
have a heterosexual- pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?"
I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's
Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's
Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those
heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every
day is heterosexual- pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss
on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
--Adam Rowland

BARBARA DE KWIATKOWSKI

An interesting profile of the Andy Warhol's "well-bred it girl", who I'd never heard of.

FROM THE NY OBSERVER:

She said she remembered the infamous blackout of 1977. She was at a friend’s apartment and Studio 54 impresario Steve Rubell came over with “supplies” and they jumped into his Cadillac convertible.

“We had champagne and we just drove around,” Mrs. de Kwiatkowski said. “We drove up to Elaine’s and a ton of people were there, and there was candlelight. It was a very carefree time—everybody was happy, things were not serious. New York became serious after that. It was just really fun, probably because of Studio 54—all I liked to do was dance. I just liked dancing! Believe me. And I used to run out of that place and people were chasing me—I’d be in a limousine or I’d run home. I mean it, and this is kind of important, there were guys—it was unbelievable—running on the sidewalk. And I’m not going to name names, but they’re big-time names.”

What did she make of New York nightlife now?

“People don’t have fun anymore,” she said. “It’s over. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a nightclub.”

WHOLE ARTICLE: BARBARA OF BEEKMAN PLACE

Incidentally, Lady Bunion dj'ed recently at a birthday party at 1 Beekman Place. Just a tad ritzier than my usual crowd. Guests included ALLURE's editor Linda Wells who asked "Who made your matching earrings?" to which I replied "The same fag that made the dress!" (I've been wearing these oversized, fabric earrings a lot lately. Not only do they dispense with the need for the heavy glue-on, crystal kind, they are also so large that they actually manage to slim down my "neck".) Linda seemed to enjoy my little joke, but funnyman Jerry Seinfeld didn't really even give me so much as a nod. Until I ran over and did my spot-on Kramer at The Laugh Factory impersonation--kidding! They only booked me for one hour, before they popped up to the penthouse for din-din. I was certain the well-heeled bunch were walking in nudging their husbands with that :"Honey, what on earth is that thing dj'ing?". I normally bop around a bit when spinning, but I was already a little larger than life (and everyone else in the room) so I alternated between politely perky and the glazed, attentive-yet-not-intrusive look that is required of the help. But I managed to strike a confient pose in my imitation disco-era Fendi knock-off fake fur cape on the way out, much to the delight of the giggling doorman who snapped this pic.

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD! BUNION OF BEEKMAN PLACE

MEATWEED AMERICA TRAILER

Male and female nudity, rats, terrorists, guts, puppets and marijuana? What else do you ask from a low budget movie?



MEATWEED'S SITE: AIDENDILLARD.COM

STEVE/SUSAN STANTON

Though Steve Stanton has earned praise and a raise in his 14 years as City Manager of Largo, Florida, his announcement that he is transgendered and will soon plans to be known as Susan , has the city commission calling for his pink slip. And I don't mean negligee! Bless Susan's heart for her bravery to stand up like this while in office! Largo's citizens have had an overwhelmingly negative response.

READ MORE: CNN.COM

S/he certainly here thorough. He even provide a plan of action for his transition in office, including his first day back on the job:


City Manager Returns Back to Work: (June 18, 2007)

This will be the "big day" and will conceivably be of high interest to the media. It will be the first time the Susan Stanton will present herself to the city and will undoubted cause initial disruptions at city hall. Key issues to be developed addressed include:

Would it be appropriate to be accompanied by another person walking in?

Should I provide a picture of what I will look like before showing up for work?

Is there value is some lunch time "Come and Meet Susan" type event. This also will be very awkward but might help employees get passed their discomfort.

GUN PERMITS DOUBLED IN NOLA

God, it was already the murer capitol. Now with half it's pre-Katrina population, those who remain are arming themselves. Scary!

From HUFFPO:

"The number of permits issued to carry concealed weapons is running twice as high as it was before Katrina _ this, in a city with only about half its pre-storm population of around 450,000. Attendance at firearms classes and hours logged at shooting ranges also are up, according to the gun industry."

WHOLE ARTICLE: HUFFPO

NAOMI'S LAST LOOK

She's probably a monster bitch, but I have to hand it to anybody who wears this to mop floors for their community service sentence. I'd imagine that she's the first sanitation worker to work a gown and heels on the job. (Unless those bums I blew counted as community "service"!)



For her full 5 day fashion parade, click HERE.

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM...

BEAT 'EM OFF! One of Manhattan's more twisted sex parties. Masked terrorists aren't a turn on for me, but it takes all kinds. Oh, now I get it! All those guys who requested that paper bag over my head must've been into this kind of kink!

THE AD FOR THE MONTHLY SPIT SOIREE:

Hey You Smokin' Hot Fucker You,

Are you still up since the Black Party?!

Well cum on down to SPIT! Take off your clothes and get ready to be taken by Night of the Sex Terrorists!!

Try and escape!



From the lowly bowels of the Alphabet Lounge, host Paul Short and the men of SPIT bring you:

Terror! with a twist!
Hedonism! with a lick !
Submission! with a slurp!
Bondage! with a burp!
Sex! with a Terrorist!
and maybe some light Dancing ?

Hairy Chunks, Prison Punks, Leather Hunks pack 'em in and party down to DJ Mike Grimes progressive grooves.

Michael Smart pours the Hooch! Sexy Surprises Await.
$3 Bud/ Bud lights Cheap beer, Cheaper men. Admission: $5

Dress to Terrorize !

Venue: Alphabet Lounge
Address: 104 Ave C (corner of East 7th St.) New York, NY 1009
Date: Wednesday MARCH 28th, 2006
Time: Wednesday March 28 at 10PM
Prices: $5 (Free Before 11 or if you're bare assed!)
Telephone #: (212) 780-0202

AVIANCE'S ATTACKERS SENTENCED

Sissies rejoice! 4 thugs plead guilty and recieved prison sentences. The details on EDGEBOSTON.COM.

LADY OF THE 80'S

Robert Coddington, the man behind Culture Vulture Media and deceased scenester/videographer Nelson Sullivan's youtube revival, sent me this ad from the Village Voice. I look so jewish in this pic! And check the acid wash mini! And those arms! See why I like long sleeves now? In another shot for this same ad series, I pose with drag sister Chicklette while "seductively" eating hot dogs near Central Park. That photo was deemed too racy for publication by the "progressive" weekly. Boy, have times changed! Now the Voice features pages of scantily clad hooker ads in the back. Or shoul I say in the rear?

JONATHAN ADLER: THE MAD POTTER

I interviewed this inspired potter/home furnishings guru and now star of Bravo's TOP DESIGN for last month's Genre. Here's the unedited version for all you knick-knack lovers. And do check out JONATHANADLER.COM for more info on his fantastically fab designs!

JA: Lady Bunny, how are you?

LB: Well, I'm just delighted with my new vase. I can't believe that I've inspired it, since I've always been more of a catcher than a pitcher, if you know what I mean...

JA: Now you have your mug on a jug!

LB: And in the same series as Twiggy--

JUST CALL ME JUGHEAD! THE JONATHAN ADLER JUG WHICH YOURS TRULY INSPIRED!



JA: All the stick-thin supermodels!

LB: It took me ages to even open the package it arrived in because I'm such a fan of your work. But my iea of spring cleaning is throwing away the dishes from Thanksgiving. But by some. By some error, I was placed on the mailing list for your catalogue.

JA: You mean I've just been wasting that postage?

LB: But I have marvelled over all of your work, starting with the black/white vases which came in out...

JA: You're making me feel old now--

LB: You don't need me for that, hon!

JA: They came out in 1994.

LB: And they're sort of your signature pieces--so graceful and distinctive. And I've always giggled at the names of your other creations.

JA: Now I do it all: rugs furniture--

LB: Even yarmulkes!



JA: I've covered all the basics.

LB: Do the yarmulkes sell well?

JA: Yes. Now you wouldn't know about this, but some of us have bald spots on the back of our heads and it's a great reason to find religion.

LB; Would those be the gay jews who pick up your yarmulkes? They are a rather fanciful print and not terribly masculine...

JA: No, but they are selling. People love a novelty thing. I have a novelty spouse, you're a novelty performer...

LB: No I'm not! I'm mainstream! This is Genre, dammit! What about the Disco Lady cushion? It's incredible! Is that a big seller?



JA: Huge! We can't keep it in stock. In our catalogue, we say it's "our homage to the hard-core hedonism of the disco era rendered in the paradoxically cozy medium of needlepoint”.

LB: Your furnishings are so bright and bold, do you find that people use them sparingly in a room, as they might cook with just a pinch of a bold spice such as cardamom?

JA: I call my whole design philosophy "Happy Chic", so it's about taking a chic design--normally people associate chic design with being dour and off-putting--so I try to make chic designs happy.

LB: You mention the wacky Lily Pullitzer as one of your influences. And I too have always grabbed every piece I could find from thrift stores. Lily used the wackiest, loudest fabrics but in tasteful silhouettes which endeared her to preppies. Your bio mentions that you fell in love with the preppy look. And the kooky side of preppy is so nutty—the green whales embroidered corduroy pants with a pink dress shirt and a gold shell belt.

THE LILLY PULLITZER BARBIE, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN'T FAMILIAR WITH HER PRINTS



JA: It's over-the-top and improbable but done with a sense of confidence that makes it irresistible. And even though I'm a raging jew, I looooove waspy Palm Beach style. I'm obsessed with it.

LB: Where were you exposed to it?

JA: First of all it was a vicarious situation, but I do spend a lot of time in Palm Beach and to me, Palm Beach waspiness is about having fun and excess. So I love it on a spiritual level and an aesthetic level.

LB: It's also a bit like "We're so rich that we can be eccentric. We're not new money that has to dress down."

JA: Totally. It's like "Fuck it."

LB: Now you got your start as a potter, and I think many gay men can certainly identify with the desire to plunge their fist in and out of a pulsating, muddy hole, but not all of them become potters.

JA: Well, I did have a super-foxy potter counselor. I saw him and I immediately signed up for pottery class. But then, I fell in love with clay and I couldn't take my paw out of that muddy pulsating whatever it is that you said.

LB: And the first things you made were…

JA: Bongs. I was a total bong-maker throughout high school.

LB: And user?



JA: Total.

LB: And at one point, one of your instructors encouraged you to give up pottery.

JA: Yes, a very mean, very discouraging instructor. But in the end it was really great having her tell me that I didn't have any talent because I could just make what I wanted to make without looking for anybody's approval.

LB: Was her disapproval based upon your campy Chanel-inspired pottery, which were quilted to look like Chanel bags?

JA: Yes, I should really pull those out again. But I think everyone's development can benefit from having a discouraging crone like my teacher in the picture.

LB: Speaking of discouraging crones, you're in a long-term relationshi[p with SImon Doonan, well-known writer an bon vivant. I can only imagine what your digs look like. Is it the gayest place in town.

JA: Yes! It changes every minute. It's like an Auntie Mame re-decorating festival as I go off on a new giggly design fantasy. It's a real bank-breaker.



LB: But as their creative director, doesn't SImon get a lot of stuff from Barney's for free?

JA: Not really, and he stopped shoplifting in his 20's.

LB: Are there other designers who you favor in terms of home furnishings.

JA: Of course! My favorite, favorite, favorite people are Alexander Gerard, Bjorn Wiinblad--

LB: Ah yes! (nervously) I know them well!

JA: Of course! But they're both mid-century designers who are chic but with a real sense of fun.

LB: Do you feel any kinship with Todd Oldham?

JA: Todd Oldham was one of my very first supporters. A friend arranged a meeting with him and I was a nervous wreck--so intimidated! But he was so supportive and great and we collaborated for years. He's such a right-on sister. Love, love, love her!

LB: Now that her designs are at Target--

JA: Now she does Lazy-Boy.

LB: I saw a big Todd Oldham billboard. Is there a Jonathon Adler billboard going up anytime soon?

JA: My stuff is both at fancy-pants stores, at Bed, Bath and beyond and I have seven of my own stores.

LB: Is Bed, Bath and Beyond Bath nationwide?

JA: You are literally under a rock, Mary!

LB: And that rock is known as crack, Jonathan. Well, I'm not exactly going shopping for home furnishings when I'm out of town! But I saw some of your line at B, B and B and that's more accents--

JA: I do bedding, bath and beyond and tabletops. But the most stuff is on the website, duvet covers, lighting.

LB: Ah, I'm browsing your site now I see you've done on other piece inspired by me...the Fish lamp.

JA: CLICK!

LB: Hello? Jonathan? Hello?

SOMETHING FISHY...

ZAP: PI

ZAP was an 80's parody of ZOOM, the educational kid's show which was popular when I was a brat. ZAP is pretty trippy, especially when taking on the mathematical concept of PI. Thanks to Tommy for forwarding this lunacy, which he advised watching stoned. I'll freely admit that I'm more familiar with the concept and reality of pie than PI.

I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, DEER!

FROM YAHOO NEWS:

SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn.

"The state believes that particular place is the best to provide treatment for the individual," Assistant District Attorney Jim Boughner said.

Hathaway's probation will be served at the same time as a nine-month jail sentence he received in February for violating his extended supervision.

He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner's consent.

Hathaway pleaded no contest earlier this month to misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal for the incident involving the deer. He was sentenced Tuesday in Douglas County Circuit Court.

"The type of behavior is disturbing," Judge Michael Lucci said. "It's disturbing to the public. It's disturbing to the court."

KELLY PERFORMING AT BANK

Larry Tee and Josh Wood's hit Saturday night affair welcome youtube star (an straight transvestite comedian) Kelly, singing her hits SHOES, TEXT MESSAGE BREAK-UP and CAN I BORROW THAT TOP? this Saturday.

DETAILS:

Saturday, March 24

Music by JOHNNY DYNELL & VITO FUN

Free before 11pm, $10 until midnight for Josh's list.

Element, 225 E Houston

PRAISE HIM!

LADY BUNNY'S BLOW JOB ETIQUETTE

FROM AN INTERVIEW I DONE DID WITH JONTY SKRUFF OF SRUFFF.COM WHICH IS FEATURED ON TRACKITDOWN, THE ONLINE MP3 STORE, IN PROMOTION FOR MY NEW SINGLE, IT'S TONIGHT, BY THE BONEHEADZ FEATURING LADY BUNNY.



“I am one of the only people I know who gives oral sex with a condom. People say ‘I couldn’t do never that.’ Well, do what you want. The fact is; oral sex is considered low-risk behaviour. I’ve only got one life and it takes only one contact to get infected with HIV. Plus, since the disease has a 12-15 year incubation period, infected partners can look completely healthy.”

Chatting to Skrufff from her New York pad, ‘actress, deejay, singer/ songwriter, comedienne, ho’ (her description) Lady Bunny admits safe sex is always on her mind.

“Sexperts say you shouldn’t floss your teeth beforehand but honey, a piece of pizza crust abrades the skin on my upper palate. As can toast! F**k low-risk! I want NO-RISK. I’m a safe slut. So please purchase my new single ‘It's Tonight’-it'll keep this whore in condoms! DJs may present me with a receipt for a blowjob!” she laughs.

READ THE REST: TRACKITDOWN.COM

GAY ACTION NEWS

Relax, it's not as serious as it sounds. Veteran performers, scenesters--okay--drunks and degenrates--Ffloyd (center) and (right) Michael Wakefield will join Linda SImpson at SLURP to kickoff their new comedy/news show, which features regular, very rare appearance by Wigstock legend Barbara Patterson Lloyd with other downtown crazies.



GAY ACTION NEWS PREMIERES THURSDAY NIGHT (THE NIGHT AFTER THE PARTY) AT 12:30 AM ON CHANNEL 34 (MNN)

THE DAILY SHOW'S DIAGNOSIS: MYSTERY

Takes on ex-gay therapy and hilarity ensues.

LOOK OUT VEGAS!

LOOK OUT JOEY ARIAS! JACKIE BEAT HAS HIT THE TOWN AND WILL BE OPENING FOR ROSEANNE BARR FOR 5 WEEKS AT NY NY!


ANY HIGH-ROLLERS WANNA SWING BY IN THEIR PRIVATE PLANE AND CART ME AND A BUSHEL OF TOMATOES TO SIN CITY?



Her press release:

Lucy & Ethel, Thelma & Louise... Roseanne & Jackie!?

That's right, Emmy award-winning comedian Roseanne Barr has asked larger than life drag diva Jackie Beat to be a part of her exciting new Las Vegas show at The New York New York Hotel & Casino!

Roseanne will be serving up a heapin' helpin' of her signature sass in ALL YOU CAN EAT COMEDY with large 'n' lovely Jackie as the salty appetizer! After performing together everywhere from London to gay cruise ships, the dynamic duo will unpack their bags for a limited 7 week run in Vegas!



Jackie Beat is one of the most popular drag artists in the world. The undisputed hardest working "woman" in show business has performed her comedic song parodies all over the US and Europe, written for countless magazines, was one of US Weekly's Fashion Police top cops and a staff writer for the WB series Hype!, and is the lead singer of the electro-rock band Dirty Sanchez on Cleopatra Records. She has had the honor of working with Robert Deniro, Philip Seymor Hoffman, Parker Posey, Margaret Cho, Andy Dick, Molly Shannon, Ana Gasteyer, Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Coolidge and more, but feels a special kinship with the ultimate bad girl, Roseanne Barr.

Roseanne Barr presents ALL YOU CAN EAT COMEDY!
With special guest JACKIE BEAT
New York New York Hotel & Casino: 3790 Las Vegas Blvd. South, Las Vegas, Nevada 89109

March 15th thru April 30th. Every night at 8 PM, with additional late show every Saturday night at 10 PM. NO SHOWS ON WEDNESDAYS. For more info or tickets go to www.nynyhotelcasino.com.

A LETTER TO HETEROSEXUALS

FROM THE LA TIMES:

An aging 72-year-old gay man isn't hopeful about the future.

By Larry Kramer, LARRY KRAMER is the founder of the protest group ACT UP and the author of "The Tragedy of Today's Gays."
March 20, 2007

DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE,

Why do you hate gay people so much?

Gays are hated. Prove me wrong. Your top general just called us immoral. Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country in Iraq. A right-wing political commentator, Ann Coulter, gets away with calling a straight presidential candidate a faggot. Even Garrison Keillor, of all people, is making really tacky jokes about gay parents in his column. This, I guess, does not qualify as hate except that it is so distasteful and dumb, often a first step on the way to hate. Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama tried to duck the questions that Pace's bigotry raised, confirming what gay people know: that there is not one candidate running for public office anywhere who dares to come right out, unequivocally, and say decent, supportive things about us.

Gays should not vote for any of them. There is not a candidate or major public figure who would not sell gays down the river. We have seen this time after time, even from supposedly progressive politicians such as President Clinton with his "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays in the military and his support of the hideous Defense of Marriage Act. Of course, it's possible that being shunned by gays will make politicians more popular, but at least we will have our self-respect. To vote for them is to collude with them in their utter disdain for us.

Don't any of you wonder why heterosexuals treat gays so brutally year after year after year, as your people take away our manhood, our womanhood, our personhood? Why, even as we die you don't leave us alone. What we can leave our surviving lovers is taxed far more punitively than what you leave your (legal) surviving spouses. Why do you do this? My lover will be unable to afford to live in the house we have made for each other over our lifetime together. This does not happen to you. Taxation without representation is what led to the Revolutionary War. Gay people have paid all the taxes you have. But you have equality, and we don't.

And there's no sign that this situation will change anytime soon. President Bush will leave a legacy of hate for us that will take many decades to cleanse. He has packed virtually every court and every civil service position in the land with people who don't like us. So, even with the most tolerant of new presidents, gays will be unable to break free from this yoke of hate. Courts rule against gays with hateful regularity. And of course the Supreme Court is not going to give us our equality, and in the end, it is from the Supreme Court that such equality must come. If all of this is not hate, I do not know what hate is.

Our feeble gay movement confines most of its demands to marriage. But political candidates are not talking about--and we are not demanding that they talk about--equality. My lover and I don't want to get married just yet, but we sure want to be equal.

You must know that gays get beaten up all the time, all over the world. If someone beats you up because of who you are--your race or ethnic origin--that is considered a hate crime. But in most states, gays are not included in hate crime measures, and Congress has refused to include us in a federal act.

Homosexuality is a punishable crime in a zillion countries, as is any activism on behalf of it. Punishable means prison. Punishable means death. The U.S. government refused our requests that it protest after gay teenagers were hanged in Iran, but it protests many other foreign cruelties. Who cares if a faggot dies? Parts of the Episcopal Church in the U.S. are joining with the Nigerian archbishop, who believes gays should be put in prison. Episcopalians! Whoever thought we'd have to worry about Episcopalians?

Well, whoever thought we'd have to worry about Florida? A young gay man was just killed in Florida because of his sexual orientation. I get reports of gays slain in our country every week. Few of them make news. Fewer are prosecuted. Do you consider it acceptable that 20,000 Christian youths make an annual pilgrimage to San Francisco to pray for gay souls? This is not free speech. This is another version of hate. It is all one world of gay-hate. It always was.

Gays do not realize that the more we become visible, the more we come out of the closet, the more we are hated. Don't those of you straights who claim not to hate us have a responsibility to denounce the hate? Why is it socially acceptable to joke about "girlie men" or to discriminate against us legally with "constitutional" amendments banning gay marriage? Because we cannot marry, we can pass on only a fraction of our estates, we do not have equal parenting rights and we cannot live with a foreigner we love who does not have government permission to stay in this country. These are the equal protections that the Bill of Rights proclaims for all?

Why do you hate us so much that you will not permit us to legally love? I am almost 72, and I have been hated all my life, and I don't see much change coming.

I think your hate is evil.

What do we do to you that is so awful? Why do you feel compelled to come after us with such frightful energy? Does this somehow make you feel safer and legitimate? What possible harm comes to you if we marry, or are taxed just like you, or are protected from assault by laws that say it is morally wrong to assault people out of hatred? The reasons always offered are religious ones, but certainly they are not based on the love all religions proclaim.

And even if your objections to gays are religious, why do you have to legislate them so hatefully? Make no mistake: Forbidding gay people to love or marry is based on hate, pure and simple.

You may say you don't hate us, but the people you vote for do, so what's the difference? Our own country's democratic process declares us to be unequal. Which means, in a democracy, that our enemy is you. You treat us like crumbs. You hate us. And sadly, we let you.

CAN O' WHUP-ASS

You may wanna check out this funny blog, uniquley done in a stylish black and white format. The very funny and insightful posts fake news stories such as Naomi Campbell's Mopping Tips (she's begun her community service for NYC's Sanitation Dpt.) and Hillary's flip-flopping on gay rights. Here's a sample:

Hillary's Current Favorite Homosexual Position

From the desk of Sen. Hillary Clinton:

"After days and days listening and dialoguing and communicating and conversing with you, the American people, I have decided to clarify my clarification regarding earlier remarks designed to clarify my position on the alleged immorality of all things faggoty.

First let me say that I am a woman. A female. I have an "inny" rather than an "outie" and that means I like to talk and listen and converse and talk. It also means I can say something, then listen to someone talk about why what I said is wrong. Then I can say that I agree with them, which might seem like a flip-flop but it's really just me, a woman, practicing my woman's perogative, saying what I think is right in a particular situation, and changing my mind cause I'm a woman. I look forward to having future dialogues about that conversation.

Earlier this week, as I was listening and dialoguing with the Gay Men's Health Crisis, General Pace was stating in an interview that he viewed homos to be immoral and felt vomity and irregular when he visualized what exactly two grunts might do in a foxhole. Then I, a woman, having finished listening to those gay men dialogue about their health crises, was asked if I agreed with the General's inconvenient remarks. I believe I responded by pointing to the sky and screaming "Oh my God! What's that??" Then I ran away when the question-asker looked up."

READ THE REST: CANOFWHUPASS

This blog also brought to my attention a Ukrainian drag queen from the Eurovision contest named Verka Serduchka. The author savagely, if cleverly attacks her music, dancing, weight, etc. And hey, I'm a plump dragoon who is trying to make music and perform as well so I tend be supportive of other gals, but honey!, this polka trancen tanzen jam with the Sister DImension pointy mirrored headdress doesn't quite translate for me! But I do give the girl credit for building excitement with not one but two modulations up in key for that frenzied climax effect. So I'll let another blog read her to filth--and do check out her video! I'm not sure that Can O' Whup-Ass realizes that Verka intends to be a comic take on a doughy, traditional babushka, which is clearer in her other videos. And she has a beautiful website, but it's in russian!



Chernobyl's Sad Legacy: Verka Serduchka

KIEV -- Eurovision, the lamest contest ever, is gearing up for quite a battle. It would appear that the Chernobyl-poisoned land of Ukraine has spawned one Verka Serduchka. She's a horrifying drag queen whose disco act is defiantly tacky, and aggressively retarded.

Not all of her countrymen are thrilled with the notion of this unholy collision of polka, disco, and transvestitism representing their beloved (albeit dangerously radioactive) country in the Eurotrash song contest. Her substantial effigy has been burned. Burly vodka-soaked men are slurring rude things about her in Russian and menacing the restive streets of dazzling downtown Kiev.

READ MORE, INCLUDING THE MUST-SEE LINK OF VERKA'S PERFORMANCE: CANOFWHUPASS.TYPEPAD.COM

CLICK HERE TO SEE VERKA SHOW HER HUMOROUS SIDE IN HER MUSIC VIDEO FOR GOP! GOP!: YOUTUBE

COLORADO: STILL THE HATE STATE?

This was forwarded from a friend of a recent bashing victim, whose scuffle with a homophobe occurred in Denver. I include it because we're not all as well-equipped to act and think fast to defend ourselves, and we certainly aren't all law stuents who are more aware of what can and can't be requested of the police, so maybe some pointers can come from Nima's misfortune. The bashing doesn't stop and I suspect that it's usually under-reported.

FROM RON LASKO:

My friend Nima was recently visiting Denver and was gay bashed. He works as a go-go boy around town and has appeared on cards for several of our Pop Rocks! parties (you may remember our go-go zombie pics this past Halloween). Nima is one of those people who makes us all look bad by being practically perfect -- beautiful, smart, fashionable, strong, kind (yes -- he's even off to Africa this summer to help orphaned AIDS babies!). Need I go on?

He has a flair for somewhat flamboyant, though very hip fashion that covers his compact, amazingly chiseled physique. His attacker would have never suspected that Nima is actually an amateur boxer -- so he was able to defend himself quite well. The surprising part of this story is that the Denver police refused to allow him to press charges against his attacker. "The Hate State" strikes again! But what the homophobic cop didnt know is that Nima is currently in law school. So once again, Nima was able to get the upper hand.

His story follows and I think it would be of great interest. I think we all need constant reminders that this kind of thing could happen to any of us any time. Its also helps us to know what to do and what not to do. And perhaps where not to spend our gay dollars!


From Nima:



So, Saturday night my cousin Janet, her boyfriend Evan, and myself
were walking home from dinner in downtown Denver. We passed by a couple
and the male said "Keep that faggot away from me". I said "Excuse me?"
with an incredulous tone and he stepped up to me and said "Fuck you
faggot, I will fuck you up" and punched me in the face.

I retaliated and punched him twice in the face and put him in a
headlock to keep him from hitting me again. His girlfriend then
proceeded to punch me several times in the face. I couldn't let go of him,
so I took several blows to the jaw, head and face as my cousin and
her boyfriend tried to restrain her. Officer R. Boehnlein (and his partner) of the
Denver police department arrived and physically restrained me and my two assailants.
I told him I wanted to press charges, he said "No, go home".

Three times I insisted that I wanted Officer Boehnlein and his partner
to arrest my attackers and to every request he said "No, go home". I
told him I was a second year law student and that I know I had the
right to defend myself after I was attacked. I told him that I have
the right to press charges. I told him this was a hate crime. He
didn't care. So we went home and cleaned me up. We then went
straight to the 6th precinct of the Denver police and attempted to file
a report against Officer Boehnlein. They wouldn't let me. They said I had
to wait until a sergeant arrived. My cousin Janet managed to convince
them to at least allow us to leave statements. We did and were told a
sergeant would call us.

Sergeant Marion Penn called me at 4:00am and after I related the
attack to him he said he would call me back the next day, after
speaking to Boehnlein and his partner. Sunday afternoon Sergeant Penn
called me back and Janet and I went into the precinct. There, Penn and
another off-duty sergeant began apologizing to me for Officer
Boehnlein's behavior. They then brought Boehnlein in to apologize to
me and made him fill out the police report that I had requested him to
fill out 20 hours earlier.

For every question he asked me, I said "Well, you were there, what time
do you think it was", "Well, you were there, how tall do you think he
was", "Well, you were there, how bad were my injuries". Officer
Boehnlein was unfazed by this. I know in his mind not only am I the
faggot who got beat up, now I'm the faggot who's getting his ass in
trouble.

Sergeant Penn assured me that Officer Boehnlein is going to be
reprimanded and investigated and they assigned Detective Vasquez my
case. He is going to go and see if there are any surveillance cameras
in the area or to see if he can locate any witnesses.

While all this makes me feel a little better (as does the fact that I
fucked up that homophobe and for the rest of his life he's going to
know that a cocksucking fudge packer fucked up his face), the bottom
line is that 1) I was randomly attacked solely because I am gay. I
chose to wear white pants and a fairy necklace and thus
was subjected to a physical attack and 2) Officer Boehnlein did not
give a flying fuck. The asshole, who very well could have pummeled me
into a pulp, (if I were someone who was unable to defend myself) was in
physical police custody, a gay guy said he wanted to press charges,
and instead of allowing me to press charges against him, the officers
chose to release him and we all know he will never be found and never
be punished.

This is precisely the reason I go ballistic on gay rights and
equality. If I were a straight white man, do you, dear reader, think
that I would have been attacked? Would I have been denied the right to
press charges? This entire debacle is complete and utter bullshit.

ROTTEN AND WRONG

JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT!


An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.

Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked,

"What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked the second man.

"Hmm.! Let me see. A BLINK ! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man.

"It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit in my pants."

Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

SHEILA B. DEVOTION

Although her Chic-produced hit SPACER was incredible, this fluffy version of(by then) decades-old showtune SINGIN' IN THE RAIN was probably one of the cuts which inspired the Disco Sucks movement. But I think Sheila's trademark hotpants, bare midriff and silver boots are the perfect combination of covered/uncovered skin. And will some of you designers out there force men to wear pants this tight again?

TR-ANIME

Found this on xpeeps.com, the X-rated myspace. I love that some talented artist's fetish is for an ejaculating tranny with pink nuts so large that she could never even walk! I wish I could introduce him to Sweetie. Oh wait, she's the one with a gut so large that she can't walk. And you know she has to be a porker if Lardy Bunny can read her! Actually Sweetie just lost 100 pounds! That laser hemorrhoid surgery works wonders!

STUPEFYING!

Dolly and Cher on the latter's TV special from 1978 on contrasting couches and couture! Who would think of this today? Can this be anything but Bob Mackie's input?

Related:



Bowie and Cher team up for a very weird, Vegas-y medley which begins and ends with Bowie's brilliant YOUNG AMERICANS with a very snazzy arrangement.

PARIS HILTON SUCKS!

Literally, as these pix of her blowing Cee-Lo's (of Outkast and Gnarls Barkley fame) fat cock suggest. Click here to view. They're on Ashton Cruz's site THEASHTONCRUZZOO.BLOGSPOT.COM, a blog so filthy that you need to be 18 to read it! But if you ever wanted to get inside the mind of a handsome, young, funny, irreverent, intelligent NYC puerto rican stud, meet Ashton! And if you ever wanted to get inside one's britches, here's what you'd find in Ashton's:

GULP! DROOL...SLOBBER...SLOBBER..THE BOY'S GOT ONE NEW FAN!

COULDN'T MAKE THIS ONE UP!

Well, now ya don't have to!



From MSNBC:

"As authorities stormed into a middle school office to arrest an alleged meth-dealing principal inside, they found an even more surprising scene inside. Sources said 50-year-old John Acerra, of Allentown, was naked and watching gay pornography when they arrived at Nitschmann Middle School in Bethlehem to arrest him on Tuesday.

Acerra also had sex toys, drugs, cash and a pipe in his school office when authorities stormed his office, the sources added."

On the bright side, he sure doesn't look 50!

LADY ESTHER GIN FISHING IN RIO!

And what a prize catch! Would love to have seen her 7-inch heels digging into the sand in pursuit!

MISS GAY BLACK OHIO VS MONIQUE GREEN

Sick these vicious vixens on Alberto Gonzalez!

From youtube:

"These 2 entertainers are from Chicago. Takiya Valentino and Monique Green. Both have held state titles with Takiya being the reigning Miss Gay Black Ohio. This clip is from Judge Mathis where Takiya sues Monique for not paying the remaining balance of a rental car."

WAS I GOOD AMERICAN IN THE TIME OF GEORGE BUSH?

Published on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 by the Guardian/UK

Was I a Good American in the Time of George Bush? by Rebecca Solnit


Was I a good American? How good an American was I? Did I do what I could to resist the takeover of my country and the brutalisation of my fellow human beings? How much further could I have gone? Were the crimes of the Bush administration those that demand you give up your life and everyday commitments to throw yourself into maximum resistance? If not, then what were we waiting for? The questions have troubled me regularly these last five years, because I was one of the millions of American citizens who did not shut down Guantánamo Bay and stop the other atrocities of the administration.
I wrote. I gave money, sometimes in large chunks. I went to anti-war marches. I demonstrated. I also planted a garden, cooked dinners, played with children, wandered around aimlessly, and did lots of other things you do when the world is not crashing down around you. And maybe when it is. Was it? It was for the men in our gulag. And the boys there. And the rule of law in my native land.

Before the current administration, it had always been easy to condemn the "good Germans" who did nothing while Jews, Gypsies and others were rounded up for extermination. One likes to believe that one will be different, will harbour Anne Frank in one's secret annex, smuggle people across the border, defy the authorities who do evil. Those we scornfully call good Germans merely did little while the mouth of hell opened up.

I now know the way that everyday life can be so absorbing, survival so demanding, that it seems impossible to do more on top of it or to drop the routine altogether and begin a totally different life. There is the garden to be watered, the aged parent in crisis, the deadline looming; but there are also the crimes against humanity waiting to be stopped. Ordinary obligations tug one way even when extraordinary ones tug the other way. The Bush administration is by no means the Third Reich, but it produced an extraordinary time that made extraordinary demands on US citizens, demands that some of us rose to - and too many did not.

Periodically, I would speculate on what was the most extreme and radical thing I could do to stop the illegal prison camp at Guantánamo; picture chaining myself to the gates of the Senate, becoming one of those activists who takes up residence outside the White House or takes over a TV station to get a message out. I wanted to do something so epic that it would turn the tide, stop the crime. Then I would consider that the best approaches were probably already being taken, by the heroic lawyers at the Centre for Constitutional Rights and other human rights organisations, and I would write another cheque and some more letters and feel a little futile and a little corrupt.

These days Americans seem to be waking up one at a time, groggy and embittered, from the hypnotic nightmare that was the Bush administration's one great success - spreading a miasma of fear and patriotic submissiveness that made it possible to mount an illegal and immoral war, piss on the bill of rights, burn the constitution and violate international charters on human rights and prisoners of war with widespread torture. None of the sleepers seems to remember that they were part of the legions who obeyed the orders to fear and hate - but we welcome the latecomers into our ranks anyway.

What took them so long? How could people believe that a fairly defanged country, one we had been bombing since the first Gulf war, was an apocalyptic menace in a world where most nations were well-equipped for mass civilian murder? A year ago, the turning point was marked by the comedian Stephen Colbert's volley of (accurate) insults delivered to Bush's face, in the guise of giving the keynote address at the Washington press corps' annual dinner. He was just aggressively ignored by the mainstream media. Perhaps Katrina turned the tide: the indifference, incompetence, and obliviousness of the federal government was so gross that its pedestal melted.

And there were others who were in resistance all along. I remember with admiration the Japanese-Americans who came out in the months after 9/11 to testify that they had been incarcerated en masse during the second world war, not for what they did but for who they were, and they were not going to remain silent as the same treatment was meted out to Arabs and Muslims. I remember the way that 20,000 of us in San Francisco came out to shut down the business district the day the war broke out, and the huge marches before and after. I remember the few congresspeople - mostly African-American - who dared to stand in opposition early on. I went to Camp Casey outside Bush's vacation home in Texas and spent a day with Cindy Sheehan, who gave her life over to stopping the war after it took her soldier son. Others did as she did. Some of them are my friends.

There is resistance. But if it were enough, the crimes would have stopped, the war would have ended. When it does and they do, some will have been heroes. Some will have been honourable but moderate, in times that did not call for moderation. And some will have consented, through inaction, to crimes against humanity.
Rebecca Solnit is the author of Hope in the Dark: The Untold History of People Power, and Wanderlust: A history of walking.

CLOWN-A NICOLE SMITH

A new glitter portrait by San Fran artist Rene Garcia, inspired by that drugged-out video footage of Anna's "trip" to the Caribbean. Get it here:

website --> http://www.renegarciajr.com/
gallery --> http://www.renegarciajr.com/gallery/gallery_index.html
anna-nicole smith portrait: --> http://www.renegarciajr.com/gallery/29_anna.html



And as you see from the photos below, Anna really loved her big, garishly made-up sad clowns!

MARSHA P. JOHNSON ON VIDEO!

Thanks to Chip Duckett for sending this one my way. You can barely even find a photo of Marsha online, much less video! The sassy Stonewall vet performs a self-penned poem entitled YOU GOTTA HAVE SOUL. Marsha's wearing what appears to be a piece of a smashed mirror ball as a head dress. And for those of you who may not know it, Marsha always claime dthat the "P" in her name stood for "Pay it no mind!"

From VEOH.COM:

"Marsha P. Johnson is now a historic figure, an icon from another era. Here, "Miss Marsha" gives her gay audience "the message". She was universally loved for being totally without pretense. Her body was found floating in the Hudson River at the foot of Christopher Street in July 1992, probably the victim of a hate crime."


And a little note from Chip:

don't know why, but i was just thinking of our old (and late, lamented, and never to be replaced) pal marsha p. "pay it no mind" johnson.

i first met marsha on christopher street the first time i visited new york in the 80's (i was featuring those dreadlocks i put on a 1984 card a few years ago, which you called gagging over) --- i was such a freak wandering through the west village that she came over and introduced herself. i know it was cuz i looked like such a nutjob with that extension-heavy hairdon't, but she actually came over and hugged me and introduced herself.

found this nice poem online. seems it was written in '04, but since i don't keep up so much with the latest poetry news i just found it.

marsha p.: the kind of woman that made both you and me want to move to new york. i wouldn't say she should r.i.p., i hope she raises hell in heaven, or wherever she landed --- cuz marsha p. would never rest in peace. marsha is cutting up wherever she is, but she is definitely not resting peacefully.

xxxChip



And now a poem about Marsha, yams, corn, Billie Holiday and dove's blood!


For Marsha P. (Pay It No Mind!) Johnson

By Qwo-Li Driskill

found floating in the Hudson River shortly after NYC Pride, 1992

"You are the one whose spirit is present in the dappled stars."
-- Joy Harjo, from "For Anna Mae Pictou Aquash..."

Each act of war
is whispered from
Queen to Queen
held like a lost child
then released into the water below.
Names float into rivers
gentle blooms of African Violets.

I will be the one that dangles
from the side but
does not let go.

The police insisted you leapt
into the Hudson
driftwood body
in sequin lace
rhinestone beads
that pull us to the bottom.
No serious investigation -- just another
dead Queen.



I am the one who sings Billie Holiday
as a prayer song to you, Marsha P.

We all choke on splintered bones,
dismembered screams,
the knowledge that each
death is our own.

I pour libations of dove's blood,
leave offerings of yam and corn
to call back all of our lost spirits.

Marsha P, your face glitters with
Ashanti gold
as you sashay across the moonscape
in a ruby chariot ablaze.
Sister, you drag
us behind you.

We are gathered on the bridge between
survival and despair.
I will be the one wearing gardenias
in my hair,
thinking about
how we all go back to water.
Thinking about
the night
you did not jump.

I will make voodoo dolls
of the police and other thugs,
walk to the edge,
watch the river rise to meet them.

I will be the one
with the rattlesnake that binds
my left arm and
in my right hand I will carry
a wooden hatchet to
cut away at the
silence of your murder.

Each of us go on,
pretend to pay it no mind,
bite down hard on the steel of despair.

We will be the ones that gnaw off our own
legs rather than let them win.

We will be the ones mourning
the death of yet another Queen.

Girl, I will put your photo
on my ancestral altar
to remember all of us
who never jumped.

Miss Johnson, your meanings
sparkle like stars dappled
across the piers of the
Hudson River.

Gathered on the bridge
we resist the water.

Qwo-Li Driskill is a Cherokee Two-Spirit writer and activist also of African, Irish, Lenape, Lumbee, and Osage ascent. Hir work appears in numerous publications including The Crab Orchard Review, SAIL: Studies in American Indian Literatures, Many Mountains Moving, and in the anthologies Nurturing Native Languages, Revolutionary Voices: A Multicultural Queer Youth Anthology, and Speak to Me Words: Essays on Contemporary American Indian Poetry. S/he is currently living in Three Fires (Ojibwe, Odawa, Potawatomi) and Huron territories while pursuing a PhD in Rhetoric and Writing at Michigan State University. Hir first book of poetry is forthcoming. Qwo-Li's Website is dragonflyrising.com.


Marsha P. Johnson's train commute from Hoboken into Manhattan earned her the nickname of The Transormer form the homeboys on the train! Video accounts from a friend of Marsha's here.

CLOCK JANET'S AND LATOYA'S OLD NOSES

In this sassy 40's number from their 70's Vegas show. Janet's as cute as a button...nose and that's an unrecognizable Latoya on the right. Or is that Rebbie of CENTIPEDED fame? I can't tell!

YOUTUBE

MISS DUVAL 2005 PAGEANT

Emcee'd by popular pageant host Sophia McIntosh, who I'd only heard about. She's a nut in her curch lady drag. And I love that Tina Turner's PROUD MARY has become a favorite for all generations. Whatever country-fried, chitlins circuit genius decided to put the young Tina and her girls in fringe dresses and long wigs which they them mop the floor on the horn stabs deserves some kind of award for creating such a lasting cultuaral impression.

MISS DUVAL 2005

80's Tina makes an appearance in MISS DUVAL PLUS 2004-5

ELIZABETH MONTGOMERY!

This cuckoo pic's from her fan site, courtesy of Miss Star Queen!

A CLUELESS MCCAIN ON AIDS

FROM NYTIMES BLOG VIA HUFFPO:

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it.

WHOLE ARTICLE: NYTIMES.COM

WOW! THIS IS THE KISS-ASS CLOWN WE CALL A MAVERICK?

THE LEPRECHAUN COMES TO THE GHETTO

I already posted this awhile ago, but now there is a whole line of merch inspired by the kooky story.



FROM WHEREDAGOLDAT.COM:

The original news story about the Leprechaun in the tree in Mobile Alabama:

What happened: Some of Alabama's finest citizens spotted a leprechaun in a tree located in the Crichton area. As word spread, masses of people poured out to see the leprechaun and in some cases, take his gold. Local news stations have visited the site multiple times, but despite their best efforts, they are unable to capture the leprechaun on camera.

WATCH VIDEO: WHEREDAGOLDAT

FUNNY CHURCH MOMENTS

FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

NOW I'M CONFUSED...

A PERSONAL AD FROM CRAIG'S LIST:


Lesbian TS For Lesbian CD/TV or Older 65+ t4t/ t4m 55/65+ - 50

Reply to: pers-295482477@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-03-17, 7:26AM EDT



Worship Me NOW!!! I Am A Lingerie Tease Queen!!
You MUST BE a CD/TV or 55/65+ Older The Better!!!.//!!.ONLY If YOU CAN HOST. I cannot Host or I certainly would. MUST RE WITH FULL FACE/BODY PIC PH# if SERIOUS/ GETS MINE & SOME VERY HOT PICS!!
RTFP!MUST RE WITH FULL FACE/BODY PIC PH# if SERIOUS/ GETS MINE & SOME VERY HOT PICS!! & We Talk.
Lesbian TS; I don't live like this anymore (UNDERSTAND, CAPICHE, COMPRENNE!!..I AM A DRAG QUEEN ON HORMONES/I am a FEMME DYKE(I DRESS LIKE A GUY DURING THE DAY!I DON'T LOOK TO BUTCH/I Look like a girl dressed like a guy!....But FEMME DYKES ARE SEXY!!/ I'm A DYKE! Like MARLENE DIETRICH! or BARBERA STANWYCK) (I did live as a Transexual Woman for 3 yrs/ I do Not any longer!RTFP! I Love Where I Am Coming From/What I am!) I am T but I live M!..T/M...as in Transcendental Meditation! Get It!).I am on Hormones. I am Extremely Feminine. Looking for: You are A Clean Shaven Smooth CD/TV/ or Older 55/65+/ CD/TV Any Age (No hair feminine../Full Face/Body Pic or no re;).I am on Hormones for a few years...have small breasts....eng. spn. frn. a student of hebrew/skr./pali/arabic/....

I would love to dress for you and hope you can let me be a woman with a cock for you.....I come like a girl...I like to tease and tantalize....I would love to wear panty girdles, bras, slips tight black dresses, sheer panties and heels for/with you..//I hope you like the same darling!!//..perfume and oil teasing dildo/vibrator....Teasing, Tantalizing, Tying, Spanking Long Trans teasing , lovemaking sessions...SAFE SEX ONLY IS THE BEST!!We Can Figure It Out!!..love sheila ....

If you fit the descrip: CRAIGSLIST.ORG

CYNDI ON THE VIEW

I don't usually watch or post clips from THE VIEW, Cyndi's just so lovable. She claims "I don't tawlk so good" and then launches into an eleoquent speech about gay rights to sell her HRC-benefitting tour. The conservative blonde (See, I havenn't watched that much if I don't know her name!) host immediately asked about Cyndi's husband and child--"Would she be taking them along?", implying some sort of tainting by osmosis or actual molestation might be in store for her clan. Miss O'Donnell, was also pretty spectacular slamming torture on the show on Friday, too. Oh, and then I finally saw a clip of Rachel Ray doing her thing. She's got a touch of that forced fun which was Rosie's trademark on Ro's old show--they're acting perky, but you know there's something else underneath. With Rosie, that something turned out to be outspokenness. I've only seen her once, but Rachel seems like a party girl with that husky voice, no? So I'm becoming a daytime TV granny tranny ! And y'all are like, BECOMING??? Try BECAME YEARS AGO!

MRS MOUTH

The effervescent Mrs Mouth, a Manhattan cable TV star from the late 80's.

YOUTUBE

CASTRATION DUNGEON? WHERE IS IT???

WAYNESVILLE, N.C. - Three men accused of operating what police described as a sadomasochistic "dungeon" that included castrations have been sentenced to jail time. Richard Peter "Master Rick" Sciara, his partner of 20 years Michael Mendez, and the man they called their slave, Danny Carroll Reeves, pleaded guilty to felony castration and maiming. Superior Court Judge Dennis Winner said it was difficult to call the dungeon's willing patients "victims," but he said six castrations performed there were certainly a crime.

MORE: YAHOO NEWS

DON'T ASK, DON'T GO!

NOW YOU CAN JUST TELL THAT GENERAL PACE'S WIFE IS A FAG-HAG. LOOK AT THAT PIXIE CUT AND HER SET OF PEARLS!



Gays in the military? Honey, gays in the MILLINERY, gays in the MONASTERY, these I understand. But why anyone would want to fight for their right to join the US military now is beyond me. "Let's go die for nothing! It's our right!" Of course gays deserve to fight if they want to, and there's a lot to be said of laying down your life for your country, but not when your country's engaged in futile missions like this war which Bush declared "won" in Iraq years ago. And when the US is sending it's troops out on extended tours of duty without sufficient recovery time between deployments and without the appropriate equipment? Randi Rhodes, The Goddess of Air America, had a funny, if grim, take on this. To paraphrase her words from a recent broadcast, "Yeah!" Without proper body armor and weapons, think how much lighter the soldiers will be while they're running away from the enemy!"

Randi also had a cute take on General Pace's recent denouncement of homosexuality as immoral--"Abu Ghraib, that's immoral. Not Will and Grace re-runs! Not a revival of South Pacific!" Like we need a morality lesson from a career killer, even if Pace is the top career killer in the nation. He's so boyish-looking--might there be a little stifled queerness in this former pretty boy? The stifled type is often our loudest detractors. To Pace, this pillar of the community, gays are right up there with...gasp...adulterers. Are adulterers rooted out with a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy like the gays are? Randi suggested that they interview disgraced preacher Ted Haggard on the matter, since he fits into both fag and adulterer categories! (In case you forgot, Ted's meth-fueled trysts with a hustler occured while he was married. To a woman. Well, I think she was a real woman...)

Gays, the military doesn't want us. Fine with me! I didn't think I'd look too hot in Klinger drag anyway. But we've got a free pass to bypass senseless bloodshed. Whoopee! We'll need you for more important battles later on so Just be a sissy and hush up now! I know that Lance Bass's husband Reichen Lemkuhl advocates our right to fight. He is SO damned sexy that I always end up thinking "Please let him have a tiny penis--he's too fucking gorgeous to be blessed with that fine face, foine physique and a big dick, too!" But sexy Reich-iepoo, no one wants to join the military anymore to fight this empty battle. CNN reported today that in previous wartimes, 1 in 4 households contained someone who was serving. Today, you'd have to knock on 200 doors before you found a household with a man or woman serving. Or one that will buy my inexpensive, hard-working Amway home producs. Sorry, momentary flashback. It's gone.

KLINGER FROM THE HIT TV SERIES, M.A.S.H.



According to CNN today, the US forces have begun posting combat video from Iraq on youtube to attract much-needed recruits, cuz that's where you'll reach the younger set. (Why don't we also develop some anti-muslim--oops, I meant terrorist--video games while we're at it, since that's the only thing today's obese, ADD-riddled brats can focus on!) I guess they've already run through the overaged, mentally-handicapped and criminal recruits, plus the ones recruiters relaxed the GED and drug tests to enable them to bypass traditional sign-up guidelines. Jesus! Can the majority of the enlisted really be as ignorant as their leader, General Pace? I mean, military officials have sounded off about the presence of homos in the military undermining troops morale and distracting troops' focus--to which some talking heads countered by recalling that the same "morale loss" argument was used to keep blacks and women out of the forces years ago. Now, men and women even bunk together. If you're so fucking straight, isn't a live-if-battle-scarred vagina pulsating in the same room with you going to be a little more distracting than a few fags? The straight guys could even get off on the gays' Cher, Madonna and Beyonce pin-ups! (OK, so those first two divas may be a little old to jerk off to.) Besides, instead of worrying that a gay wouldn't have your "back" (pun intended), shouldn't you be a little more nervous, in a life or death combat situation, of an old-timer fumbling for their glasses, a retard shooting in the wrong direction, a fatally dim, poor choice made by someone who didn't graduate from high school, or a drug addict/criminal jonesing, nodding out on duty, or stealing your shit back at the barracks to trade for Vicodin? C'mon! Just think how the fags could spruce up those dingy barracks right up with some fag-nificently draped curtains!

Back to posting battle scenes on youtube: what kind of sadistic freak would this appeal to? The kind of soldier who just went down for raping a 14 year old INNOCENT Iraqi girl and then killing her family while his buddies looked on/helped? Oh, the gang rape and murder occured after they got drunk and hit a few golf balls. Now, isn't THAT a real morale-booster, for ya? You're really sad if footage of death and destruction makes you wanna leave your family and friends so that you can cast yourself in one of these internet clips. I know that straight guys like to be manly and like other species of mammals, like to hurt people to assert their superiority. It's the same factor that draws men to cool weapons and action movies. Not that this was a scientific experiment, but I recently saw two kids, a girl and a boy, walking with their folks. Both brats were having a blast while entertaining themselves. The girl was skipping along with a sweet smile. And the boy? He had his face clenched in battle mode while punching away an imaginary sparring partner. Both kids' behavior was totally natural. And this manly aggression should be harnessed in some way--may I suggest having them aggressively pummelling my fake cunt? At least it's safer (with a condom) than drafting them into a faraway, unwinnable occupation of a war from which they return mentally and/or physically scarred. If they return at all!

And when they do return? Do we "support" the troops then? Not if you believe the ghastly reports from the Walter Reade medical center. Their prices are ridiculous! Oh, wait! That was Duane Reade. Walter Reade Hospital is where they "support" our wounded with deluxe indefinite stays in feces-filled, vermin-infested, moldy rooms like the one I inhabit--I mean, that aren't fit for a homeless person. (Aren't many homeless people veterans? Or are those crude, hand-painted signs a lie? I want my quarter back!) Veteran's groups have been crying out against unfair cuts in their treatment since Bush took office (and before), but we rarely ever hear from the veterans. Why should mainstream news, which is largely run by conservative interests which back the Bush agenda, allow the woeful tales of disgruntled vets to get on air an shock everyone out of their complacency? And like our kids who we give poorer and poorer educations to, the vets can't pay lobbyists to push their agenda in Washington. And we don't need their service anymore because they're too infirm or too old to fight. Well, maybe not nowadays.

The contract with our military is that if they're brave enough to physically defend our nation, then the government will take care of them if wounded. Walter Reade Hospital is supposed to be the shining example of military care centers! I realize that the major grievances were contained in one building, but now other cities have piped up with their own horror stories. Randi told the heart-breaking tale of a leg-less Iraq war veteran who was visited by a social worker before an awards dinner who asked him "What will you be wearing?" and I said, "A 3XXX lacy teddy with fisnets, tiger!" Sorry, I thought got sidetracked for a sec--the vet told them that he'd be wearing shorts, which his social worker didn't like one bit. "It's all I have", the vet explained. When the ex-soldier showed up at the dinner at which he was to be honored, his name wasn't on the list! You wouldn't want a nasty old cripple spoiling the photo-ops, would you? How cruel and heartless is that? You don't have to dig far to find similar horror stories. This administration has consistently limited the press from broacasting images of the dead and wounded, even in their coffins. Is that supporting them? Baby, it ain't even REMEMBERING them! Again, bless Randi Rhodes for uncovering stories like these, and the one about how the government doesn't even ship the bodies to the families homes, only to nearby big cities.

A large portion of today's enlisted are from smaller towns and cities. They're the only ones left whose attitudes are so backward that they actually feel their sense of duty extends to dying in Iraq to line the coffers of the Bush crime family and associates. A friend told me that joing he military was one major way that kids pay for college. I'd heard that tuitions were soaring, but sheesh, what a price to pay. College tuiton costs an arm and a leg--literally! I guess these small-town folks are more traditional, and they're dads' might have served, so it's tough to break that macho code of serving our country out of duty and honor. But there's no honor in our country's foreign policy. 80% of us don't back this crazy war. We think the war is unwinnable, and the press is still hesitating to use words like "civil war" to describe the conditions on the ground in Iraq. But the war isn't to be slammed because we now see that the growing daily death tolls finally took root in our collective unconsciousness or because the fight's unwinnable. That's chicken, and totally contradicts the macho, competitive psyche! We failed! The baddest superpower with the coolest weapons that can't even lick a dusty desert nation of nomadic tribes, in a longer period than it took to fight World War 2!

No, this war is to be denounced because it's immoral. Hear that, General Pace? I know it's a little odd for you to receive a morality lesson from cock-sucking transvestite, but things are so topsy-turvy that it might just make sense. The war is wrong because it's based on lies. We were tricked into it with trumped-up evidence like the forged yellowcake sale receipt which is at the heart of the Valerie Plame scandal. (Randi pointed out the inherent fallacy of the forged evience's existing--Saddam's buying a deadly nuke ingredient on the international black market in a top-secret deal and he asks for a fucking receipt? Yeah, those really exist like Whitney's crack receipts!?) As skillfully as a major, well-rehearsed ad campaign tugs on just the right instincts to program our shopping sprees, an elaborate campaign of deception including the yellowcake "evidence" of Saddam's imaginary WWD's was engineered to tug at our grief-stricken heart strings after the gut-wrenching tragedy of 9/11. Even if you supported the war at first, and the WMDs and ridding the world of boogieman Saddam were our reasons for attacking, why are we there NOW??? No WMDs were found and Saddam's dead. So what's our mission? Perpetual war to so that Halliburton and the rest of the war industry can profit off the contaminated food and water serve to the troops that they overbill the US government (ie: themselves, ie: our tax dollars) for? Or do they simply want to control Iraq's oil, the second largest reserve in the world? In either case, the soldiers, far from being supported, are clueless pawns paying the ultimate in the government's game of greed.

There's no honor in that. There's no honor in blindly fighting for an administration which ignored it's own military experts' warnings of the impending civil war which would explode if Iraq was attacked. Or for an adminstration which fired General Shinseki for claiming that we weren't sending in enough troops to even win if we wanted to. Because we don't want to "win". We don't want to spread democracy to the region. We want to spread instability, and establish a military base in the Middle East for future attacks against Iran, Syria or it's neighbors. Even Rumsfeld, in his resignation letter, called for a reduction (by 1/2, I think) in the number of buildings which were under construction in Iraq. Do you overbuild when you're planning to leave? I don't think so. And how can we continue to imagine that an administration with no exit strategy, an essential component to any honest, non-delusional combat mission whose aim was victory. The goal isn't victory.

And so General Pace will take the time out of executing the failed, never intended to win, dishonest marching orders of the Bush and Cheney--neither of whom even served--to bash gays as immoral. Help me understand why gays or anyone else with a mind would rush to defend their right to join Bush's greed-fuelled terror machine. Help me understand why this christian nation forgot about it's own commandment, Thou Shalt Not Kill. Help me understand why there is anyone who does not realize, at this point, that supporting our troops is keeping them at home.

I'm a confirmed peace-nik who would probably find fault with any war, but I'm not saying that we shouldn't have an armed forces to protect the land when needed. I think some sort of attack on Afghanistan was justified after 9/11. But that macho psyche also has a protective side as well as it's competitve/destructive side which can be harnessed for our safety. It's just that now--and this is not a plug for Hillary--after 1 1/2 terms of an ignorant, deceiptful, pig-headed bully, the world really needs a massive jolt of feminine energy which is intuitive, forgiving, diplomatic, understanding, and conciliatory. I'm generally not this New Age-y, but don't you think the universe is literally reeling from these bullies' wargames? I realize that this is ridiculous to suggest, but somehow we've got to wake up and own what we've allowed to happen. How can we fix it when we're still marching around with our chests puffed out unable to see, much less admit, how deeply wrong we've been? And if we don't know or don't care to even acquaint ourselves with the facts, how dare we mindlessly bray "Support the troops!" as they're sent to die for a war the county's now against? If democracy is government by the people, then we're all at fault and deserve a reprimand as much as Bush deserve's his fucking impeachment. I'm guilty, too. I haven't done enough. I haven't emailed my senators/repesentatives once this year. Have you? I'm going to, as soon as I finish typing this. Shit! Amercian idol just came on and I've gotta see Miss Lakesha! Maybe later. Haven't we all waited long enough? Hadn't we better get a grip on what's really happening and if we are such a caring nation, do what we can to rectify it?

AIR AMERICA TALK SHOW HOST RANDI RHODES 3-6 MONDAY-FRIDAY



I'll tell you an easy and really fun way to start. Give Randi Rhodes a listen on weekdays from 3-6 Eastern on Air America Radio. If your area doesn't transmit it, you can listen online at AIRAMERICA.COM. I've never pumped my fist in the air to any other talk radio host. She may start off her program with borscht-belt shtick, like today's homage to 1960's chanteuse Rusty Warren's silly BOUNCE YOUR BOOBIES, but that's just to lure you into commentary so thorough and so biting that she makes Keith Olberman seem content. She picks republicans bones clean, and don't think she shies away from any democrat who's bullshit either. Though formerly in the military, she's admittedly a liberal left-winger, but did you hear about the NO GUEST LIST TONIGHT cripple story from anyone else? Doesn't that one even make a republican's toes curl with indignation? And with the rest of the news so biased, it's wonderful to hear a strong, unabashed liberal viewpoint for a change. If you're busy from 3-6 then I also recommend Sam Seder from 10Am-noon and Rachel Maddow evening 6-8. I know what you're thinking, and I wasn't a talk radio fan ever before Air America. PLEASE give Randi or one of the other hosts a try and I know you'll thank me. During her Walter Reade week, I've never heard so many grown men cry. Well, except maybe at my last show when they were informed of the no refund policy.

To wrap up, my uncle served in Vietnam. Though he's kinda country, from one of those smaller cities that recruits often come from, the sweet man has never had a problem accepting my sexuality. (Especially when I'm blowing him!) He's a well-liked rural postman with two lovely daughters who's quick with a smile and a salty joke. Mom says she often hears the ice cubes of a cocktail's ice cubes tinkling in the background of their more and more frequent and tearful conversations. Mom says he feels so terrible about his service in Vietnam, the war which the US public opinion turned on while in progress, that Iraq's has sufficiently upset him to the point that he drove from North Carolina to New Orleans to help with the relief effort. To ease his conscience. That's a man at his best, for you. I burst into tears when mom told me about this, because I wished that he and I were closer so we could chat more freely, and I could urge him to channel his energies into denouncing this war from a veteran's point of view. But it's not easy to break that macho code. His country needed him. His daddy had served, too. He made it back. But how deep emotional are his invisible scars?

WE NEED MORE OF OUR WOMEN TO HAVE BIGGER BALLS, RIGHT?




I want to REALLY support our troops. I don't want another generation to end up with scars like my uncle's. Fags, drags, dykes, hags, sex changes, genetic females and even metrosexuals, let's bat our long, curly lashes simultaneously and create a shift in the universe with a calming burst of femininity. Laugh at how hippy-dippy this sounds if you like, but those troops need a dose of cosmic femme power now--your voice of understanding has sat shell-shocked and dormant for long enough. No more waiting for permission or some cue to speak up. No more thinking your voices don't deserve to be heard when you know who is usually right in most every other matter! I declayah, those silly ol' menfolk have gone off and gotten it into their thick skulls that they're protectin' us again, and we gotta go set 'em straight before they go gettin' theyselves kilt! What's that? Some nonsense about a troop surge? Honey, if you possess the power of reason and have some softness in your heart--not just some empty "Support the troops!" slogan swirling in your pretty little head to the exclusion of everything else, now's the time to actively promote communication, nurturing and healing amongst our rough and tumble protectors--be they male or female, gay or straight. Besides, you nutty fags, what if all of our butch guys are bundled off to Iraq and get killed? Trust me, we'll be truly miserable if all that's left in the gay community are big ol' bottoms! Now, really! Even if you disagree with everything I've said, you still want your nelly ass fucked regularly, don't you? And I don't mean "fucked over" by Bush and this insane war!


Queens, faggots and bitches, I hereby challenge you to make this shift. You may be the only ones who can! And before you laugh, the shift's already happening. Feel that Nancy Pelosi at work, maybe? She's so charming, feminine and gracious, but stands so firm on what she believes. I know there are so many more of her out there. So let's do it, girls!

THE TRAN BEHIND THE WOMAN

There's a Code Pink tranny in an IMPEACH BUSH t-shirt and matching pillbox hat behind Valerie Plame during her testimony! Work it out, sister thang! Her name's Midge Potts and "she's" a vet from Missouri.

VIRTUALMATTER.BLOGSPOT

WHAT IS THIS????

VEGETABLES WORKING TOGETHER

Great progress being made in Central America:

Next came Guatemala, where Bush hauled some lettuce onto a truck -- something he later called "one of the great experiences of my presidency."

LA LIZ AND THE CURE'S ROBERT SMITH

Have they become one person?

YOU DECIDE

AND I THOUGHT I HAD ROUGH HANDS!

ANY MASOCHISTS NEED A HAND JOB?



READ THE TALES: MARKALLENCAM.COM

WOW RARE VIDEO CLIPS

The hard-working, regularly blogging (I know I've been so lazy lately!) crew at World of Wonder has cooked up an archive of rare stuff shot by Thairin Smothers. Plenty of unusual stuff here, from the Ron Athey genital torture performance at a Leigh Bowery tribute to a video diary of a Greer Lankton's (the late transsexual doll artist) 1993 retrospective, and Carol Channing in Central Park on Stonewall's 25th anniversary presenting me with her Diamond Award before a crowd of thousands. I'm glad somebody was there with a camera!



ARCHIVE.WOWTV

DJ PETER RAUHOFER ON ROXY'S CLOSING

From The Village Voice:



"Madonna might have been the Roxy's most famous visitor. But Peter Rauhofer,
who has DJ'd Saturday night's event since 1999, most fondly remembers Yoko
Ono's appearance December 8, 2002-the 22nd anniversary of John Lennon's
death. "She came to the DJ booth and wanted to do some moaning to my music,"
he says, laughing. "To say, 'I'm going to go to a gay club at four in the
morning and do some moaning'-she got so into it, we were really all cracking
up. This is one of the most legendary moments, and that happened out of
nowhere. She is a 70-year-old woman, you know?"

The full article: VILLAGEVOICE.COM

BOY GEORGE ON MRS. MERTON

DELIGHTFUL!

LADY CHABLIS IS NOW THE SECOND TRASHIEST WOMAN IN SAVANNAH

YCRAZY ACID-THROWING WOMAN

DEAR PROCTOR AND GAMBLE

AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.

- - - -

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants.



Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you f**king kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls**t.

And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

LARRY KRAMER'S LATEST SPEECH

WE ARE NOT CRUMBS; WE MUST NOT ACCEPT CRUMBS

Remarks on the occasion of the 20th Anniversary of ACT UP,

NY Lesbian and Gay Community Center,

March 13, 9007

By Larry Kramer

Rodger McFarlane, Eric Sawyer, Jim Eigo, Peter Staley, Troy Masters, Mark
Harrington, David Webster, Jeremy Waldron, and Hannah Arendt contributed to the
following remarks.



One day AIDS came along. It happened fast. Almost every man I was friendly
with died. Eric still talks about his first boyfriend, 180 pounds, 28 years old,
former college athlete, who became a 119 pound bag of bones covered in purple
splotches in months. Many of us will always have memories like this that we can
never escape.

Out of this came ACT UP. We grew to have chapters and affinity groups and
spin-offs and affiliations all over the world. Hundreds of men and women once
met weekly in New York City alone. Every single treatment against HIV is out
there because of activists who forced these drugs out of the system, out of the
labs, out of the pharmaceutical companies, out of the government, into the
world. It is an achievement unlike any other in the history of the world. All
gay men and women must let ourselves feel colossally proud of such an
achievement. Hundreds of millions of people will be healthier because of us.
Would that they could be grateful to us for saving their lives.

So many people have forgotten, or never knew what it was like. We must
never let anyone forget that no one, and I mean no one, wanted to help dying
faggots. Sen. Edward Kennedy described it in 2006 as the appalling
indifference to the suffering of so many. Ronald Reagan had made it very
clear that he wasirrevocably opposed to anything to do with
homosexuality. It would be seven years into his reign before he even said the
word AIDS out loud, by which time almost every gay man in the entire world
who'd had sex with another man had been exposed to the virus. During this
entire time his government issued not one single health warning, not one single
word of caution. Who cares if a faggot dies. I believe that Ronald Reagan is
responsible for more deaths than Adolf Hitler. This is not hyperbole. This is
fact.

These are just a few of the things ACT UP did to make the world pay
attention: We invaded the offices of drug companies and scientific laboratories
and chained ourselves to the desks of those in charge. We chained ourselves to
the trucks trying to deliver a drug company's products. We liberally poured
buckets of fake blood in public places. We closed the tunnels and bridges of New
York and San Francisco. Our Catholic kids stormed St. Patrick's at Sunday Mass
and spit out Cardinal O'Connor's host. We tossed the ashes from dead bodies
from their urns on to the White House lawn. We draped a gigantic condom over
Jesse Helms' house. We infiltrated the floor of the New York Stock Exchange
for the first time in its history so we could confetti the place with flyers
urging the brokers to SELL WELLCOME. We boarded ourselves up inside
Burroughs-Wellcome, (now named GlaxoSmithKline), which owns AZT, in Research
Triangle so they had to blast us out. We had regular demonstrations, Die-Ins we
called them, at the Food and Drug Administration and the National Institutes of
Health, at City Halls, at the White House, in the halls of Congress, at
government buildings everywhere, starting with our first demonstration on Wall
Street, where crowds of us lay flat on the ground with our arms crossed over our
chests or holding cardboard tombstones until the cops had to cart us away by the
vans-full. We had massive demonstrations at the FDA and the NIH. There was no
important meeting anywhere that we did not invade, interrupt, and infiltrate. We
threatened Bristol-Myers that if they did not distribute it immediately we would
manufacture it ourselves and distribute a promising drug some San Francisco
activists had stolen from its Canadian factory and had duplicated. (The drug,
now known as Videx, was released. Ironically Videx was discovered at Yale, where
I went to school and with whom I am still engaged in annoyingly delicious
activist battles to shape them up; they too are a stubborn lot.) We utterly
destroyed a Hoffmann-LaRoche luncheon when they delayed a decent drug’s
release. And always, we went after the New York Times for their shockingly,
tragically, inept reporting of this plague. We plastered this city with tens of
thousands of stickers reading, “Gina Kolata of the New York Times is the worst
AIDS reporter in America.” We picketed the Fifth Avenue home of the publisher
of the Times, one Arthur Sulzberger. We picketed everywhere. You name a gross
impediment and we picketed there, from our historic 24-hour round the clock for
seven days and nights picket of Sloan Kettering to another hateful murderer, our
closeted mayor, Edward I. Koch. 3000 of us picketed that monster at City Hall.
And, always we protested against our ignoble presidents: Reagan. We actually
booed him at a huge AmFAR benefit in Washington. He was not amused. And Bush.
2500 of us actually tracked him down at his vacation home in Kennebunkport,
Maine, which did not know what had hit it. And Clinton. I cannot tell you what a
disappointment he was for us. He was such a bullshitter, as I fear his wife to
be. And Bush again. The newest and most evil emperor in the fullest most
repellant plumage. We can no longer summon those kinds of numbers to go after
him.

A lot of us got arrested a lot of times. A lot of us. A lot of us. We kept
our lawyer members busy. It actually was a wonderful feeling being locked up
behind bars in cells with the brothers and sisters you have fought with side by
side for what you fervently believe is right.

Slowly we were noticed and even more slowly we were listened to.

Along this journey some of our members taught themselves so much about
our illness and the science of it and the politics of it and the bureaucracy of
it that we soon knew more than anyone else did. We got ourselves into meetings
with drug company scientists who could not believe our people weren't doctors.
I took a group to a meeting with Dr. Anthony Fauci, whom I had called our chief
murderer in publications across the land. Dr. Fauci was and still is the
government's chief AIDS person, the Director of Infectious Diseases at NIH. We
were able to show him how inferior all his plans and ideas under consideration
were compared to the ones that we had figured out in minute detail. We told him
what they should be doing and were not doing. We showed him how he and all his
staff of doctors and scientists and researchers and statisticians did not
understand this patient population and that we did. By then we had located our
own doctors and scientists and researchers and statisticians to talk to, some of
them even joining us. When our ideas were tried, they worked. We were
consistently right. Our chief murderer Dr. Fauci became our hero when he
opened the doors at NIH and let us in, an historic moment and an historic
gesture. Soon we were on the very committees we had picketed, and soon we were
making the most important decisions for treating our own bodies. We redesigned
the whole system of clinical trials that is in use to this day for every major
illness. And of course, we got those drugs out. And the FDA approval for a new
drug that once took an average of 7-12 years can now be had in less than one.
ACT UP did all this. My children, you must forgive me for coming to think of
them as that most of whom are dead. You must have some idea what it is like
when your children die. Most of them did not live to enjoy the benefits of their
courage. They were courageous because they knew they might die. They could and
were willing to fight because they felt they soon would die and there was
nothing to lose, and maybe everything to gain.

And of course funeral after funeral after funeral. We made funerals into an art
form, too, just as our demonstrations, our street theater, our graphics, many of
which are now in museums and art galleries, were all art forms as well. God, we
were so creative as we were dying.



It is important to celebrate. But it is hard to do so when so many of us
aren't here. At least that is the way for me. I know we are twenty years old.
It seems impossible to me that it has been so many years. I remember much of it
as if it were yesterday. It is difficult to celebrate when one has such potent,
painful tragic memories. We held so many of each other in our arms. One never
forgets love like that. Make no mistake, AIDS was and is a terrible tragedy that
need not have escalated into a worldwide plague. There were 41 cases when I
started. There are some 75 million now. It takes a lot of help from a lot of
enemies to rack up a tally like that.

Rodger McFarlane made this list of ACT UP's achievements: accelerated
approval of investigational new drugs; expanded compassionate use of
experimental drugs and new applications of existing drugs; mathematical
alternatives to the deadly double-blind-placebo-controlled studies of old;
rigorous statistical methods for community-based research models; accelerated
and expanded research in basic immunology, virology, and pharmacology; public
exposure of and procedural remedies to sweetheart practices between the NIH and
FDA on one hand and pharmaceutical companies on the other (now, with our own
decline, unfortunately out of control again); institutionalized consumer
oversight and political scrutiny of FDA approvals for all drug classes and for
vast NIH appropriations for research in every disease; state drug assistance
programs; and vastly expanded consumer oversight of insurance and Medicare and
Medicaid reimbursement formularies. Each of these reforms profoundly benefits
the health and survival of hundreds of millions of people far, far beyond AIDS
and will do so for generations to come.

To this I might add that out of ACT UP came Needle Exchange and Housing
Works and AID for AIDS and The AIDS Treatment Data Network and the Global AIDS
Action Committee and HealthGAP and TAG, too, the Treatment Action Group.

Perhaps you did not know we did all this. As we know, historians do not include
gay anything in their histories. Gays are never included in the history of
anything.

Dr. Fauci now tells the world that modern medicine can be divided into
two periods. Before us and after us. "ACT UP put medicine back in the hands of
the patients, which is where it belongs," he said to the New Yorker.

How could a population of gay people, call us the survivors, or the
descendents, of those who did all this, be so relatively useless now? Maybe
useless is too harsh. Ineffectual. Invisible. No, useless is not too harsh. Oh
let us just call ourselves underutilized. As long as I live I will never figure
this out.

Then, we only had the present. We were freed of the responsibility of
thinking of the future. So we were able to act up. Now we only have our future.
Imagine thinking that way. Those who had no future now only have a future. That
includes not only everyone in this room but gay people everywhere. We are back
to worrying about what they'll think about us. It seems we are not so free,
most of us, to act up now. Our fear had been turned into energy. We were able to
cry out fuck you fuck you fuck you. Troy Masters, the publisher of LGNY, wrote
to me: ACT UP recognized evil and confronted it loudly.

Yes, we confronted evil. For a while.

We don't say fuck you, fuck you, fuck you anymore. At least so anyone
can hear.

Well the evil things that made me angry then still make me angry now. I
keep asking around, doesn't anything make you angry, too? Doesn't anything
make anyone angry? Or are we back in 1981, surrounded and suffocated by people
as uninterested in saving their lives as so many of us were in 1981. I made a
speech and wrote a little book called The Tragedy of Today's Gays about all
this. That was about two years ago. Lots of applause. Lots of thanks. No
action.

There was a Danish study a few weeks ago. The life expectancy after
infection by HIV is now thirty-five years. Thirty five years. Can you imagine
that? That is because of ACT UP. A bunch of kids who learned how to launch
street actions and release a propaganda machine and manipulate media
masterfully, and use naked coercion, occasional litigations, and adept
behind-the-scenes maneuverings that led to sweeping institutional changes with
vast ramifications. We drove the creation of hundreds of AIDS service
organizations across the country, leveraging hundreds of millions of dollars a
year and fielding tens of thousands of volunteers, all the while amassing a huge
body of clinical expertise and moral authority unprecedented among any group of
patients and advocates in medical history.

We did all this. And we got all those drugs. The NIH didn't get all
those drugs. The FDA didn't get all those drugs. We got all those drugs. And
we rammed them down their fucking throats until they approved them and released
them.

It was very useful, old ACT UP.

It is no longer useful. The old ACT UP is no longer useful enough. There
are not enough of us. Few people go to meetings. Our chapters have evaporated.
Our voice has dimmed in its volume and its luster. Our protests are no longer
heard.

We must be heard! We must be.

We are not crumbs! We should not accept crumbs! We must not accept
crumbs! There is not one single candidate running for public office anywhere
that deserves our support. Not one. Every day they vote against us in
increasingly brutal fashion. I will not vote for a one of them and neither
should you. To vote for any one of them, to lend any one of them your support,
is to collude with them in their utter disdain for us. And we must let every
single one of them know that we will not support them. Perhaps it will win them
more votes, that faggots won't support them, but at least we will have our
self-respect. And, I predict, the respect of many others who have long wondered
why we allow ourselves to be treated so brutally year after year after year, as
they take away our manhood, our womanhood, our personhood. There is not one
single one of them, candidate or major public figure, that, given half a chance,
would not sell us down the river. We have seen this time after time, from Bill
Clinton with his Don't Ask Don't Tell and his full support of the hideous
Defense of Marriage Act (talk about selling us down the river), to Hillary with
her unacceptable waffling on all our positions. The woman does not know how to
make simple declarative statements that involve definite details. (Read David
Mixner on Hillary and Bill. It's scary. Go to his site: DMixner@AOL.com). To
Ann Coulter calling people faggots and queers and getting away with it. As
Andrew Sullivan responded to her: "The emasculation of men in minority groups
is an ancient trope of the vilest bigotry!" To this very morning's statement
to the world by the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Marine Gen. Peter
Pace, that he believes the 65,000 lesbian and gay troops fighting right this
very minute for our country are immoral. That our country's top soldier can
say something like this out loud and get away with it is disgusting.

If I am going after Hillary and Bill Clinton it is because I think she
just might win, or should I say they might win. Two for the price of one will
prove irresistible. Thus it is important to go after the Clintons now, while it
still might be possible to negotiate their acceptance and support of our
concerns, nay our demands, instead of climbing on their bandwagon that is akin
to a juggernaut smashing all in their way as David Mixner describes. Too many
gay and lesbians and our organizations are giving her fundraisers and kissing
her ass too unreservedly and way way too early. As for Bill, yes, he is at last
doing great work for AIDS in Africa but it sure would be nice if we had his
generics in America for all those who fall through the cracks of the Ryan White
Drug Assistance Program. Have you noticed how fashionable it is for foundations
and the two Bills, Gates and Clinton, to do AIDS good deeds in Africa and
obviously much too unfashionable to do them in America? I don't like this
woman, but I could, if she wasn't cockteasing us just like her husband did.

We are not crumbs! We must not accept crumbs!

The CDC says some 300,000 men who had sex with men have died during the
past 20 years. If I knew at last 500 of them, I know this CDC figure is a lie.
Just as I know the CDC figure of gay people as only several percentage points of
the population is a lie, instead of the at least some 20% of the population that
the Williams Institute at UCLA Law School calculates it is possible to maintain.
Who says that intentional genocide of "us" by "them" isn't going on?
They don't want us here. When are we going to face up to this?

We are discriminated against at every turn. As we prepare to die the
older among us will be taxed beyond belief. That prevents us leaving our estates
to our lovers or to gay charities. God forbid the latter should happen, that
gays with any money should endow gay organizations with all their gay riches. Do
you think I am being too elitist in this concern? Well, you are using this gay
and lesbian community center now. How do you think it supports itself? Taxation
without representation is what led to our Revolutionary War. Well, way over two
hundred years later gay people still have no equality. Gays are equal to
nothing good or acceptable in this country. It is criminal how they treat us. We
get further and further from progress and equality with each passing year.
George Bush will leave a legacy of hate that will take who knows how many eons
to cleanse away. He has packed every court in the land with a conservative judge
who serves for life. He has staffed every single government job from high to low
with a conservative inhabitant who, under the laws of Civil Service, cannot be
removed. So even with the most tolerant of new Presidents we will be unable to
break free from this yoke of hate for as long as most of us will live.
Congresspersons now call judges to pressure them, which is illegal, and if the
President doesn’t like a judge’s record, he fires them, which is also
illegal. The Supreme Court is not going to give us our equality in any
foreseeable future, and it is from the Supreme Court that it must come. They are
the law of this land that will not make us equal. If that is not hate, if what
I am talking about does not represent hate, I do not know what hate is. We are
crumbs to them, if even that.

This is not just about gay marriage. Political candidates only talk about
gay marriage, making nicey-nice maybes. But they are not talking about gay
equality. And we are not demanding that they talk about the kind of equality I
am talking about, marriage or no marriage. Gay marriage is a useful red herring
for them to pretend they are talking about gays when they are not. For some
reason our movement has confined its feeble demands to marriage. Well, my lover
and I don't want to get married just yet but we sure want to be equal.

I wish I could make all gay people everywhere accept this one fact I know
to be an undisputed truth. We are hated. Haven't enough of us died for all of
us to believe this? Some seventy million cases of HIV were all brewed in a
cauldron of hate.

Mark Harrington said to me last week that one of the great things about
ACT UP was that it made us proud to be gay. Our activism came out of love. Our
activism came out of our love for each other as we tried to take care of each
other, and to keep each other alive.

No one is looking out for us anymore the way ACT UP looked out for us once
upon a time.

ACT UP is not saving us now. This is not meant as finger-pointing or
blame. It just is. No one goes to meetings and our chapters all over the globe
have almost disappeared. And we must recognize this, I beg of you.

I don't want to start another organization. And yet I know we must
start another organization. Or at the very least administer major shock therapy
to this one.

And I know that if we do go down a new road, we must do it right and just
accept this fact that the old ACT UP we knew is no longer useful enough to the
needs that we have now and move on to reparative therapy.

I also know that any organization that we start now must be an army. You
have resisted this word in the past. Perhaps now that the man in charge of
America's army is calling you immoral you won't resist it army anymore. We
must field an organized army with elected leaders and a chain of command. It
must be a gay army with gay leaders fighting for gay people under a gay flag, in
gay battle formations against our common enemies, uncontaminated by any fear of
offending or by any sense that this might not be the time to say what we really
need to say. We must cease our never-ending docile cooperation with a status quo
that never changes in its relationship to us. We are cutting our own throats
raising money for Hillary or Obama or Kerry or, God forbid, Giuliani, or anyone
until they come out in full support of all the things I am talking about, not
just some tepid maybe-maybes about second-class partnership pieces of worthless
paper. Immigration. Taxation without representation. Safety. Why aren't they
all supporting Hate Crimes bills that include us? Twenty-thousand Christian
youths now make an annual pilgrimage to San Francisco to pray for gay souls. I
am sorry but this is not free speech. This is another version of hate. If any
organization sent 20,000 Christian youths to pray for Jewish souls they would
lose their tax-exempt status, or they would have before George Bush. Do we
protest? It is very wearying to witness our carrying on so passively year after
year, particularly now that all of us--and I mean all of us--have been given
the gift of staying alive. I know that young gays don't think this way, but
many of us died to give you this gift of staying alive. You are alive because of
us. I wish you would see this. And we all owe it to the dead as well as to
ourselves to continue a fight that we have stopped fighting.

We do not seem to realize that the more we become visible, the more that
more and more of us come out of the closet, the more vulnerable we become to the
more and more increasingly visible hate against us. In other words, the more
they see us, the more they hate us. The more new gays they see, the more new
ways they find to hate us. We do not seem to realize that the more we urge each
other to come out ”which indeed we must never stop doing” the more we must
protect ourselves for and from our exits from our closet on to the stage of the
world that hates us more and more. I don't think we realize this and we must.
We must.

Why do I think we need the word army? Because it connotes strength
and discipline, which we desperately need to convey. Because it scares people,
and God knows nobody is all that scared of us. Which they were for a while. The
drug companies were afraid of us. The NIH and FDA were afraid of us. Closeted
everybodies were afraid of us. No more. Our days of being democratic to a flaw
at those endless meetings must cease. It has been a painful lesson to learn but
democracy does not protect us. Unity does. United commitment to confront our
many foes.

We never consider the establishment of a gay army, just as in the
approach of the Holocaust the Jews did not consider one, even though urged, no
begged, no implored to do so by their great philosopher, Hannah Arendt, who had
the tragic misfortune to see what was coming and to not have her warnings heeded
or even believed. Why only last week Mr. Obama implored his people, albeit with
a certain timidity: Put on your marching shoes! Go do some politics! Change
this country! If all the blacks in this country did all that, he would not
only win but they would have the power they never have.

What we refuse to see is what is going on around us, believing it is
happening to others but not believing that it can happen to us: the use and
defense of torture, concentrations of prisoners regarded as threats to America
in camps where they languish indefinitely beyond the reach of law; hidden
“duplicate” governments existing under the auspices of the homeland security
state, shadowing the constitutional government but secret and free of legal
constraint.” (Waldron). You don't think any of this can happen to you. I do.
You don't think that any of those "political" prisoners shipped off to
camps are gay? You're wrong. Much of the Episcopalian church is now aligning
itself with Nigeria. Homosexuality is a punishable crime in Nigeria, in Ghana,
in Iran, in Saudi Arabia, in a hundred different countires, as is any activism
on behalf of it. Punishable means prison. Punishable means death. The Nigerian
head archbishop of the Episcopalian church believes we should be put in prison.
Episcopalians! Whoever thought we'd have to worry about Episcopalians. Well,
whoever thought we'd have to worry about Wyoming. Matthew Shepard was murdered
in Wyoming.

When will we acknowledge that we are constantly being lied to? We must have
fiercely observant eyes. We must understand and confront the unprecedented, with
attentive facing up to, and resistance of, reality--whatever that might
be.(Arendt) Intelligent people--and gays are certainly that--have proved
more than once that we are less capable of judging for ourselves than almost any
other social group. When a conservative columnist can get away with calling
presidential candidates faggot and a queer, without any serious
reprisals, than why can't we see that we are in trouble? When the New York
Times does not run an obituary on quite possibly the most famous lesbian in
modern times, Barbara Gittings, than we are in trouble. When I can't get US
News and World Report to publish a letter about an insidiously homophobic cover
story they wrote on Jamestown, we're in trouble. When our country's top
military officer can call us immoral, we're in trouble.

No, ACT UP is not saving us now. No one is saving us now.

We all think we have straight friends. We think if we have straight
friends then everything is OK. But these friends are not protesting with us.
They aren't fighting with us. They enjoy the freedoms they have with their
marriages and all their fringe benefits. Yes, they like us but are they going to
sacrifice any of their freedoms to get us ours? Of course not. And what's more
we should not expect them to. Even though it sure would be nice; we fought
for them and theirs often enough.

The old ACT UP model served us well but it is time to take the next step.
I am not saying that there are not more fights to be had for AIDS. There are and
we must continue to fight them. Infections are up again. Prevention efforts are
not good enough. It is still illegal for HIV foreigners to enter America. But
these issues no longer appear to excite sufficient participation. Few people
come to meetings and our chapters have disappeared. Many of us have tried to
figure out what happened to us and why we ceased to be what we were. We all
have thoughts about what happened but as I said I think its time to stop trying
to figure it out and just move on. Expanding our demands will hopefully not
silence our past concerns but invite increased numbers to meld these newer
concerns I am talking about into a stronger, total mix.

ACT UP requires a new model to do this. A new model that will allow for
different kinds of actions, tactics and issues, not just HIV. I am not asking
you if you even want another organization. I am hoping that you are smart enough
to realize eureka! that the great deeds we once accomplished which changed
history can be accomplished again. For we are still facing the same danger, our
extermination, and from the same enemy, our own country, our own country's
“democratic process. Day after day our country declares that we are not
equal to anything at all. All the lives we saved are nothing but crumbs if we
still aren't free. And we still aren't free. Gay people still aren't free.

Go to Queens, go to Jamaica, go to Iran, go to Wyoming, we still aren't
free. How many places in this country, in this world, can we walk down a street
holding a beloved's hand? I went to my nephew's wedding in Jamaica twenty
years ago. They are out for blood against gay men in Jamaica now. They do it to
you the minute you get off the plane. There are men with iron crowbars waiting
to maim you at the airport. Does our government protest? Of course not. Who
cares if a faggot dies. They are actually beheading gays in Iran. This is
progress? The European Parliament which in the past had played a key role in
advancing gay rights worldwide, is about to be taken over by conservative
delegates that will strengthen their neo-fascist bloc, which will actually call
for capital punishment for homosexuals. You don't think that any of this
can't happen here? I do. Our country's top soldier said so this morning. We
are immoral. The Mayor of Moscow calls us dirt. Polish leaders call us scum. Ann
Coulter calls us sissies. General Pace calls us immoral. Who cares if a faggot
dies. A gay person murdered in Iraq or Libya or Nigeria or Jamaica or Ghana or
Saudi Arabia is the same as a gay person murdered here. Why do I harp so on gay
murders in foreign countries. Because gay murders in Iran have a way of becoming
gay hate in Paris and London and Chicago and in the highest rank of US Army.
Particularly when our own government ignores all attacks against us anywhere.
Who cares of a faggot dies. It is all one world now. The disposal of gay people
is an equal opportunity employer and hate is a disease that spreads real fast. I
repeat: a gay kid murdered anywhere is a gay kid murdered here.

Yes, we have many things to worry about now besides HIV.

You can get married now in New Jersey but New York judges handed down some
of the most bigoted "legal" hate outside of Iran, where as I have just said
they are now actually decapitating gay men. They are stringing up gay boys and
putting masks over their heads and hanging them as Saddam Hussein was hanged.
For being gay. Does our government protest? Does any government protest? Of
course not. Who cares if a faggot dies. Do you have friends in love with
partners forbidden from entering America? To be separated by force from the one
you love is one of the saddest things I can think of. What kind of police state
do we live in? This is not right. This is wrong. It does not happen for straight
lovers. It can only happen to gays who live in a country where we are hated. How
many years do we have to endure being treated like this? If countries like
Australia and New Zealand recognize relationship residencies for mixed
nationalities, why can't we? There was not one single demonstration against
those New York judges, or indeed against any judges who are such dictators of
our lives, where they work and live and sleep each night. They cannot be allowed
to continue to hate us so legally. America cannot be allowed to continue to hate
us so actively. It is not right. It is wrong. Don't right and wrong mean
anything anymore? Why are we not specifically included in Hate Crimes laws in
many states? How many Matthew Shepherds must there be before we are specifically
included in Hate Crime laws in every state?

We have right on our side and we must make everyone know it. If ACT UP is
to stand for anything, let it stand for our Army Corps to Unleash Power.

Think about it. Think about all of this. Please.

We are the only people in America that it is socially acceptable to hate
and discriminate against. Indeed so much hate of us exists that it is legally
acceptable to pass constitutional amendments to hate us even more. This is
democracy? This is how our courts and laws protect us? These are the equal
rights for all that America's Bill of Rights proclaims for all?

The biggest enemy we must fight continues to be our own government. How
dare we stop? We cannot stop. We are not crumbs and we must not accept crumbs
and we must stop acting like crumbs.

ACT UP is the most successful grass roots organization that ever lived.
Period. There never was, never has been one more successful that has achieved as
much as we. We did it before. We can do it again. But to be successful, activism
must be practiced every day. By a lot of people. It made us proud once. It
united us.

I constantly hear in my ears the refrain: "an army of lovers cannot
lose." Then why are we losing so? We must trust each other to an extent we
never have, enough to allow the appointment of leaders and a chain of command to
stay on top of things and keep some sort of order so that we not only don’t
self destruct as we seem to have more or less done, but also, this time, as we
did not do before, institutionalize ourselves for longevity.

I am very aware that as I spin this out I am creating reams of unanswered
questions. Well, we didn't know when we first met in this very room twenty
years ago what we wanted ACT UP to become. But we figured it out. Bit by bit and
piece by piece we put it together. We have a lot to thrash out and codify in a
more private fashion. Armies shouldn't show all their cards to the world. Many
parts of the old ACT UP will still serve us: the choices of a variety of issues
to obsess us in the detail that we became famous for; the use of affinity groups
that develop their own forms of guerilla warfare. Our call for Health Care for
All must still be sought. I have a personal bug up my ass that gay history is
not taught in the schools. Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were gay. It
may be up to activists to ram this truth down the throats of America because gay
historians are too timid to. Timidity is so boring, don't you agree?

Much of what I am calling for involves laws, changing them, getting them.
We need to cobble together an omnibus gay rights bill and then hold every
politician's feet to this fire until he or she supports it. We'd find out
fast enough who are friends aren't. TAG and AmFAR once cobbled together a
bunch of research priorities into a bill that they got through congress.

How about this: Jim Eigo wrote me: a full generation after AIDS emerged
as a recognizable disease, having sex still poses the same risk for HIV
infection or reinfection. Having a sexual encounter with another person a
central, meaningful activity in most people's lives has been shadowed by
fear, by the prospect of a long-term disease and by a whole new reason for guilt
for more than a quarter of a century now. How have we allowed this unnatural
state of affairs to persist for so long? Where are the 21st century tools for
preventing the sexual transmission of HIV: cheap, effective, and utterly
unobtrusive. Lovers deserve nothing less. Instead of sinking time, effort, and
money into excavating the fossils of its ancient achievement, ACT UP might
consider marking its birthday by mounting a fresh drive to remind government and
industry that people have a right to sex without fear, without being forced to
make a choice between pleasure and health. It's an issue that might actually
speak across the divides of generation, race, gender and sero-status. And it
might regain for the organization some measure of the relevance it once had for
the grassroots activists that gave of themselves as if their lives depended on
it, because they really did. Jim is calling for nothing less than the
reclamation of our sex lives. What an utterly fantastic notion, or shall I now
say goal? Why even raising this issue will find us hated even more. I am so
ready for another organized fight.

Are you beginning to see how all this that I am talking about can be
streamed into one new ACT UP army?

I have asked Eric to convey the main difference of what is available to us
now that we did not have to work with in the past:

In the age of the internet we can do much of what we did in our
meetings and on the streets, on the world wide web.

The information technology available today could help end the need
for those endless meetings.

Creating a blog could, in fact, incorporate even more voices and
varieties of opinions and ideas than any meeting ever could.

Where ACT UP once had chapters in many cities, we could now involve
thousands more via simple list-serves and blogs. We can draw in students and
schools and colleges all over the world. It is the young we have to get to once
again.

Creating a blog would allow for expression and refinement of ideas and
policies, like a Queer Justice League for denouncing our enemies.

A well organized website could function as an electronic clearing house
for sharing information, for posting problems, for demanding solutions, for
developing and communicating action plans.

List-serves and a website could coordinate grassroots organizing and
mobilize phone, e-mail and physical zaps or actions. They could also be used to
spotlight homophobic actions, articles, movies and tv, and laws.

Why aren't we fighting fire with fire? Where is our radical gay left
think tank? We need our own "700 Club" and our own talk radio show. Developing
such gay content programming for the LOGO or Here Networks or for streaming
on-line is completely possible today. Why are all the shows our community is
producing about fashion, decorating or just another gay soap?”

Why even Time Magazine is now stating as a fact that websites drive the
agendas of political parties.

I know that even without these tools we reordered an entire world's
approach to a disease that would have killed us all. Surely with these tools and
with all our creativity we can start to take control of our destinies again.

With these tools, and with a renewed commitment to love and support and to
fight to save each other, with a renewed commitment to the anger that saved us
once before, with the belief that anger, along with love, are the two most
healthy and powerful emotions we are good at, I believe that we could have such
a historical success again.

May I conclude these thoughts, these remarks toward the definition of a
new ACT UP that will hopefully begin to be discussed forthwith, with this cry
from my heart:

Farewell ACT UP.

Long live ACT UP.

Thank you.

R.I.P. BETTY HUTTON

Thanks to friendlier999 for sending this my way. I didn't wvwn know she'd passed. I'm wasn't that familair with her, until her TCM retrospective/interview last night, but I love her on this youtube clip. What a wacko!

CHRIS ROCK ON BUSH

When LIFE asked comic Chris Rock if America is ready for an African American president, Rock tells LIFE: “It’s ready for a retarded president, why wouldn’t it be ready for an African American president?”

READ MORE: DRUDGEREORT.COM


Waynemadsenreport.com on Bush via VIRTUALMATTER.BLOGSPOT

March 13, 2007 --Our White House Press Corps sources report further disturbing news about President George W. Bush. Our sources have witnessed a clearly inebriated Bush approaching members of the press corps and making rude comments, including one particularly crude remark about First Lady Laura Bush. In that case, Bush, nodding toward Laura, called her a "cunt." While Bush's drinking is no secret to the White House press contingent, that particular comment was reportedly the worse they have heard uttered by Bush. Our sources also report that Laura Bush's stays at the White House are less frequent and that her overnight trips to the Mayflower Hotel often coincide with the president's drunken binges.

waynemadsenreport.com

KITES ARE FUN

By the Warpettes! Tom Rubnitz (of PICKLE SURPRISE and STRAWBERRY SHORTCUT fame) used this wacky ditty in THE DRAG QUEEN MARATHON, a rare short in which I appeared with Hapi Phace, Tabboo!, Sister DImension, and the rest of the early Pyramid Club crew.

THE FACTS OF LIFE: THE LOST EPISODE

That's dancin' fool Edie in a blonde wig! And the writer, Jamie Morris, is featured in the Charlotte Rae role. If his thoroughly demented and hilarious version of Joan Crawford in Mommie Queerest was any indidcation, scenery will be chewed! So if you're in NYC, don't miss this one!

TICKET INFO

SYNOPSIS:

After sold-out runs at Ars Nova and Ace of Clubs last spring and Provincetown in 2005, the wildly popular The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode returns! Written by Jamie Morris, creator of the LA Weekly Theatre Award-winning comedy Mommie Queerest, Facts features an all-male cast as the girls from Eastland (including Edie, last seen on Broadway in The Threepenny Opera opposite Cyndi Lauper and Alan Cumming). As the sitcom's popular theme song proclaimed, "You take the good, you take the bad..." these girls take it all.

The lost episode in question is titled "The Best Little Whorehouse in Peekskill." Budget cuts are threatening to force Mrs. Garrett to leave Eastland. Blair, Tootie, Natalie and Jo are willing to do anything to raise enough money for her to stay. Anything.

WAH-WAH!

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is standing outside of
the ladies dressing room waiting for his Mom to come out. While waiting
the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out, she
sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out
of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down
there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his
lucky stars he didn't get bitten.

For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women
have teeth between their legs.

When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out
of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of
making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a
little further if you want."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to
her crotch.

"Hell no," he cries, "you've got teeth down there!"

"Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no such thing as teeth
down there!"

"Yes, there are," he says, "my Mom told me so."

"No, there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that,
she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.

"No, I'm sorry" he says. "My Mom already told me that all women have
teeth down there."

"Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her pa* nties, throws
her legs behind her head and says, "LOOK, I DON'T have any teeth down
there."

The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, after seeing the
condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!"

SUGGA PIE KOKO ON MYSPACE

DOES SHE INTEND TO LOOK LIKE LEIGH BOWERY? She lists her interests as two: "food and more food."




Check out this true freak! MYSPACE.SUGGAPIEKOKO

NEVER PISS OFF YOUR PLASTIC SURGEON!

HAUNTING RARE CHER SONG

Never heard this one: MAMA, WILL MY DOLLIES HAVE BABIES? Love the way her choppy side pieces keep getting stuck in her ultra long, thick lashes! I wonder why that would resonate with me?

"A MUFFIN QUEEN!"

A clip from John Waters' MONDO TRASHO. I guess I need to rent this one--never seen it. Love the way the girls are overing their mouths to cover dubbing later! PS: What is a "muffin queen"?

YOUTUBE

TITTIES LIKE A WOMAN

A very odd little ditty. The novelty teeth really add an arresting quality to beard and boobies.

FROM BYRD BARDOT

(A legendary Chicago doorman/scene queen)

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane, follow these instructions:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Boot it up.
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
6. Then hit this link: THECLEVEREST

HELLO SHITTY

JAPANESE POTTY-TRAINING VIDEO

MISSIONARY CLOWNS; THE GUIDEBOOK

GODTUBE

LAUPER'S TRUE COLORS TOUR TO SUPPORT HRC

CYNDI LAUPER, ERASURE, DEBBIE HARRY, THE DRESDEN DOLLS, THE GOSSIP AND THE MISSHAPES WITH HOST MARGARET CHO TAKE THE STAGE IN CELEBRATION OF THE FIRST ANNUAL TRUE COLORS TOUR TO SUPPORT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN

Tour Kicks Off June 8th in Las Vegas at MGM Grand Garden Arena

Tickets On Sale Beginning March 16th


NEW YORK, NY -- (March 12, 2007) - For the first time ever, music legends
and today's hottest artists take the stage for a historical musical event
-Cyndi Lauper, Erasure, Debbie Harry, The Dresden Dolls, The Gossip and The
Misshapes with host Margaret Cho join in celebration of the inaugural True
Colors concert tour in support of the Human Rights Campaign. This 15 city
nationwide tour, presented by Logo, kicks off Gay & Lesbian Pride Month on
June 8th at Las Vegas' MGM Grand Garden Arena. The concerts will feature
five hours of nonstop music with other exciting special guests appearing on
select dates throughout the tour including Rufus Wainwright, Rosie O'Donnell
and Indigo Girls with additional guests to be announced.

THE DRESDEN DOLLS



The True Colors Tour was conceived by Cyndi Lauper stemming from her desire
to give back to the community for the love and support they have given her
throughout her career. The True Colors Tour will bring together Americans
across the country to voice their solidarity against discrimination and for
equality and raise public awareness about the issues facing the gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. One dollar of every ticket sold
will benefit the work of the Human Rights Campaign.

True Colors is a celebration of the basic values and freedoms that should be
shared by all Americans. Fans will experience these values through the music
of both legendary icons and the newest and coolest acts this generation has
to offer. "As an American I was raised to believe that all people have the
right to live with the same dignity, opportunity and safety. This should
include everyone no matter what gender or sexual orientation," said Lauper.
"This tour was created to celebrate our differences by raising awareness for
liberty, fairness and dignity for everyone - not just some of us. Our fans
can come out to celebrate a great cause while also hearing some great
music."



Host for the musical events Margaret Cho says, "I am thrilled to be part of
this tour because I am about as colorful and as queer as it gets. Who else
is going to keep all those Queens in line?"

Human Rights Campaign seeks to improve the lives of GLBT Americans by
advocating for equal rights and benefits in the workplace, ensuring families
are treated equally under the law and increasing public support among all
Americans through innovative advocacy, education and outreach programs. HRC
works to secure equal rights for GLBT individuals and families at the
federal and state levels by lobbying elected officials, mobilizing
grassroots supporters, educating Americans, investing strategically to elect
fair-minded officials and partnering with other GLBT organizations. HRC has
close to 650,000 members and supporters - all committed to making this
vision of equality a reality. Visit http://www.hrc.org/ for more
information.

"Without fear Cyndi Lauper has been a champion for equality for not only gay
and lesbian Americans but for all people," said Human Rights Campaign
President Joe Solmonese. "Cyndi has always stood with us and selflessly
used her talents to promote fairness for everyone. We are honored to be a
part of the True Colors tour which will empower both gay and straight
Americans to show solidarity against discrimination."

Tickets for select cities will go on sale beginning March 16th and will be
available at www.ticketmaster.com .


June 8 Las Vegas, NV
MGM Grand Garden Arena

June 9 Salt Lake City, UT
USANA Amphitheatre

June 10 Denver, CO
Red Rocks Amphitheatre

June 12 Chicago, IL
Auditorium Theatre

June 15 Atlantic City, NJ
Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa

June 16 Boston, MA
Bankof America Pavilion

June 17 Washington, DC
Merriweather Post Pavilion

June 18 New York, NY
Radio City Music Hall

June 19 Toronto, ON
Molson Amphitheatre

June 21 Atlanta, GA
Chastain Park Amphitheatre

June 23 Dallas, TX
Smirnoff Music Center

June 24 Houston, TX
Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion

June 27 San Diego, CA
SDSU Open AirTheatre

June 29 San Francisco, CA
Greek Theatre

June 30 Los Angeles, CA
Greek Theatre



Check local listings for ticket information and on sale times.

ACCIDENTAL TELETUBBY PORN?

You decide: GOOGLEVIDEO

KID'S LIFE RUINED BY TEA-BAGGING

So THAT'S why I got such bad grades!

TEA-BAGGING

JACKIE BEAT DOES A BRITNEY!

"THERAPY"

I think I posted this awhile but I love it so much that it deserves a re-post!

AUTHOR UNKNOWN


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair
Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with
that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.
Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" or "Sex Lessons"

7. Finish All Your sentences with
"In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All
Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, 'Rock Bottom'.

17. When The Money Comes Out of The Cash Machine, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
repost this to make someone smile.

It's Called Therapy.

GET READY TO GAG!

Bobbie Gentry sings FANCY on THE JOHNNY CASH SHOW! Those groovy moves and that wasp-waist! Fancy is a southern drag lip-synch classic, though I guess more gals do the Reba McEntire 80's cover. But Reba's version doesn't have that Memphis/Muscle Shoals horn section or those phenomenal black-up singers. And I doubt if Reba was ever cool enough to wear a polka-dot blouse with red bolero jacket and stretch bell bottoms--with a slit up the frint of the pants to highlight matching mod boots! WORSHIP!

Bobbie on WIKiPEDIA

WHITE TRASH BAGS

YOUTUBE

X-RATED PARROT

YOUTUBE

R.I.P. JOHN INMAN

Who played the fag on classic English sitcom ARE YOU BEING SERVED?, which also featured my idol/twin, Mrs. Slocombe. I guess he also did a little drag on the pantomime scene. A comic genius with an unforgettable face!

VINTAGE GAY CARTOONS

LOVER COME BACK

Did anyone else catch Doris Day and Rock Hudson in LOVER COME BACK on AMC the other night? What a kooky plot to this 1962 advertising comedy caper! I had to snap the white lightning that separates their split screen phone call. OK, so I like to sit around take pictures of my TV when it's this cold out!

TATTOOS FOR THE ELDERLY

Mother's Day is coming up...



TATTOOS FOR THE ELDERLY

BACK IN BLACK...FACE

Apparently, Shirley Q. Liquor'ss blackface routine has now raised enough eyebrows and inspired enough protests at her gigs that GLAAD has issued a statement condemning her, even though GLAAD seems to base their objections on hearsay. Here's their proclamation from a couple weeks ago which lead to an LA gig being cancelled. It also lead to Shirley's Hartford, Connecticutt gig being cancelled at a gay club called Chez Est, which I was glad to fill in as the headliner last weekend. Because of the name Chez, I assumed it was a long E and therefore a latino club. (Is that racist if love cheesy foreskin?) I was mistaken, but nevertheless delighted to make my Hartford debut and announce to the crowd that they had cancelled the controversial performer in favor of possibly the only area queen who was filthier and even more offensive! And I finally revealed that Lady Bunny is actually a character portrayed by me, actually a black male actor in whiteface. And that unlike Shirley, I did not dress up as a fat, poor, trashy black woman--just a fat, poor, trashy white one. And that appropriately enough, it was black history month: Shirley's black and face it, SHE'S HISTORY! Just kidding, Shirly-girl! Shirley, as alter-ego Chuck Knipp, called to say "hi" after the show and I told her I'd never performed in Connecticutt. Without missing a beat, s/he quipped "Me either!" Hee hee!

before.

Anyhoo, Frontiers mag asked Jackie Beat and I, as dragoons, to comment on the issue. Jackie include a picture of her in blackface to illustrate how different it was to dress up as a glamorous black woman, as opposed to Chuck's poor, fat, welfare mother of 19 "chirren". Well, I don't think the fat is part of either Chuck or Jackie's costume--it doesn't come at the end of the night along with my wig and braw either! But Jackie does look wild. Those highlighted cheeks! She does the best shading, the shady bitch! In truth, though, Jackie did not intend for Frontiers to use this pic as her main photo, only as a bonus image of something she tried once. And Jackie was a peeved at the photo's usage. And you don't peeve that ho. I imagine her response is on her blog on ww.jackiebeatrules.com, but I couldn't get on.

"BLACKIE BEAT"



Here's GLAAD's statement:

GLAAD CONDEMNS OFFENSIVE “SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR” CHARACTER

Los Angeles, Tuesday, February 6, 2007 — Neil G. Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), today condemned performance artist Charles Knipp’s “Shirley Q. Liquor” character for promoting and perpetuating ugly racial stereotypes.

The character, a staple of Knipp’s live local performances and spoken-word recordings (including a CD entitled Spirit of Ignunce), is performed in drag and blackface. “Liquor” is described as a welfare mother with 19 children, and Knipp’s depiction relies on a stereotypical misappropriation of African American dialect often associated with the South.

Recent email communications by several community members speaking out against Knipp’s performance brought his act to GLAAD’s attention, and local activists protested a scheduled – and subsequently canceled – performance in Los Angeles.

“While our work at GLAAD is about promoting fair, accurate and inclusive media representations of the LGBT community, this issue has risen to a level of visibility and importance that we feel compelled to add our voice to those speaking out against this awful portrayal,” Giuliano said. “Based on what we have heard from community members and read about this character, we are joining those taking a stand against Knipp’s offensive caricature.”

“We recognize that this performer has a right to free speech and expression, but we also have the right to condemn his performance and speak out against this harmful depiction,” Giuliano added. “This performance perpetuates ugly racial stereotypes that are offensive, hurtful and simply unacceptable, and we are urging our constituents to visit glaad.org so that they can express their concerns to the venues at which Knipp is expected to perform in the coming months.”

Here are Jackie's and my response from Frontiers archives.(I added my unedited version which is not found online. I also added my response to Jackie's take on it but could not find her response to mine online in their archives.)



THE SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR COTROVERSY


After a series of complaints led the Comedy Store to cancel Charles Knipp’s drag performance of his blackface character Shirley Q. Liquor, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) joined the fray when GLAAD President Neil G. Giuliano released a statement saying, “Based on what we have heard from community members and read about this character, we are joining those taking a stand against Knipp’s offensive caricature. … This performance perpetuates ugly racial stereotypes that are offensive, hurtful and simply unacceptable.” Frontiers spoke with two of today’s hottest—and most controversial—drag performers, Jackie Beat and Lady Bunny, to get their take.


BUNNY: I see several sides to this controversy. In my own act, I frequently venture outside the realm of tastefulness. I’m also a drag queen who’s dressing up as something I’m not. Oppressed by men, some women feel that a man in drag is as offensive as blacks find blackface to be. I’m also less PC than most, and actually can’t completely condemn Tim Hardaway’s recent “I hate gays” vent. I may not like to hear it, but it’s his truth and freedom of speech must be upheld. Shirley’s freedom of expression must also be upheld and her detractors should have every right to protest her appearances freely.

I’ve never seen Shirley’s entire act—only snippets online which I found funny. Her “How you durrin’?” has become a popular catchphrase—in fact a black queen said it to me just last night. RuPaul used Shirley for a voiceover on his last album—so Miss Liquor obviously doesn’t offend all blacks. But I was also told that Shirley’s act contained a joke something like this: ( I’m paraphrasing) “My son had diarrhea—and I thought he was melting”, which equates black skin with shit. This shocked even a black friend of mine who’d once opened for Shirley because he was such a fan of hers.

It boils down to where you draw the PC line. A general rule in comedy is that you’re free to berate your own kind. So jews can make jewish jokes, HIV+ folks can make AIDS jokes, and the handicapped can make crippled jokes. Since these people experience the discrimination or hardships that come with their ethnicity, orientation or condition, they are less likely to be condemned for targeting their own. By wearing blackface, Shirley is clearly crossing that line.

A black person can't shed a lifetime of discrimination the way Shirley removes her greasepaint at the end of a show. In addition, since she’s dressing up as a poor, ignorant black woman with 19 children, she’s hardly creating a positive image. So if you’re already opposed to the notion of blackface in general, Shirley’s character would seem particularly reprehensible. Especially when you consider the history of race relations in this country. There are still blacks alive today who had to drink from separate water fountains, so deep wounds still exist. But humor can sometimes help heal wounds.

I think most people would find Shirley’s long list of her kids’ ridiculous names, in her dead-on accent to be amusing. Why? Because some blacks give their kids funny-sounding names. Black comics make fun of this and so do white ones. But is it too offensive coming from a queen in blackface? And if it is offensive, should all offensive performances be cancelled? If so, say goodbye to many beloved comedians. I’d hope that the venue which booked Shirley would have the conviction to back up their choice despite protests. There isn’t one answer to this because it involves personal boundaries. Because my own act may be considered offensive by some, I get very nervous about show cancellations. However, I rejoiced when Jamaican artist Beenie Man’s concerts were chopped because his lyrics recommended attacking gays. To me, Shirley’s act is not that seditious. But then again, I’m not black. But I also didn’t see fit to go and protest the negative, whiteface bimbo images portrayed by two black actors in WHITE CHICKS when the fucking atmosphere is collapsing and my tax dollars are unnecessarily murdering Iraqis every day.

JACKIE BEAT: “This liquor leaves a bad taste in my mouth”

Let’s get one thing straight: I am not a big fan of GLAAD. I have, in fact, referred to them as “the Nelly Nazis” in the past. In the spirit of full disclosure, let me also admit that part of the reason I dislike GLAAD is because I spent a hellish week sequestered in a horribly decorated West Hollywood apartment for a reality show called Seriously Dude, I’m Gay! attempting to coach a hetero hunk into passing for a flaming faggot and, thanks to GLAAD’s whining the show was unceremoniously pulled from Fox’s lineup. You can imagine my shock when I learned that I actually agree with them about “performer” Shirley Q. Liquor.

Anyone who has seen my act or read my writing knows that I am no prude, and am certainly not afraid to push the envelope. I have appeared onstage with a Hitler hand puppet, I have enough songs about human feces to do an entire 90-minute show (“For one night only, Fubar becomes Poo-Bar!”), not to mention songs with fun titles such as “Cancer Don’t Care That It’s Christmas,” and I am currently the opening act for legendary feather-ruffler and wave-maker Roseanne Barr. Enough said.

Yes, I will say just about anything on stage, and to me, when it comes to comedy, nothing is sacred. But, when I make a joke that could be considered racist, the audience is laughing at me—the ignorant white person who sadly knows no better. They are laughing at the self-centered white lady who is so wrapped up in herself and her world that she is a clueless idiot. They are laughing at the white lady, not a crude black stereotype. It’s called irony, and the definition is saying one thing to express the exact opposite. My simple rule of thumb is this: If a member of the KKK would laugh uproariously at your act, something is very wrong.

When you watch Borat, you have a gut feeling as to what the ultimate message is. When you watch Shirley Q. Liquor (who has none of the intelligence or irony of Sasha Baron Cohen), you may laugh, but it’s a shallow laugh, not a deep, healthy, cathartic one. People may think that Liquor is funny because she’s “so wrong,” but this just proves that audiences have become stupid and lazy and will settle for simple shock value instead of well-conceived, well-written, well-performed comedy. The same thing has happened to music. If you don’t believe me, I have two words for you: Paris Hilton.

Look, if I honestly thought Shirley Q. Liquor was funny, like Lisa Lampinelli or Sarah Silverman, I could and would forgive just about anything. But sadly, she commits the ultimate sin of any comedian, far worse than even blatant racism—she’s just not funny.


MY REBUTTAL TO JACKIE'S PIECE: So Jackie Beat is prejudiced AND cruel to animals! Otherwise she wouldn't exclude animal feces in her act. She takes great pains to specify "human feces"--It's just not fair! Seriously, few people are as funny as Jackie. But the issue here is whether or not Shirley should or shouldn't be wearing blackface. And though Jackie may not find her funny, if no one else did, then Shirley wouldn't be getting booked enough to warrant GLAAD's condemnation of her. Shirley has fans, and I don't think the fans get off on the shock value alone, as Jackie suggests. Whether it's offensive or not, Shirley beautifully recreates an interesting accent which is not only one of place, but of time and yes, ethnicity and poverty level, too. The accent appeals to me as much as her humor. And Jackie, I hate to tell you, but there was a guy in a KKK hood at your last show. And he laughed uproariously every second...that he was awake!

BURQA BAND

Singing BURQA BLUE. Lady Kier sent me this hot mess. It might be her under that burqa!

And while you're enjoying some exotic pop music, here's the Bollywood version of THRILLER. I think I posted it awhile ago, but it shoul really be studied on daily basis. Shelita Baby sent me this one.

WATCH: VOLGA

GO, VERMONT!

VIA HUFFPO VIA THE NATION:

The Nation -- When Vermont Governor Jim Douglas, a Republican with reasonably close ties to President Bush, asked if there was any additional business to be considered at the town meeting he was running in Middlebury, Ellen McKay popped up and proposed the impeachment of Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.

The governor was not amused. As moderator of the annual meeting, he tried to suggest that the proposal to impeach -- along with another proposal to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq -- could not be voted on.

But McKay, a program coordinator at Middlebury College, pressed her case. And it soon became evident that the crowd at the annual meeting shared her desire to hold the president to account.

So Douglas backed down.

"It became clear that no one was going home until they had the chance to discuss the resolutions and vote on them," explained David Rosenberg, a political science professor at Middlebury College. "And being a good politician, he allowed the vote to happen."

By an overwhelming voice vote, Middlebury called for impeachment.

So it has gone this week at town meetings across Vermont, most of which were held Tuesday.

Late Tuesday night, there were confirmed reports that 36 towns had backed impeachment resolutions, and the number was expected to rise.

In one town, Putney, the vote for impeachment was unanimous.


READ THE REST: YAHOONEWS

THE 4 STAGES OF LIFE

Thanks for sending this one, Jan!

TRANNY OR GRANNY?

So thrilled to end my blogfast wih this sick link, courtesy of Miss Guy. It's a new twist on those tranny vs. genetic female quiz sites. And it even has it's own revoltingly cute theme song! Enjoy TRANNYORGRANNY.COM! And then submit my pic to them.

FILLED WITH HATE,

I must inform you that my computer is in the shop, so I'll be blogging a lot less often until it's repaired in (hopefully) a week. Yay Mac!

ART IMITATES SHIT

Crappy Art Fetches $96,000 at Christie's



You know it's Art Week in New York when a can of excrement sells for almost a hundred grand. Late Italian artist Piero Manzoni's 1961 feces-de-résistance "Merda d'artista no. 19" sold yesterday for more than its asking price. It was part of a Christie's auction for the collection of Swiss uber-dealer Pierre Huber.
The piece is one of 60 cans into which the creatively regular Italian defecated in 1961, a cheeky statement on the fact that people will purchase anything—and one that seems totally lost on art buyers 40-some years later.

ROLLER-SKATING STRIPPER?

Local jazz musician injured after leaping from burning motor home

By Layla Bohm

A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-time roller skating stripper from Lodi.

Francis Courtney, 60, a guitarist and singer for Stockton-based "Cradle of Sound," leaped from the motor home on the Highway 99 overpass at Peltier Road shortly before noon.

Francis Courtney is taken away by a San Joaquin County medic after he jumped from a moving 1979 Commander RV on Friday afternoon at the Highway 99 overpass at Peltier Road in Woodbridge. (Brian Feulner/News-Sentinel)
In the process, the 1979 motor home's brakes failed and the driver, Anthony "Tony" Luccketta, 49, had to stop the vehicle by crashing into a fence.

Courtney, whose band opened for BB King on New Year's Eve in Stockton, was taken by ambulance to Lodi Memorial Hospital with minor injuries, said California Highway Patrol Officer Roberto Iniguez.

Luccketta, who is still known for his roller skating stripper gig but now focuses on playing music, was not injured. There was no sign of alcohol involvement, Iniguez said, and the Coors Light beer can on the motorhome's dashboard appeared to be a decoration.

READ THE REST: LODINEWS

SPEAKING IN TONGUES

A ridiculous compilation of christian fanaticism. I love how when they really get going, the lingo sounds like arabic!

Watch this persian dance lesson by a queen and note the similarity!