BOLLYWOOD'S VERSION OF THRILLER

A hoot! YOUTUBE

UK'S CRAPPY TRAIN SERVICE

Before you "digest" this article, you may enjoy watching The Beat Boxing Turd.

FROM THE GUARDIAN:

Transport police are hunting for an "exceptionally antisocial" man who has been defecating on trains across the country, causing tens of thousands of pounds-worth of damage.

The vandal, who strikes by smearing excrement inside the carriages, appears to wait until he is alone before committing the offence but investigators can discern no other pattern to his behaviour. Police say the man has soiled at least 30 trains since August, mainly in the south-east.

His foul play has caused a total of £60,000 worth of damage and cleaning bills, while some affected carriages have had to be withdrawn from service.

British Transport Police today warned that the man's unpleasant and costly habit also posed a risk to public health, and released CCTV images of a man officers want to speak to in connection with the investigation.

Detective Constable Donna Fox said: "The man has struck at least 30 trains since August, causing approximately £60,000 in damage and cleaning costs and resulting in many carriages been taken out of service, causing disruption and cancellations to the train services and serious inconvenience to the travelling public.

"This is obviously a serious public health issue as well as being exceptionally anti-social. We need to locate this man as soon as possible."

She added: "There is no particular pattern as to when he appears. He travels to various areas and at different times of the day and different days of the week and basically waits to be in part of a carriage by himself before he commits these offences.

"We have been trawling through CCTV images to try and track the man and remain hopeful that members of the public may know this man and more importantly know where he lives.

"On at least one occasion CCTV footage shows the man being disturbed by a passenger walking through a train. We are appealing for this man or anyone else who may have witnessed this man committing offences to contact us.

"If anyone sees this man travelling on the railway network, they should not approach him, but call the police or alert train staff immediately."

· Anyone with information should call the British Transport Police witness appeal line on 020 7391 5275

PETA-APPROVED FUR COAT

A must-see! BITOFFUN.COM

THE LYP'S GONE LEGIT!

If you're in the NYC area and wanna check out a funny new play penned by John Epperson (aka Lypsinka), it'd been extended! An excerpt from a NY BLADE review:

Smart, Campy Delight, ‘My Deah’ Is no Drag
‘Lypsinka’ creator pens southern-fried play

By JONATHAN WARMAN
Monday, October 30, 2006



Now he’s done it. John Epperson, the artist better known as Lypsinka, has gone and written a stage play, a hilarious southern-fried adaptation of Euripides’ "Medea" at that. It’s not that he hasn’t written dramatic material before: His bio lists him as the author of two stage musicals and a screenplay, and his famous lip-synch collages have always had some kind of narrative (albeit a psychotically surreal one).

"My Deah," however, launches the Lyp into the world of fully fledged queer theater, a new area for him. In his program notes, Epperson acknowledges consciously following the model of legendary Charles Ludlam, the wild creative force behind the Ridiculous Theatrical Company. "My Deah," more than lives up to Ludlam’s legacy, combining screamingly funny campiness with shameless theatricality and gripping intelligence.

MORE: NEWYORKBLADE

WORSHIP ANN MILLER NOW!

ANN MILLER AS CHER (Atually this is famed Australian tranny performer Candi Stratton, but it's Hallowqueen and I'm feeling tricky!)



In a 1970 soup commercial choreorgraphed by Busby Berkley when Ann was 47!

YOUTUBE

CACKLE!

DON'T FUCK WITH THE PUMPKINS!


FUCK HALLOWE'EN!


AND OF COURSE, AS ALWAYS...

BORAT ON TODAY SHOW

HUFFPO

OLD BAG VS OLD BAG W/ BAGS

Ruth Buzzi never knew!

FILECABI.NET

A REAL SCREAM!

Just in time for Hallowe'en! Hee hee!

EVILDADPOORKID

HAROLD FORD WANTS TO RAPE ME!

Well, who doesn't. And it's tough to rape someone as willing as I am. Anyhoo...


Have politics always been this nasty or I am just more in tune with it now? Or both? I know that republicans really can't do much bragging about their current record, so they're blasting democratic candidates with personal attacks full of lies. Rush Limbaugh even claimed that Michael J. Fox was faking his Parkinson's disease shakes in an ad for Missouri democrat Clare MacCaskell. I will admit that I hadn't realized that Michael's condition was so intense. He was really movin'! Maybe they should have put some peppy music underneath the ad and it would've seemed more natural. Like SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROLL, perhaps? A talented, well-loved actor, I hope that his condition hasn't cost him roles. If so, I bet he could still do a mean Katherine Hepburn impersonation! But the sad thing is that while these ads are universally slammed as over the top, by constantly discussing them on the news (which includes airing them), the inappropriate or outlandish or inaccurate ads reach a wider national audience, even after they've been yanked locally for being tasteless. It's free advertising. The national republican party pays for them so that when they are pulled, the local republican candidate can distance him/herself from the ads' backlash. What a rotten, rotten game.

THE NATION'S SEXIEST SENATORIAL CANDIDATE, HAROLD FORD



I'm particularly interested in the anti-Harold Ford in Tennessee ad for a few reasons. This man is even more gorgeous than Bareback Obama and I secretly fantasize about seeing them tag-team it as pres and VP in the White House. Hell, I also fantasize nightly about them tag-teaming it as skull-fucker and ass-rammer at MY house! (Or rather, my apartment. Yes, I'm still renting!) Also, I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee and though I was glad to get out, I retain a passing interest in their local politics. (It's all about passing, gurl!)

Of course I want the democrats to win, but I'm certainly not aligned with Harold's platform. In a necessary if disgusting attempt to siphon the evangelical vote away from his opponent, Bob Korker, he's made faith (ie: fairy tales) a central issue in his campaign. Listen to this garbage he spewed at an Alabama stadium recently: "I serve a big God"--Honey, I serve a big god too, whenever possible!--"he gives me strength every day, and I go to work. I am not that smart. I don't try to outsmart him. I just go to work every day." Just what this country needs: a hick who takes strength from a mythical figure and admits that he's not that smart. Hey, sounds like presidential material to me. Oh well, I guess you win points by telling the contents of an Alabama stadium that you aren't smart. Duh, he's like me. I'll vote for him. Worked for that moron Bush.

I also don't approve of a Ford ad which plays the class card and mentions Korker's growing fortune. Like the disapproval of Teresa Kerry's millions, who cares how much money somebody has if it's honestly come by? And how can anyone run in our corrupt system without the millions in campaign finances which one needs to spin to win? I guess Harold's peeps are trying to paint Korker as rich and therefore out of touch with economic malaise. It's a shitty tactic.

But not as shitty as Korker's ad--what a corker! Wal-mart has even fired one of the ad's producer as a result. Another producer is a Rove protege. From cbsnews.com:

"The ad, in which a white woman with blonde hair and bare shoulders looks into the camera and whispers, "Harold, call me," and then winks, was produced by Scott Howell, the former political director for Rove's consulting firm in Texas.

The RNC ad doesn't mention that "Harold" is black, but the NAACP and others have complained the commercial makes an implicit appeal to deep-seated racial fears about black men and white women."


"Deep-seated" as in "all up in yo bootay" deep-seated? As a white woman I share these fears in reverse--that I WON'T get any black men to seduce me. (Seduce means stick your dick through a hole in a men's room at the bus station, right?) But Harold is so light-skinned that black barely applies to him. Not to mention that his southern accent is more honkified than even the reptilian blactress Jasmine Guy as Whitley on A DIFFERENT WORLD. Anyway, this ad was yanked, only to be replaced by one which claims that he wants to give abortion pills to schoolchildren. How horrid! Even to the boys? Is there any estrogen in them? Where can I find out?

HAROLD, SHOWN HERE PROBABLY THINKING: "I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT LADY BUNNY'S CUNT!"



Sorry! Side-tracked again! As a former Tennesseean, I really don't believe that fears of interracial couples are still that strong. I wasn't raised to be be racist, so maybe I'm just blind to it. I mentioned the ad to a straight , while male friend and he agreed that there was a fear of black men taking their white women away from them. In this day and age? I guess I don't worry enough about who gets the white (or any other color) pussy to have this fear register as widespread. And speaking of a wide spread...



Queen Latifah, in a telling interview she gave to a California lesbian magazine--yes, LA is that boring that I sometimes read dyke rags--claimed that there was a fear among the powers that be (ie: straight white men) of "big black dicks swinging". Does that include the giant dildo that butch uses on her female lovers? Craving them as I do, I just can't fathom any paranoia surrounding black donkey dicks. Maybe I'm out of touch. (I also happen to be out of Magnums XL and lube!) But could Queen be right in that the negro's superior endowments be the primordial "root" of anti-black prejudice? Perhaps so, and some weird survival instinct just kicked in with me that subconsciously said "Girl, if you can't beat 'em, EAT 'EM!"

So hard to focus on politics when penis size is woven into the issue at hand. In hand? In mouth? In ass? Shoot, there I go again! What I find so ridiculous is the lookist angle of the ad, which claims "Sure, he looks good", as if a pretty boy candidate is coasting on his looks, never did his homework and might be a promiscuous playboy and therefore too unethical to vote for. This is a really cheap, low blow.

I actually don't know Ford's marital status, but I have a suggestion should he win his term as the first black Senator elected since the Reconstruction. What if he were to settle down with a stunning, if mature showgirl who'd seduced the entire world with her amazing talents but who has roots in Tennessee to sort of tie it all in. I'd add a little glitz and glamor to his homespun charm, and together we'd soon ascend to the presidency as the first interracial couple to ever grace the White House! PRESIDENT HAROLD FORD AND FIRST LADY BUNNY! I know, it's a pipe dream...but what a pipe I'll bet that motherfucker has!

!

CONDOM SALES SPIKE IN SOUTH KOREA

(AP) SEOUL Condom sales and bookings at several of South Korea's pay-by-the-hour "love motels" surged in the aftermath of North Korea's nuclear test, according to statistics released Thursday.

South Koreans are used to living in the shadow of war, and life has continued as normal across the country in the wake of the Oct. 9 explosion. But statistics on the number of condoms sold in recent weeks suggest that despite their apparently blasé reaction to the North's nuclear bluster, many South Koreans may be seeking solace in sex.

A leading chain of convenience stores reported Thursday that their condom sales rose to an average of 1,930 a day in the week after Oct. 9, compared to 1,508 a day for the year to Sept. 30.

Sales of the prophylactics dropped slightly to 1,772 in the week of Oct. 16-21, but remained well above previous norms.

Another national chain said it sold 3.54 million South Korean won (US$3,721) worth of condoms a day during the week after the test — a 14.8 percent rise over last month's sales figures, and a 12 percent rise over the year to Sept. 30.

The statistics were first reported by a prominent newspaper, Chosun Ilbo, which ran a full-color graphic of a condom-shrouded missile bearing the North Korean flag.

It was impossible to know whether the increase in sales was directly linked to a heightened sense of vulnerability or stress among South Koreans.

However, the head of the Korea Institute for Sex Education, Seong Gyeong-won, said it is not uncommon for people to seek comfort in the arms of a lover during times of crisis.

"People tend to have urges to procreate in times of extreme situations," she said. "Stress is released through sex ... it's one of the top 10 reasons why sex is good for the body."

A popular online reservation site for several business hotels and South Korea's ubiquitous "love motels" — the popular term for lodgings built for clandestine rendezvous — also reported a rise in bookings in the two weeks after Oct. 9, according to the Chosun Ilbo report.

The motels are a fixture across South Korea. In one of the world's most densely populated countries, where extended families often live together, such accommodations provide a refuge for those seeking discreet intimate encounters.

But those who haven't already made their reservations will have to wait. The online system says it has no available slots until next month.

OCTOBER GENRE CLOUMN

This was orignally published in Genre and since monthly mags have 3 month lead times, some of the info isn't super-current. And a lot has happene since then. Things are looking up for the democrats after the Foley scandal's soured the nation on republicans. But believing (as I do) that the republicans largely detemine what appears on TV as news, I'm so jaded that I wouldn't doubt that newscasters are predicting landslide victories for dem's just so that democratic voters will sleep and not turn out in as high a number. Just (puff puff) paranoid, I (puff) guess... Anyhoo, here's the article:


I’ve never been one for conspiracy theories. I’m a hypochondriac momma’s “boy” and my mom’s happens to be a nurse who constantly sends me ridiculous newspaper health clippings. When I received the article entitled “Doctor questions the safety of herbal teas” I finally told her enough of the clippings. I don’t need to add herbal teas or feline “AIDS” to my terror watch list.

The list is full enough--with bombs concealed in sneakers by shoe-bomber Richard Reid… and the plastic explosives concealed in beverage containers in the "London 9/11” which is now preventing me from carrying on rubbing lotion on my gnarled claws on flights. Not to mention being banned from toting lube on board in the hopes of finally joining the Mile High Club. As if the humiliation of having to remove my shoes going through security wasn’t enough—they don’t call me Lady Bunion for nothing!

It’s hideous, but I guess we have to weigh up every conspiracy theory nowadays. I’ve even developed a few of my own. Now that everyone in the world is hooked on their stronger-than-crack espresso drinks, I’m convinced that Starbucks is cutting back on their beverages’ caffeine content. Just like a drug dealer who lures you in with the “good bag “ which they let you try and then sells you subsequent baggies of inferior quality. (Kevin Aviance assures me that this practice is quite common.) And correct me if I’m wrong, but I sniff the scented creases of every mag's perfume ad—and out of the 100’s of new fragrances in the last 10 years, there are only 2 different scents. Now I know I may be way out on a limb on this one, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Lance Bass just might be gay!

Of course we’ve all heard the insidious conspiracy theory that the government arranged 9/11. Apparently 30% of the nation now believes it. 60% of Americans are against the war. Thankfully, these statistics help balance the 50% (up from the 38% of the last Harris poll) who believe that Iraq DID have WMD. This is a real head-scratcher. No weapons have been found, and no one’s even looking, so how could believers in the fabled weapons possibly INCREASE? Uh, maybe the effect of the propaganda which masquerades as news these days? Republican newsletters? The urgings of fundamentalist preachers? Whatever the reason, one thing is clear. Tabloids chronicling Lindsay and Paris's latest exploits are booming, but we, as a nation, have largely substituted our interest in politics with our fascination with celebrity gossip. And democracy, the great principle which we’re trying to spread in Iraq with bullets, bombs, rape and torture, is a principle which cannot function without an informed electorate. Here's another little conspiracy theory for ya: maybe those education cuts are intended to keep us too stupid to analyze our misleader's diabolical actions. Example: Americans being evacuated from Lebanon were initially made to pay for their safe passage to Cyprus. This greedy, disgusting policy was dropped days later after a public outcry. I can almost imagine the Bush administration sending helicopters to hover Katrina victims and bargaining with them over their rescue fares. But If you aren't aware of the shit that the government is pulling, there will be no outcry!

Another alarming statistic comes to mind: more people voted in for the American Idol competition than for our president. I recently eavesdropped on a friend’s cell conversation as he began discussing the latest Idol scandal: so-and-so should have won that round, etc. People! Enjoy any type of entertainment you wish to, but if a fucking singing competition concerns you more than the presidential race, you’re a blasted moron! And rather than buzzing about which Idol candidate was robbed when booted off…..get ready..here comes another conspiracy theory….YOU were all robbed when Bush stole the election which put him in the White House!

And really, though she has tons of gay fans, does Kelly Clarkson dictate whether or not gays can get married? Fantasia can sing her ass off, but does she have the authority to get screaming Katrina victims off of those rooftops? Is Taylor Hicks the one who’s spending your tax dollars on an Iraqi civil war which we “won” years ago? It’s not hard to imagine that hearty-eating Ruben Studdard has gas, but is he responsible for soaring gas prices? And is Clay Aiken the guy who is “protecting” the country by enacting a Patriot Act which enables the government to spy on our phone and internet lines? (Of course, after details of Clay’s recent gay fling hit the net., he might WANT to impose more internet privacy. That way, we wouldn’t all know that she’s a top who doesn’t use a condom! I just hopes she hits a high note when she cums!)

OK, I got a little side-tracked, but the answer to my questions is no, the IDOL winners do not shape government policies. George Bush, or whichever diabolical puppet-meister who has their hand up his evil redneck ass at the moment, does. And we now have a chance to declaw his administration which is dragging our country down, not just on gay issues, but on moral issues like baseless, pre-emptive wars (stay tuned for a new one against Iran) and cow-towing to corporate interests so that the average American can’t afford insurance, declare bankruptcy, or earn a slightly higher minimum wage—well, if their job isn’t already out-sourced, that is. That chance is coming up in November with the congressional elections. I’m buoyed by Connecticutt’s peace-lovin’ candidate Ned Lamont’s Senate primary win over pro-war “democrat” Joe Liebermann. Is this a signal that, at least in Connecticutt, voters are fed up with a government which is killing our soldiers for oil and draining our finances to do it?

Maybe you’re one of those folks who voted for an Idol candidate and not a presidential one. Or maybe you voted for the president and not your state’s congressional representatives. Well, you’ve still got a little time to vote if you are registered. And if you can’t get your head out of your ditzy American Idol mode for even one second, then try pretending you’re a judge on your fav show as you vote. Imagine that you’re Paula Abdul slurring on some really good prescription drugs with Corey Clark’s load all over your face as you stagger to the poll. Or viciously diss all the Republican candidates loudly in line for the voting booth a la Simon Cowell might. Just get out there and make yourself heard!

FOXY BROWN GETS PROBATION

I just wanna know what they did her to her nails to warrant kicking AND smacking???

From aol.com:

By Stephen M. Silverman

Rapper Foxy Brown was sentenced in a New York City court on Tuesday to
three years' probation and anger management counseling for assaulting
two manicurists.

The flamboyant hip-hop star (real name: Inga Marchand), 27, originally
pleaded guilty in August to kicking and smacking employees of
Manhattan's Bloomie Nails in August 2004 - but on Tuesday attempted to
change her plea before Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Melissa C.
Jackson.

"I just feel like I was coerced. I felt rushed," Brown said of her
August plea, New York's Daily News reports.

But Jackson warned Brown she could face a year in jail if she did not
abide by her probation terms, which began immediately. Brown - toting a
Louis Vuitton bag she told the New York Post was worth $10,000 - had to
give a DNA sample in the court building.

After that, she told The New York Times, "I'm headed to the (recording)
studio. Right after the studio, I'm headed to Bible studies."

JOSMAR GERONA!

Even his back-up dancer is giggling!

YOUTUBE

IF YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF...

That Bush is a lying piece of shit, here's a damning video montage of his recent "stay the course" denial: HUFFPO

KICKING THE GAY HABIT: STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC

Wait...do you think that Paul Lynde might have been....nah!

Excerpts from this ridiculous article on an ex-gay workshop.

KICKING THE GAY HABIT: STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC

That's how the founder of a gay conversion program explained his policy on wit to Ohio State University professor Tanya Erzen.

Erzen recounts the year she spent inside the New Hope Ministry in her book "Straight to Jesus." New Hope, based in California, offered a residential program to turn gay men into "ex-gays."

While it may come as something of a revelation that sarcasm is gay, New Hope's list of banned activities has some more familiar entries. Also forbidden are tight pants, tank tops, spandex, biker pants, half shirts, short shorts, "gay terms and mannerisms," the Internet, smoking, hair coloring, going to a health club, and watching the television show "Will and Grace."

BUNNY NOTE: WOO HOO! No mention of a ban on meth, poppers or gerbils, girls! And I guess you can still play with your Billy doll. Just don't use Billy as a dildo. (Carlos is bigger and therefore more satisfying. Uh, I'm told.)

Erzen explained that ex-gay training combines evangelical teachings, psychology, self-help and a healthy dose of stereotypes.

BUNNY NOTE: I'd love to see how they combine the diametrically opposed disciplines of psychology and evangelical teachings.

"They have a very stereotypical, monolithic view of homosexuality," Erzen told The Other Paper last week. "They see gay as a lifestyle, and they try to break the link between you and everything they associate with that lifestyle."

While the list of rules is lengthy, it is not necessarily scrupulously followed.

Masturbation, for example, is banned. But, Erzen said, "Everybody there masturbates."

BUNNY NOTE: Is it still called masturbation if a man's hand is replaced by another man's mouth or asshole?

"To cultivate masculinity, New Hope encourages participants to go camping, play basketball and attend "Straight Man Nights" to study the habits of heterosexuals.

BUNNY NOTE: Culminating in a therapy session in which the fags, posing as bullies, bash each other to a bloody pulp!

Erzen said that for many of the men in the program, straight men are "of another species," and masculinity "is just unfathomable."

BUNNY NOTE: Here, here, my good queer!

Participants soaked up all the information they could, asking straight men questions ranging from the practical ("What do you say when you sexually harass a woman?") to the existential ("Can a man ever fully understand a woman?").

BUNNY NOTE: to the desperate ("Can I please suck you off one more time before I become straight like you?")

Still, some participants rebelled against the format of the classes. "There's a lot of things I could teach straight men," one said, "like how to dress.

BUNNY NOTE: ...how to dress...like a nelly fag! If there are so many benefits to being gay, why the fuck are you in this stupid-ass workshop?

CHARLIE BROWN'S GALLERY

No, not the cartoon character! "The Ultimate Bitch of The South" Mr. Charlie Brown, who you may have seen in HBO's dragtime. Her site's opening montage is a scream and Charlie fans will certainly appreciate the gallery, with Charlie showcasing her new, slimmer shape and some outrageous gowns. But I'm headed to Atlanta tonight and can't find out where she's performing--any clues? I'm there working tonight and tomorrow night but I get off early and I need my "Charlie's in Charge" fix! Check out her claws and jewelry in this pic
!

HOW TO PUT ON A BRA 101

Holly Valance shows you how: HOWTOPUTONABRA

BARNEY'S FRANK

Let a faggot read!

An excerpt: "There are fifteen year olds in this country today in high school whose lives are being made miserable because they're gay and lesbian. And people who are themselves gay adults and are enjoying positions of power in Washington who advance that kind of abusive society, no, it has nothing to do with their economics, I find that contemptible."

CROOKSANLIARS

CORNY ADULT FAIRY TALES

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.

As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."

Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"

"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly . Peter, Peter, something or other..."

___________________________________________

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

_____________________________________________

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

____________________________________________

MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."

___________________________________________

SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

___________________________________________

Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.

____________________________________________

One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."

Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Just checking for bees."

OCTOBER IN PARIS

On October 20th, Bun-Bun dj'ed at the Van Cleef and Arpels 100th anniversary soiree in Paris. Held in a tent at the famous Tuileries garden, the event took 9 months to plan! When it gave birth, it was quite the do! Apparently, the day of the party, there was a run on Van Cleef's diamonds, presumably purchased for that evening's soiree! I was a long way from Chattanooga! Not be be outsparkled by the international socialites who can afford real gemstones, I ordered up a new frock festooned with rhinestones which were set uff by a platinum bouff-goes-the-bob, just for the occasion! And the size of my blinged-up ring certainly raised a few well-manicured eyebrows.

BUNNY MODELLING THE "HOPELESS" DIAMOND: VAN CLEEF AND WHO?





I was picked up by my visiting friends Sue Tilley (art model and author of the 1997 Leigh Bowery biography, THE LIFE AND TIMES OF AN ICON) and Erich Conrad (promoter of NYC's Beige and Sundays at the Maritime). Shooting the pix (since I lost mine immediately upon arriving at the party!) was my Wigstock partner/painter, Scott Lifshutz.

SCOTT "TOOK" ME FROM BEHIND WITH A RUSSIAN MOTHER/DAUGHTER SOCIALITE TEAM. I DESERVE A COUPLE POINTS JUST FOR HAULING THAT WIG OVER TO FRANCE IN GOOD CONDITION! (I DON'T THINK MANY FOLKS CARRY PLASTIC BAGS ONTO INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS CLASS SECTIONS!



The night began with a bang--the famed Lido showgirls, who dazzled the eye with whirling feathers and Vegas-y music which sounded like it was written 30 years ago--ie it was good music! An how can you lose with these outfits?



NOTHING QUITE SO IMAGINATIVE AS A RHINESTONED DUNCE CAP WITH A FREE-FROM LUCITE TIARA SPIRALLING AROUND IT!



AND A LUCITE VISOR TRIMMED IN RHINESTONES, WITH A MATCHING BIB? HEAVEN!



MY FREINDS MARTIN AND DIVA AVARI JOINED US. AVARI IS ONE OF MIZERY'S DRAG CHILDREN FROM BOSTON, BUT MOVED TO PARIS TO PURSUE A SINGING CAREER. AFTER A MINOR CLUB HIT 3 YEARS AGO CALLED YOU FUCKING BITCH, SHE'S NOW PROVED HERSELF AS A SINGER WITH A COVER OF YAZOO'S DON'T, WHICH HIT #2 ON THE FRENCH POP CHARTS RECENTLY.



After my gig was over, I moved in with Scott and Erich at a very unusual apartment on the Ile de la Cite which Scott inherited. It was the maid's quarter on the top floor of a home built by Louis Le Vau, the "architecte du Roi" who built the famous Hotel Lambert. (Yeah, I know. I hadn't heard of it either!) My bedroom had a view of the Seine river which was, well, just inseine!

I spent the rest of my 5 days unsucessfully avoiding delectable french desserts, though we did go out one night to B, B et B. This was a gay arab disco where they supposedly played arab house music. Unfortunately, they had switched to that vile reggaeton which I hate. The Folies Pigalle, where the night is held, is where Edith Piaf got her start. I wonder if she'd enjoy reggaeton?



THE SLUT ERICH MEETS UP WITH HIS FRIEND/BEIGE BARTENDER FALCON STAR GREG OF ALL PEOPLE!



It was the last night of Ramadan, so our sexy, exotic (Algerian/French?) guide Mehdi, wasn't sure if the place would be busy or not. But it was packed to the rafters and Bun-Bun was yanked up onstage to judge a strip/dance constest.



AND TO MY DISBELIEF, LARRY TEE WAS THE EMCEE! ACTAULLY HIS NAME IS FOUAD, BUT THERE IS A SLIGHT RESEMBLANCE.



Here are my fellow judges. Proving that shade is international, the gorgeous one in red, who could easily play a king of the Orient in nativity scene, was just as sullen as could be. He grudgingly agreed to a photo, and rolled his eyes at every contestant.



The winner was a fab dancer, who gagge the audience with a sissified, attitudey blend of voguing and crumping.



The french have not really discovered air conditioning and the place was boiling. So we hit the streets for a breath of fresh air. I narrowly averted a suicide car-bombing right outsie the club.



There's nothing like a near-death experince to work up one's appetite. With all the superb cuisine in the city of lights, it's tough to decide. But I always like to eat out at Pussy's.



Of course, The famed MOULIN ROUGE was nearby, so I just had to pose for a photo.

"NICOLE WHO?"



In the park adjacent to the Moulin Rouge, we encountered several horny young men who were visibly enticed by Le Bun-Bun, aka Mademoiselle Lapinette. Just doing my part for international relations.

STEP ASIDE CONDOLEEZZA! IT'S BUN-BUN WHO'S SOOTHING THE MUSLIM EXTREMUSTS--LICKING THEM ONE BY ONE!

STFU!

Barbra's famous "Shut the fuck!" comment up has been sampled and turned into a dancetrack. Everyone is still buzzing over the diva's outburst at a fan who heckled her for the political content in her NYC concert weeks ago. In case you haven't heard--I have a friend who went that night who also claimed that Oprah, Gayle and gay Hollywood power broker Sandy Gallin breezed in together for the show--Barbra immediately apologized for her outburst and then offered any offended republican (?) their money back. Only four left and the crowd roared with approval. What most people don't know is that, sensing she'd won that round, Streisand began to bargain with the hecklers to return only a portion of their money. She then began to count the box office proeeds onstage, long nails clicking as she drooled, and launched into her 70's hit EVERGREEN. She appeared to cum twice as the scent of gefilte fish filled the stadium.

NEW RESPECT FOR PARIS H

PR-INSIDE.COM

The sad thing is that we're getting this gossip from Paris's ex because he has a show to promote, right? He's not "slamming" her drug use because he disapproves, he's just trying to hitch his family's show's wagon to a non-scandal.

ENTERING MY SECOND CHILDHOOD

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NUTS?

Trust me, this gem from will make you feel sane. Thanks to Howie Pyro for this madness!

OUCH!

The truth hurts! Arianna lays it on the line re the Connecticutt Senate race:

"Well, Ned Lamont stands for something. And his opponent, Joe Lieberman, stands for something very different. If the Democratic Party can't look at this race and decide that it needs to unequivocally rally around Lamont, then maybe it really is too confused to govern."

MORE: HUFFPO

FOR HALLOWE'EN INSPIRATIONS

Check out San Fran photog Dan Nicoletta's gallery at THECASTRO.NET, with gay ghetto pics dating back to 1975.

IF YOU LOVE DYNASTY...

Check out this link and click on the pic for a fun catfight: MEAT'N'MORE

MISS UNDERSTOOD'S DISCO POETRY

From Wigstock 1998 on the piers. Miss U looks great (as does the pinwheel backdrop) and her # is insane. I promise I won't post anymore youtube links tonight but I'm jet-lagged, far from home and can't sleep so I figured I'd inflict you with youtube clips gaylore! And what was I thinking in that Mother Goose-a-go-go outfit?

YOUTUBE

DOLLY AND PATTI LOVE SHORTNIN' BREAD

In matching sequinned gowns!

YOUTUBE

GENTLE ON MY MIND

As interpreted by Atlanta's The Singing Peek Sisters. I love how the "audience" is moving more than the performers! Also worth checking out are Deeaundra Peek's solo hits, including DeeeLite's WHAT IS LOVE and RuPaul's SUPERMODEL. SICK!

FEMALE OR SHEMALE?

TAKE THE TESTES TEST AT HEMALEORSHEMALE.COM

ARE YOU MALE OR FEMALE?

LOOK DOWN....












































NOT DOWN HERE, STUPID!

DIDN'T KNOW GRACE JONES HAD A LESBIAN SISTER!

Though I do know her gay brother, Chris, who asists her at shows.

PRIDESOURCE

JON STEWART GOOFS ON BUSH EXPLAINING FOLEY SCANDAL

HUFFPO

GOD HATES FAGS AND THE AMISH

In addition to using military funerals as a backdrop for their anti-gay protests, the freaks at GODHATESFAGS.COM are also rejoicing that those Amish girls were gunned down recently. From their site, here's why:


"On Monday, October 2, 2006, the Lord our God executed some of the judgment that is due to the State
of Pennsylvania in a most amazing fashion. He sent a filthy sexual pervert to the Amish perverts of
america! PERFECT!! With one stroke, our God used this pervert (because america is a nation of
perverts) to execute judgment upon Governor Ed Rendell. This is Rendell of “same-sex-marriage-in-
Philadelphia-under-his-mayorship” fame; of “pass-and-sign-into-law-in-violation-of-his-oath” fame –
a measure that he hoped would stop the servants of the Only Wise God, hoping to shut up the word of
God out of Pennsylvania (NOT – you would have more success abolishing hell); and of “get-on-Fox’s-
‘The-Big-Story’-with-ranting-raving-screeching-banshee-bimbo-Bandares” fame where he in a most
fair and balanced ☺ display, called the prophets everything but children of the Living God. And this
stroke also executed judgment on the state that spawned Albert Snyder, an evil man who was not
content to go to hell quietly after miserably failing his family – he added to his crimes, in that he sued
the servants of the True and Living God, his Creator, who holds the breath of life in His hands and is
the Avenger of all such matters.

And finally this stroke of judgment laid the lying, false, phony, pretentious “religion” of the Amish to
an open shame."

OH MADGE

An open letter to Madonna on her career by Rachel Giese

TEA PARTY

Look out G-Unit! Prep-Unit's rappin' in tha MV (Martha's Vineyard): YOUTUBE

GRAHAM NASH: 1968!

OK, so the video's not that great, but the background singers are fucking amazing! YOUTUBE

This song was written in reference to the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968. The times were very violent, and riots were threatened at the Convention. The mayor of Chicago, Richard Daley, basically told the police to use all necessary force to keep order. They did, with a vengeance. Civil rights and the Vietnam War were major issues, and there were many protesters at the convention. There were lots of arrests, with the police basically beating into submission anyone who had the nerve to speak out.

Chicago/We Can Change the World
Graham Nash


Though your brother's bound and gagged
And they've chained him to a chair
Won't you please come to Chicago
Just to sing
In a land that's known as freedom
How can such a thing be fair
Won't you plaese come to Chicago
For the help we can bring
We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - to get better
Politicians sit yourself down,
There's nothing for you here
Won't you please come to Chicago
For a ride
Don't ask Jack to help you
Cause he'll turn the other ear
Won't you please come to Chicago
Or else join the other side
We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - if you believe in justice
It's dying - and if you believe in freedom
It's dying - let a man live it's own life
It's dying - rules and regulations, who needs them
Open up the door
Somehow people must be free
I hope the day comes soon
Won't you please come to Chicago
Show your face
From the bottom to the ocean
To the mountains of the moon
Won't you please come to Chicago
No one else can take your place
We can change the world -
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - if you believe in justice
It's dying - and if you believe in freedom
It's dying - let a man live it's own life
It's dying - rules and regulations, who needs them
Open up the door
We can change the world

TRIPLE BOO!

80sSKUNKFEST

JANET ATTENDS THE LATEX BALL!

She's got to be one of the sweetest superstars! YOUTUBE

CUTE ANTI-BUSH AD

YOUTUBE

GOD TELLS HIM TO KILL

MIAMI (AFP) - The top US general defended the leadership of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, saying it is inspired by God
"He leads in a way that the good Lord tells him is best for our country," said Marine General Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

No wonder we're losing! God doesn't exist. Rumsfeld, like Bush, is a crazy man, who hears things from an imaginary man upstairs. But what god are they hearing? Surely not the one who commanded THOU SHALT NOT KILL. But I'd guess Rummy would have to look for extraterrestial advisers, since many here on earth, including top military personnel, are calling for his removal!



Does anyone know if Rummy's piousness is a new development, and they're announcing this now to bring the christian right back to the fold after the Foley scandal's scared them away? Anyway you slice it, I'd prefer to have someone with a sharp analysis of military tactics leading the failing fights in Afghanistan and Iraq. Or I guess we shoud just have faith that since god's on our side, we can ignore the solid reports (as these hawks did) that an attack on Iraq would disintegrate into civil war. Faith will also protect our soldiers when lack of appropriate body armor doesn't. And with god's blessing, we can torture, rape and murder Iraqis, like the bums who on 10/18 went on trial for shooting the family of the girl they'd just raped. Here are some excerpts from the CNN report on these assholes.

FORT CAMPBELL, Kentucky (CNN) -- Four U.S. soldiers accused of raping and killing a 14-year-old girl and slaying her sister and their parents will face courts-martial on murder charges, military officials say.

The commander of the 101st Airborne Division has referred murder charges against the soldiers for the alleged crimes that occurred in Mahmoudiya, south of Baghdad, in March. Two of the soldiers could face the death penalty if convicted.

One of the soldiers, 23-year-old Army Spec. James P. Barker, told an Army criminal investigator that after the killings he poured kerosene on the girl's bullet-ridden body, according to testimony in August at a military hearing. The girl's father, mother and five-year-old sister were also killed, according to military officials.

Barker said in an interview that he held the girl down while she was raped by another soldier, Sgt. Paul Cortez, 23, according to Special Agent Benjamin Bierce of the Army's Criminal Investigation Division.

Barker said he then attempted to rape the girl himself, before she was shot to death by former Pfc. Steven D. Green, Bierce said. Green is no longer in the military and faces charges in civilian court.

But, Barker added, he was not sure if he penetrated the girl, because he was having trouble getting an erection.

BUNNY NOTE: Silly boy! He should have prayed for an erection or asked god for viagra!

HEY, I LIKE YOUR PERFUME. WHAT IS IT?

IT'S KEROSENE.

Bierce also testified that Barker admitted pouring kerosene from a lamp onto the girl's body, although it was unclear from the testimony who set the girl on fire.

According to statements given at the hearing, the soldiers were drinking whiskey, playing cards and hitting golf balls when Green brought up the idea of going to a house near the checkpoint where they were stationed, to rape the girl.

Barker described Green as very persistent, Bierce testified. The statements said the five soldiers -- Green, Cortez, Barker, Spielman and Howard -- then changed into dark clothing and covered their faces, before going to the house.

According to Barker, Howard was the lookout and was given a radio to use if anyone approached, Bierce said. The four remaining soldiers then entered the home, at which point the statements from Barker and Cortez about what happened diverge, according to testimony.

Barker told investigators that Cortez pushed the 14-year-old girl to the floor and made "thrusting motions" as Barker held down her hands; then they switched positions, Bierce said.

Sometime during the assault, Barker said he heard gunshots come from the bedroom, where the girl's parents and sister had been taken, and an agitated Green emerged and said he had killed them, Bierce said.

According to Barker, Green then put down the AK-47 he had been carrying and raped the girl, while Cortez held her down, and then picked up the gun and shot her several times, Bierce said.

Green then went into the kitchen and, when he returned, said he had opened the propane tank and they needed to get out of the house because it was about to explode, Bierce said.

However, in his statement to U.S. Army investigators, Cortez denied raping the girl, although he admitted holding her down while Barker raped her, Special Agent Gary Griesmyer testified.

Under questioning, Griesmyer testified there was no evidence Spielman raped or murdered anyone in the house.

Special Agent Michael Hood also said Spielman passed a polygraph test in which he denied shooting or raping anyone. However, in his statement to investigators, Barker put Spielman at the scene and said Spielman grabbed the five-year-old girl outside the house and took her inside, Bierce said.

After the alleged attack, Barker also said the soldiers gave Spielman their clothes to burn and that he threw the AK-47 in a canal, Bierce said.

A sixth soldier, Sgt. Anthony W. Yribe, has been charged with failing to report the alleged rape and killings, but was not alleged to have been a participant.

A soldier's suspicions

Also testifying at the August hearing was a soldier in the same platoon as the accused men, Pfc. Justin Watt, who said he began trying to find out what happened at Mahmoudiya after Yribe confided to him that Green had told Yribe about the rape and killings.

"I wanted to see if I could confirm my suspicions that there were more people involved," Watt said. "I believed there were American forces involved."

Watt said when he asked Howard about what happened, Howard revealed the plan to rape the girl and that his role was to be the lookout. "(Howard) let me know that he ended up seeing a Humvee and calling them back frantically," Watt testified.

Howard also told him that when the other soldiers returned from the house, "Their clothes were covered in blood," Watt said.

After piecing together the details about what happened, Watt said he reported his suspicions to a combat stress team. "If you have the power to make something right, you should do it," Watt said. "Investigation is not my job. But if something went down, something terrible like that, then it's my obligation to come forward."

However, Watt also described the conditions at Mahmoudiya as a "suck-fest," testifying that the soldiers were living in the basement of a "dilapidated, abandoned water treatment facility," and had gone 30 days without a shower.

BUNNY NOTE: Sorry that the US military wasn't able to offer you more deluxe accomodations during the senseless killing spree which you signed up for. And no shower for 30 days? I knew that there were only 2 hours of electricity per day for Iraqi's, but no running water for even a shower. Poor boys. God was rewarding these fine soldiers with a little rape and murder spree--he works in mysterious ways!

He also said the ongoing violence, including the deaths of two soldiers in their unit shortly before the slayings of the Iraqi family, had affected everyone. "I was going to get a memorial tattoo of all the guys (who were killed), but there's not enough room on my arm," Watt said.

Accused has "anti-social personality disorder"

Green, who was discharged from the Army and returned to the United States in May because of an "anti-social personality disorder," is facing rape and murder charges in a civilian federal court. He is being held in a Kentucky jail.

All six men charged are from the 502nd Parachute Infantry Regiment of the 101st Airborne Division, based in Fort Campbell, Kentucky.

There is some confusion over the alleged rape victim's age. Identity cards and death certificates of the victims, which were obtained by Reuters news agency, show the alleged rape victim was Abeer Qassim Hamza al-Janabi, with the birth date August 19, 1991.

BUNNY NOTE: I'll do the math: she's 15 now, 14 when it occurred. Not what is considered a "young woman", as military reports repeatedly claimed.

The mayor of Mahmoudiya confirmed her identity and birth date to CNN. The U.S. military had previously referred to the alleged rape victim as a "young Iraqi woman."

A Justice Department affidavit in the case against Green says investigators estimated her age at about 25, while the U.S. military said she was 20.

Marines face murder charges in separate case

In Camp Pendleton, California, on Wednesday a U.S. Marine general ordered three Marines to stand trial on murder charges in the April killing of an Iraqi man outside Baghdad.

Hallelujah, boys! You're doing god's work! Keep the faith! Would a devout man like Rumsfeld lead you astray? You can bet your life on him...AND YOU'LL LOSE!

CYBERLADYMINISTRIES.COM

CYBER LADY'S ANAL MUSEUM



CYBERLADYMINISTRIES offers hours--ok, minutes--of enjoyment on her site, which includes pix like the one above and soundfiles of some crazy-ass podcasts like this one, called ANOTHER HORRID SHOW. Recommended.

KAREN BLACK'S NEW PETA AD

From EONLINE.COM

LADYBUNNY.NET NOW AWARD-WINNING!

I recently received the prestigious Cybersocket Award for Best Personal Homepage at their 7th annual awards ceremony in Phoenix. And when I say there was some "stiff" competition, I really mean it! Not to toot my own horn, but just look at the winner's in the other categories--wouldn't mind tooting some of their horns!

Surfer's Choice Awards

Best Adult Blog
Gay Porn Blog

Best Adult Novelties Site
Adam Male

Best Adult Video For Ipod (There was a tie)
Dirty Tony
Colt Studio

Best Amateur Video Site
Dirty Boy Video

Best Amateur Webcam
Str8cam

Best Asian Theme Adult Site
Boykakke

Best AVS Site
ManCheck

Best Black Theme Adult Site
ThugBoy

Best Celebrity Site
Male Stars

Best Erotic E-Zine
Just Us Boys

Best Escort Site
Big Cock Society

Best European Theme Adult Site
Men at Play

Best Fetish Site
Boys Pissing

Best Free Adult Site
BananaGuide

Best Hookup Adult Site
Men 4 Sex Now

Best Latin Theme Adult Site
Papi Cock

ANGEL FROM PAPICOCK.com


Best Live XXX Show
Sex Gaymes

Best Mega Site
Badpuppy

Best New Adult Site
Blake Mason

Best Original Content
Randy Blue

Best Original Theme Site
You Love Jack

Best Personal Homepage
Lady Bunny

Best Porn Star Site
Pierre Fitch

Best Reality Site
Straight College Men

Best Video Company Site
Raging Stallion

Best Video/DVD Retail Site
Adam Male

Best VOD Site
NakedSword

Best Voyeur Site
Live Twinks Cam

ELLEN ALMOST GETS PENETRATED!

By a massive snake! Luckily, the anaconda is a girl!

HELL HOUSE AND OTHER HORRORS

If you're in NYC, you have until 10/29 to catch HELL HOUSE at St. Ann's Warehouse in Brooklyn. If you're not in NYC, maybe you can find the documentary of the same name from several years ago. HELL HOUSE is a christian-themed House of Horrors which Jerry Falwell developed in the late 70's. You see, evangelicals don't approve of the celebration of the old pagan holiday Hallowe'en--hell, they even think HARRY POOTER is sinful--so they've substituted the traditional ghouls and zombies with scenes of abortions and fags with AIDS to scare you back to the path of righteousness. But if failed abortions and AIDS-riddled fags scared me that much, I wouldn't have been able to watch half of the drag performers in NYC!

But at HELL HOUSE I was shrieking all right--with laughter! As were my cohorts Lahoma, Lurleen, Ryan Landry and David Ilku of Duelling Bankheads fame. We met Beelzebub, Jesus, Prince HIV, a gay couple who were joined in unholy matrimony, some hipsters who were too cool for Jesus and a gurgling Terri Schiavo. At one point, gigantic tongs (aluminum foil-covered boards) appear to snatch a fetus and everyone gets splashed with fake blood. (The "script" apparently offers pointers on which cuts of meat look most like an aborted baby.) The showstopper? In hell, you pass by many actors in vignettes lamenting their moral downfall. One is a prissy Broadway queen in a tux singing some god-awful show tune! Hilarious! Get stoned and check out this insanity. Of course, in NYC, it's presented as a joke, though some audience members claim to have been genuinely freaked out. It's bizarre to imagine that sincere productions are still regularly mounted around the country.



But they can't be as scary as the freaks who run and attend JESUS CAMP, the documentary about which I'd say is a must-see. To watch close-ups of children's innocent faces speaking in tongues is more demonic than any hellions from Hell House. Let's see, the organizers of this camp spirit the kids out to the woods (a la a witch's coven), encourage them to speak in tongues as if they were possessed, and then trot out a foamcore effigy of George Bush to be praised? Wouldn't that be the false idolatry that the bible denounces? These people are a mess. And the head honcho? He meets with president Bush each Monday to map out Armageddon. The evangelicals actively seek to entertwine church and state and 75% of the kids who are home-schooled are evangelicals, who want to spirit the kids away before they are exposed to new-fangled, salacious concepts like Darwin's theory of evolution or stem-cell research or abortions for rape victims. JESUS CAMP also shows how evangelists trick the kids by making christian music which doesn't actually mentioning god or the father in the song's lyrics, and by making use of popular if unlikely musical influences from rap and heavy metal. Um, aren't the three predominant themes in rap, thug, 'ho and bling? Very pious. And isn't the black clothing, skull imagery and dark sound of heavy metal the direct opposite of Jesus's light? Through tricks like this, christian music sales are up 300%. Scared yet? I was, but then I did read an article somewhere about how young evangelicals are leaving the church in droves. And they're leaving on witches' brooms.



And speaking of witches! Tangella Deville, a rare, early Pyramid Club drag diva who is featured in the original WIGSTOCK: THE MOVIE by Tom Rubnitz which is now on YOUTUBE in 4 parts, sent me this frightful link. (Although maybe I'm more frightful in my opening number of the first Wigstock--see why I don't wear flat wigs anymore?)

They even have their own rainbow flag logo dripping with blood! A sample of what it's all about in their own words:

QueerHorror.com is a site devoted to exploring the horror genre and its inclusion of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered. It's a place where queer folk can explore their interests in, or connections with, the horror genre.

The connection between queers and horror is a very strong one. By many homophobes, we are seen as the villains in horror; corrupting families, spreading plagues and destroying the moral fabric of society. However, we know ourselves to be much more the heros in horror, trying to fight to overcome almost impossible odds while always knowing that there is an evil presence out there that wishes to destroy us, no matter what the cost.

Hungh?

Anyhoo, I got a head start on Sin Season performing at Richmond, VA's gay pride festivities a couple weeks ago:



Bunion made front page news, though the reviews were somewhat mixed! Hey, a video clip of my act is loaded onto my site for a reason. You view it, you determine if it's appropriate for your crowd, and if so, you book it. If it's too trashy for you, then decide right then. I do have different Laugh-In routines and will sometimes prune out the filthiest jokes for an all ages crowd. But no one suggested I censor myself for this venue.

FROM THE RICHMOND SUNDAY TIMES-DISPATCH:

Gay event pushes city's envelope
People at Richmond's pride festival call for understanding, respect

"If the political conversations at the Gay Pride Virginia Festival didn't move people, the upbeat and often-vulgar musical medley from drag artist Lady Bunny probably did the trick.

In clear platform heels, a sparkly dress and sky-high blond hair, Lady Bunny's voice carried over the crowd that filled the 17th Street Farmers' Market yesterday afternoon.

Brian Boyce watched the audience laugh, saying the act pushed the envelope a little bit, especially for Richmond. Still, he would have liked to have seen a stronger turnout, and he attributed it partly to some people being afraid to show up at such an event in a conservative city."

MORE: TIMESDISPATCH

THANKS TO THIS "GAL", I DIDN'T GET A STANDING OVATION. I'M TEASING--THAT'S ONE OF MY MYSPACE GIRLFRIENDS WHO BROUGHT ME A DIVINE FAKE CHANEL LIPSTICK WHICH WHEN SWITCHED ON, MAGICALLY TURNS INTO A PERSONAL FAN!



However, one reviewer wasn't too thrilled with the show:

FROM THE TIMES-DISPATCH ON WEDNESDAY:

"Speaking of gay pride, where is it?

The special guest of the public, outdoor event at Richmond's 17th Street Farmers' Market was the outrageous New York City drag queen Lady Bunny.

As the festival's Web site promised, "The multi-talented Diva and Wigstock founder will serve as the event's MC and deliver an exclusive performance you won't want to miss!"

The "exclusive performance," broadcast over the PA system and heard by children, included an ode to a bodily fluid based on a Broadway tune, a ditty about pedophilia borrowed from an Elton John song and a vulgar version of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly With His Song."

Lady Bunny, who has a very sweet voice, sang about cocaine-fueled gay sex quite graphically.

Clever? Definitely. Funny? Maybe in a club setting.

Festival attendee Brian Boyce cautioned Times-Dispatch reporter Olympia Meola that "we're not all about random sex acts. We're about life, love, the pursuit of happiness. What our Founding Fathers wanted us to have."

Well, George Washington did wear a wig."

READ THE REST: TIMESDISPATCH

He cites the US's moral bankruptcy as exemplified by Anna Nichole Smith's wedding 3 weeks after her son died and daughter was born as a good reason for muslims to despise us.

And for the record, though I glad you think I have a "sweet voice", I never sang about cocaine-fueled sex. (I only performed it with children in the dressing room tent.)



As Whitney Houston, I did light up a crackpipe, but there was no mention of sex and coke together. I have standards! And really, the reporter could have come up with better examples of vulgarity--the gerbil I pull out of my ass to the tune of Tamia's THERE'S A STRANGER IN MY ASS, perhaps? Guilty as charged, I'm vulgar!

And like Miss Mark Foley, I've checked into rehab for alcoholism and related, behavioral issues. I might as well tell you now that I'm a gay American. Oh, AND, also like Mark, I was abused as a child. From what other source could such a twisted act as a mine ever evolve? The abuse was so traumatic for me--when it stopped! I was devastated and wanted more!

LIKE FLIP WILSON (WHICH GUARDS CALLED FLOTILLA DURING HER BRIEF STINT IN JAIL!), THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!



Anyhoo, Virginia's still part of the bible belt and a few christian protesters showed up to sour the festival. (Damn it! That was MY job!) I cheerily thanked them all for coming and posed for a few pix like the ones at the top of the post. But really, I don't believe in god, but do you see me picketing your fucking church bake sales? (Only when their prices are too high.)

I even made it into a sermon --they are presenting a video to the Richmond city council and hope to bring charges against me! If you care to listen, it's roughly halfway through the sermon's file. But you guys already knew that I'm the devil, didn't you?

I shared the bill with a lovely creature named Shawna, who performed a showstopper from some brand new Broadway musical. I tell you, these out-of-towners know Broadway shows better than us New Yorkers, who are too busy hustling for that landlord to buy many $100 theater tickets.

SHAWNA--SHE'S A TITLE-HOLDER: AMERICA'S TOP BOTTOM!



The stage show broke for a fashion show beside the 17th Street Farmer's market, and the crowd lined up to watch the models strut their funky stuff.



This gal wasn't on the runway, but should have been with that pose.



There are some very real-looking trannies in Richmond, ranging in looks from well-scrubbed, respectable Southern white women to muthafuckin' Hazel realness.





Sirena Sparkles added a little Radical Faerie flava!



MS. PEACHES



Ms. Peaches here is only 19 and she's sporting an inspired hairdo which teeters on a very thin line between high fashion and the ladies who worked at the lunch counter at my grade school. To use your own hair and then sculpt it with gel is not a look I could ever pull off, but maybe it could be considered lesbian chic, if such a thing as lesbian chic existed. KIDDING, my yke sisters! Peaches emailed my site asking if I'd put up her pic and asked for some drag advice. So here's a little tip: avoid posing next to a trash can! Go ahead and get in it!

THE RETURN OF ROZZIE ROZ!



Though I don't imagine that this will interest too many of you, your yawns will most definitely be drowned out by the screams of Atlanta old-timers who see this gal for the first time in decades. She was my roomate in Atlanta circa 1983 and she pretty much looks the same. Roz was the funky black chic on the alternative rock scene which centered around Larry Tee and Lahoma's genius old band, THE NOW EXPLOSION.

YOUTUBE now has a clip of Lahoma and a shapely young Bun lip-synching to one of THE NOW EXPLOSION'S biggest hits, STUFF, with vox by Elouise Montague and The Lady Clare, one of my early mentors in sow business.

THE NOW EXPLOSION'S LADY CLARE



IT WAS A REAL MIND-FUCK TO HEAR A VIRGINIA DRAWL COME OUT OF THIS PUERTO RICAN CUTIE'S MOUTH. PERSONALLY I'D PREFER AN ASS-FUCK, BUT THESE DAYS, I TAKE WHAT I CAN GET!



AND WHO THE HECK NEEDS VIRGINIA HAM WITH ALL THIS YUMMY BEEF? VIRGINIA REALLY IS FOR LOVERS!



But back to Hallowe'en! The holiday is so sinful that we gays call it "Gay Christmas." And speaking of Christmas, look what J.C. Penney's has just come out with in time for your holiday shopping: THE CAROL CHANNING VENTRILOQUIST'S PUPPEY! It's for ages 3 and up, but do "kids" even 30 remember Carol? I hope so, and pray that I hear "Raspberies!", her insane line from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE, rasping out of strollers in the near future. Some demonic fag must've dreamt up these dolls for J C Penney's as a way to indoctrinate the young'ns with seemingly harmless gay show biz icons! First step Carol, next step meth orgies of Sodom!

BRITNEY'S NEW PERFUME

(CLICK ON PIC TO ENLARGE.)

THE MAURY PO'BITCH SHOW

Comedian(ne) Benji Brown in a funny parody skit called YOU DA DADDY

Unfortunately, as this next clip shows, the real Maury show is perhaps even more pitiful: YOUTUBE

MICHAEL T DOC

Catch this short doc on the promoter/performer/host of still-thriving NYC rock club night MOTHERFUCKER. It features a cameo by yours trolly, along with Theo, Milan and other hags of the alternative rock scene.

YOUTUBE

A NOTE FROM MADGE'S BABY

KISS MY BLACK ORPHANED ASS YOU OLD WHORE! This is scathing and hilarious!

WIPE WEDDING

Check out the winners of the TOILET PAPER WEDDING DRESS CONTEST!

CHEAP-CHIC-WEDDINGS

LIZA AND DAVID PILOT

Their unfortunately cancelled VH-1 pilot is on youtube! Includes guests Tina Knowles, Sandra Bernhard and Liza's young godson doing repeated Liza impersonations! Hurry and watch cuz these will be yanked soon!


Part One:
YOUTUBE

Part Two:
YOUTUBE

Part Three:
YOUTUBE

LATEST E. COLI VICTIM

I'M BACK!

My hateful computer died a week ago and I've just gotten it back today. I've been a little suicidal because my hard drive deteriorated and of course, being a world-class procrstinator, I've hardly ever backed up anything. (One funny friend suggested that I approach the department of Homeland Security, since they can retrieve anything.) So I thought I'd drown my sorrows by hitting the town. On Tuesday night, I decided to haul my mangy ass out and pretend that I was still fun. Since HX, the local fag rag, was celebrating their 15 year anniversary with a "three-hour tour" and my friend Bubba de Houston was in town to catch Barbra Streisand the preceding night, we made a long night of it and caught all of the haunts I've been missing on Tuesdays, which seems to be the NYC insider's night to party.

TRAN OVERBOARD: CARMELLA CANN GREETED US IN A SUMPTUOUS FUR, WHICH PROVES NOT ONLY THAT SHE CAN SEW, BUT THAT GLUE TRAPS DO EFFECTIVELY CATCH RODENTS.



HX PUBLISHER MATTHEW BANK WITH SOME UNIDENTIFIED PETER--NOT PETER HEMMEL, HIS HUBBY



HX'S DELIGHTFUL EDITOR TRAY BUTLER (INSERT ASS-LICKING, SLURPING, SUCKING, SCMOOZING SOUND EFFECTS HERE.)



MISSTRESS FORMIKA WITH LUSCIOUS DJ LINA



THIS OLD SCHOOL FAVORITE (WHO WILL KILL ME FOR NOT REMEMBERING HER NAME) DREW CHEERS WITH THIS COMPLICATED VOGUING-UPSIDE-DOWN-IN-A-CHAIR MOVE. UNPERTURBED BY THE MOTION OF THE OCEAN, SHE TOOK TO THE BOAT'S ROCKING LIKE, SHALL WE SAY, A "FISH" TO WATER?



DJ Girlina--oops, I mean Lina! She chopped off the "Gir" when she chopped off her nose--knows just what to play to get my old ass on the floor, spinning such classics as MAW/India's BACKFIRED and Incognito's NIGHTS OVER EGYPT, a cover of The Jones Girls' down-tempo r&b classic. It's so rare to hear good music that in my excitement, I managed to bust one move which dumped the contents of HX publisher Matthew Bank's wineglass all over him and co-owner Mark Berkley. A born networker, I am! Anyhoo, Matthew was looking dynamite having lost 70 pounds, so I daresay he could withstand a wet t-shirt contest. What's a little wine gonna hurt? And that was the least of the evening's drama. As we pulled up to shore, the maitre de' asked me to jump up and entertain for a moment since someone had been punched out and the doors of the boat couldn't be opened until the police arrived. And Miss Flotilla wasn't even on de Barge. (Bubba was running around claiming, in a reference to Flo's recent assault with her deadly high heel, that Flotilla's life story had been optioned by "Spike" Lee.) I'm told the victim was Len Evans, the publicist for recent bashing victim Kevin Aviance--who just appeared on Tyra. (It's on youtube.) HX sure knows how to throw a "bash" and I know I'll be eagerly awaiting the next issue for the scoop on the latest gay beef. Whatever happened to the docile, sissified gays of yesteryear? I guess they got their asses beat so many times that they stay at home now!

THE LOVELY AND SWEET PEPPERMINT WITH HER STUNNING ESCORT



THE HORRID AND EVIL PEPPERMINT AFTER I'D DELIGHTED HER STUNNING ESCORT BY COYLY TWIRLING MY DENTURES ON MY FINGER WHILE SUBTLY BECKONING HIM TOWARDS THE OUTER DECK



THE ALWAYS JOLLY ROBIN BYRD ORDERING ME TO WALK THE PLANK. IS THAT VIDEO CAMERA IN HER HAND AN INDICATION OF NEW SHOWS ON THE WAY?



NO SHORTAGE OF APPETIZERS ON BOARD



THE FAVA BEAN APPETIZER SENT ME INTO A DEMENTED ANTHONY HOPKINS IN SILENCE OF THE LAMBS IMPERSONATION. THE ADMITTEDLY POOR IMPERSONATION (HE'S MUCH YOUNGER THAN I) IMPROVES IMMEASURABLY IF YOU IMAGINE THAT FAMOUS SLITHERING TONGUE SOUND EFFECT.



THOUGH NOTHING ON THE MENU WAS QUITE SO TANTALIZING AS THE TUBE STEAK AND EGGS SERVED BY LUCAS ENTERTAINMENT'S NEW DISCOVERY, BEN ANDREWS. AND SO FILLING, TOO!



PERHAPS YOU WON'T NOTICE THAT MY MUG IS GREASIER THAN A MECHANIC'S AT QUITTING TIME IF I IMMEDIATELY OFFER YOU A FULL-LENGTH SNAP OF THE IMPRESSIVE ANDREWS FAMILY JEWELS. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO GET ME FOR XMAS!



BEN'S FACE AIN'T TOO BAD EITHER, AS SEEN HERE WITH BUBBA AND HIS BIG BOSS MAN MICHAEL LUCAS.



LUCKY FOR BEN, I HAD ALREADY SET MY SIGHTS ON THIS INTOXICATING TWO-FISTER BEHIND THE BAR.



IF YOU SQUINT, YOU CAN SEE LADY LIBERTY BEHIND LADY LIBATED.



THEN IT WAS OFF TO BEIGE, ERICH CONRAD'S STILL PACKED WEEKLY AFFAIR. KUDOS TO ERICH FOR BEIGE AND HIS SUNDAYS AT MARITIME, AND FOR ANSWERING HIS PHONE WHEN I CALLED TO MAKE A RESERVATION WITH A CHEERY "JIHAD." SEEN HERE BLITHERING DRUNK WITH PHOTOG JOSH JORDAN, ERICH, AND JIMMY JAMES. AT THIS POINT, I'M CHANNELING LEONA HELMSLEY.



I AM CERTAIN THAT MOST OF THE CLASSY READERS OF MY BLOG WILL WANT TO IGNORE THIS PHOTO OF SUPREME MALE BEAUTY, BUT I"LL LEAVE IT UP TO APPEASE ANY TRASH WHO MAY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY TO MY SITE.



NO, I DIDN'T DO A COSTUME CHANGE AT BEIGE. THIS BUXOM BEAUTY IS EGYPTIAN TEMPTRESS SULTANA, "RAISIN" HELL!



AFTER AMUSING MICHAEL LUCAS BY SCRATCHING MY PHONE # ONTO A NAPKIN FOR THE BATHROOM ATTENDANT--HEY WE CAN'T ALL BE HIGH CLASS HOOKERS!--SOMEHOW WE MADE IT TO SUZANNE BARTSCH'S HAPPY VALLEY, WHERE WE RAN INTO MY ASIAN TWIN JUN AND EXOTIC BEAUTY KAYVON.



THEN IT WAS ONTO THE COCK FOR THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS MONA FOORT'S B'DAY. MONA WAS GONE, BUT THE COCK WAS GOING STRONG. BY THE WAY, THE COCK'S MOVED INTO THE HOLE! THE REST OF THE NIGHT WAS A BLUR OF HOLOGRAPHIC SEQUINS IN TOILET STALLS. AH, THE GLAMOUR OF IT ALL! COMING UP NEXT WEEK, A TOUR OF MANHATTAN'S EMERGENCY ROOMS.

PUN AND PUNNER

MORE GROANERS FROM ALEXANDRA VON RAISIN!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"!

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't – I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to
a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to her friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

BIRDS AND BEES: GAY?

OSLO (Reuters) - The birds and the bees may be gay, according to the world's first museum exhibition about homosexuality among animals.

With documentation of gay or lesbian behavior among giraffes, penguins, parrots, beetles, whales and dozens of other creatures, the Oslo Natural History Museum concludes human homosexuality cannot be viewed as "unnatural."

MORE: YAHOO

CRYING IN THE DARK

A video of a new wave rarity by Angel Bowie and Chico Rey, sent to me by Kabuki Starshine. Not for everyone's taste, I'm sure, but Angie's nails are to die for!

YOUTUBE

8 STEPS TO STRESS REDUCTION

Just in case you've had a rough day, here's an eight-step stress management
technique recommended in the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is
that it really works.


1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic world.

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

8. See? You're smiling already.

ALEXIS DEL LAGO

One of the Pyramid Club's rarest of divas, Alexis Del Lago, now has her very own website. Now residing in LA where she runs a vintage dress shop named The Scarlett Empress, Alexis harks back to the days of Club 82, where she was billed as "The Male Dietrich." A girlfriend of Holly Woodlawn, she also rubbed elbows with the Warhol set and makes a unforgettable--believe me, I tried--appearance in that recent Jackie Curtis documentary.

ALEXIS DEL LAG) AS "THE MALE DIETRICH"

TOOTIE'S BONG

Why do I worship Charlote Rae? Her early Sid and marty Krofft appearances, maybe?

YOUTUBE

40 YEARS AGO TODAY

LSD WAS MADE ILLEGAL.

FRANKIE GOES TO DYNASTY

DYNASTY THE REUNION catfight between Alexis and Krystal mixed with TWO TRIBES by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Campy! Love it when Joan half-hearted attempts to strangle Linda with a feather boa. And how the hell does Miss Collins keep her wig on with Miss Evans pulling her around by it? (Maybe I should ask Flotilla!) Joan DID wear a wig or at least pieces as Alexis, right?

YOUTUBE

THE DAVE HILL EXPLOSION

SANDRA BERNHARD JOINED DAVE HILL AT THE UPRIGHT CITIZEN'S BRIGADE THEATER LAST NIGHT



Dave's other guest included singer/songwriter Joan as Policewoman and a Michael Jackson-impersonating dwarf, who brought down the house. The house was already pretty low the second the star made his priceless entrance. Dave's addled loser persona (I know, he stole my act!) was the perfect foil for Sandra's alternately kooky and bitter rants on everthing to her tiff with Star Jones to the producers of her last one-woman show in NYC. Fresh from A CHORUS LINE's opening night in a $2,200 suit with a busted zipper--"Should I just go ahead and just let a dildo hang out of it?"--Sandra was burning to sing and dance, and my favorite part of the night--besides a gory, mock ad for Tide detergent--was Dave's purposefully pathetic tribute song which listed all of her TV and film appearances from KINGS oF COMEDY to ROSEANNE to THE VIEW. Sandra jumped up and danced a free-form jig as she briefly acted out each role Dave mentioned in his tribute. What a troopa!

PS: I am aware that the above pic is pitifully blurry but the others are worse, so fuck off! Or perhaps you'd prefer one of my other winning shots of Dave's hot strip show/ theme song?



Dave Hill explodes once a month and rumor has it that Bun-Bun may hop by for his December guest spot. Check his DAVEHILLONLINE.COM for updates on all of his shows. Highly recommended!

THE VIEW GETS A CLUE

VIA HUFFPO: Rosie attacks pope over clergy sex scandal. Claims Benedict XVI covered up priest misconduct for decades. Go on, sister! I don't watch THE VIEW but in the one clip I did see, tha bull-dkye was bulldozing the other hosts and KillJoy Behar was, for once, at a loss for words. I like her a lot more as defiant, out lesbian than the goofy show-tune singin' fat straight girl with a feigned crush on Tom Cruise.

BUNSTER ON DUNST

Check out the new cover article for NEXT magazine, in which I interview Kirsten Dunst on her upcoming film MARIE ANTOINETTE. See what happens when two wigged-out queens get to chattin'!

AND DRINK SOME CHERRY WINE

The much ridiculed WE DON'T HAVE TO TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF, by Jermaine Stewart, was one of my favorite 80's pop-soul hits. Jermaine was a former SOUL TRAIN dancer who is now deceased. Question: is his gorgeous, straight, side-part bob called a "french perm"?

Other videos on youtube include the campy THE WORD IS OUT (a gay hint?) and SAY IT AGAIN.

RIP TAMARA DOBSON

THE BLAXPLOITATION GODDESS SEEN BITCH-SLAPPING SHELLY WINTERS (!) IN CLEOPATRA JONES (1973)

JEFF GANNON TO MEET RANDI RHODES

TODAY! This oughta improve AIR AMERICA'S ratings. Jeff's military training has certainly given him bravery, to face that battle-axe with all he's done to pervert the news. Expect fireworks. DETAILS

GOP=GRAND OLD PEDOPHILES

FROM THE HUFFPO VIA A READER, CHRIS.

This is a round-up of republican pedophiles from the comments section of a Huffington Post, uh, post by Stephen Elliot. Obviously unverified and not from a new agency (or should that make it more credible?), but I did google a couple and those were correct. But if only half is true, the length of one half of the full list is shocking. Especially the last one. Who "gets to" perform the child rape in Iraqi prisons Rummy authorized?

Republican Congressman Mark Foley abruptly resigned from Congress after "sexually explicit" emails surfaced showing him flirting with a 16-year old boy.

Republican executive Randall Casseday of the conservative Washington Times newspaper was arrested for soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl on the internet.

Republican chairman of the Oregon Christian Coalition Lou Beres confessed to molesting a 13-year old girl.

Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

Republican petition drive manager Tom Randall pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 14, one of them the daughter of an associate in the petition business.

Republican County Chairman Armando Tebano was arrested for sexually molesting a 14-year-old girl.

Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.

Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.

Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

Republican Mayor Tom Adams was arrested for distributing child pornography over the internet.

Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was sentenced to six years in prison for molesting two 8-year old girls, one of whom appeared in an anti-Gore television commercial.

Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Republican campaign chairman Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child and was arrested again five years later on the same charge.

Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Republican legislator Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl.

Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.

Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

Republican campaign worker, police officer and self-proclaimed reverend Steve Aiken was convicted of having sex with two underage girls.

Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer.

Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency.

How's that? And these are just the ones who have gotten caught...so far. Stayed tuned, Truth Seekers.

YOU GO, GAULTHIER!

THIS WAS FORWARDED TO ME--AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier found his own way to comment on the 'size zero' debate - by putting a larger model down the catwalk to show off his clothes.

Dressed in a daring black corsetry, the plus-sized model dwarfed her fellow waif-like catwalk queens.
Clearly more of a size 20 than the controversial model Size 0, this voluptuous woman proved big is beautiful as she strutted down the runway at Gaultier's 30th anniversary show yesterday during fashion week in Paris.

MADONNA AND CHILD

A must-see pic from The Wow Report

FOLEY SCHMOLEY

Hi! My name is Bunny and I'm very, very bitter today? Why you ask? Well...

Now Foley claims to be gay. Guess what, you fudgepacker wannabe, WE GAYS DON'T CLAIM YOU! Neither do we alcoholics! BURP! VOMIT! LOL! And the nerve of Foley's lawyer announcing that his client was molested by an unidentified clergyman when aged 13-15. "He continues to offer no excuse for his conduct," the lawyer claims, but as so often happens, the pattern of abuse repeats itself. But he's not a pedophile. Hungh? So what pattern repeats itself? If abuse creates abusers, how did Foley become, not a sicko pedophile, but a harmless, garden variety gay? Like that cute, dancing, dyke Ellen Degeneres. The spokesman made sure to announce that "he continues to offer no excuse for his conduct", followed his excuse: his own abuse. To echo some of your insightful comments on my last Foley post, whatever the reason, be it Ellen, Queer Eye, RuPaul, Dame Edna, Mrs. Doubtfire or just plain evolution (for those who don't dispute Darwin), the notion that gays are child molesters seems to have faded from common "knowledge." I didn't write down the sources, but two different talk show hosts (both admittedly liberal) cited statistics of 98% of child abuse occurs when straight men fool around with underage girls within their own family. Dammit! And I only had one sister who was older!

Mabe he is gay who just dabbles in pedophilia. A Florida paper, the PALM BEACH POST, discusses his very poorly kept secret.

Other Foley revelations which let you know how magical the world is today, friend!

Huffpo reported that Foley's now famous screen name, Maf54, was still trolling the internet on Tuesday from rehab! I know, he coul be contacting family members for support. Young, male family members' members.

Matt Drudge blamed the pages for "egging the Congressman on." "There are 16 and 17 year old beasts." The blog FIREDOGLAKE.COM queeniously dubs the scandal LA CAGE AUX FOLEY!

Foley's brother-in-law never recalls him having a drinking problem. And Foley's guidance counselor with whom he's remained close since his teen years, never once recalled Foley mentioning any hanky-panky with a clergyman.

Two pages have now stepped forward to reveal their own sexual emails with Foley and a non-sexual get together at his pad. Both were 17 at the time. I continue to think that based on my own active sex life from years before that age, unconsummated, online smut talk with a 17 year old does not a pedophile make. I even asked my therapist, "Do you feel that my having sex from an early age might have screwed ME up?" He just laughed and said "Not as long it remained in your family." I'm so gald that NAMBLA offers free counseling in NYC!

How rich is this? Foley could almost be prosecuted under the child protection act which he himself pushed through the House. So he really knows the "ins and outs" of abuse, if you know what I mean. So great to have had him as our kid's horndog--I mean watchdog!

Kirk Fordham, the second head to roll as the chant for Speaker Dennis Hastert's own guillotine grows louder, offered ABC an exclusive deal: a Foley resignation exclusive in exchange for ABC not to air the most explicit of the email messages. Thankfully, ABC said no! Isn't that proof of how desperate the GOP is to contain the damage? So they get one major network not to air ALL the transcripts. I wonder what the other networks were offered? And I wonder, as the ruling party overextends it's energies to scramble and spin the page scandal and Condi's latest lie with most of our troops and reserves deployed overseas in a flop war, who the hell is going to protect us should some terrorist attack occur? Am I being a total alarmist or does this resonate with anyone else? Is Rove's promised October surprise a cute li'l ol' anthrax attack, which'd be more widespread than their first, individual mailers? Chertoff just yesterday ok'ed inspection of US-bound cargo in foreign ports. So glad that the head of national security trusts muslims who despise us to inspect our imports. Oh well, I'm sure some corporation got a pretty penny out of the deal an that's all that counts.

CNN interviewed a female page on Tuesday night who said she knew of no sexual rumors concerning the representative. Well, why would you, honey? Foley don't like fish! Great investigative journalism by CNN, The Most Busted Name In News.

Not the most busted. In a supreme example of how gullible market researchers have determined Americans to be or how desperate the repubs are to spin this catastrophe or both, according to AIR AMERICA's Randi Rhodes, at least 3 times on Monday night, FOX "NEWS" put "Democrat" under Foley's photo as his party affiliation! As The Goddess of Radio opined months ago, again and again this administration and it's henchmen in the media have tested us to see if we are paying attention to their shameful antics or calling them on it. And guess what? WE AIN'T!

A caller phoned into Randi's show Tuesday to mention that in 2001, when graduating pages were warned about the representative's probable advances, ONLY THE REPUBLICAN PAGES WERE WARNED. Randi seemed to be aware of that report. Talk about partisan politics and politicizing everything! We, the GOP values voters, don't mind a little child abuse as long as it doesn't affect our party's kids. Democratic kids? Abuse away!

Of course, Miss Rhodes is having a field day with this on AIR AMERICA. As always, she flying with unbelievably dead-on points which are so well-expressed. One discussed Hastert's being accused of gross negligence. "It's gross alright", but it's not, she says, just negligence, it's an active cover-up. It's so delicious to watch republicans unravel over this. Someone commented that the democrats haven't made the most of the scandal. What's the use? Just sit back and watch the Grand Old Pedophiles of the GOP hang themselves. And I imagine that ANYTHING dems say on this would be turned against them by the loathsome, if brilliant propagandists in the Bush administration. The same spinmeisters who made us believe that a president whose response to 9/11 was to read a PET GOAT book is somehow strong on defense. Or that a decorated war hero like Kerry was a flip-flopping coward who couldn't protect us the way a draft-dodging alcoholic failure could.

Randi seems to be going out on a limb with one theme. She's painting the Foley scandal as one sympton of an especially dark, sadistic GOP. I'm not sure I follow her on this one. She's tying together all these threads:

Jeff Gannon, the military-themed prostitute who had unusual access to the White House and a day job to ask easy questions in press conferences for a ficticious new agency created by the administration.



The homo-erotic torture methods from Abu Ghraib. I didn't see them as erotic personally, but they did involve nudity, lots of boy contact and some anal action. On a totally separate note, come to think of it, an Abu Ghraib torturee would make a simple, dirt cheap, and immediately recognizeable Hallowe'en costume. Fashion a black plastic bag or fabric into a dunce cap and poncho, smear on some feces, and a few wires on your hands and your "Gay Christmas" ensemble is complete!! I know what you're thinking! I know how tough the economy is nowadays. People just don't have he money for costumes this year. Helpful hint: just add wires to your recycled Tawana Brawley costume!

The fact that George Bush, Senior, sat with a member of the Bin Laden family and watched 9/11.

There are a few other (probably better and more eloquently expressed examples which I can't recall), but Randi's point is that the Bush administration is really flaunting their perversity in our faces and snickering while daring us to call them on it. Perhaps Randi is sensationalizing this to keep listeners on edge and returning. Apparently, AIR AMERICA is in financial trouble. They switched their dial position (I don't know what else to call it) in NYC, and though they've always featured odd regular advertisers like Ovaltine, they're now advertising a rentable reggae/dancehall space and Jamaican meat patties, with an announcer whose accent is so strong that patties is pronounced "pwotiss". Are there that many Jamaican listeners on AIR AMERICA or is the station scrounging for ads? Or are these "pwotiss" so damned delicious that they can be enjoyed by anyone with an open mind...and an open bottle of Kaopectate? When I think of Jamaicans, enlightenment and progressive politics don't come to mind first. Apologies to all enlightened Jamaicans, but a lot of your people did kinda throw down the glove to my people. I walked around the jewelry district with Linda Simpson recently, and 3 guys razzed us, one with "batty boy"--the "boy" part hurt the most--and two who actually made shooting noises! Try Jah gun replaces Try Jah love for faggots. My point is: AIR AMERICA. Use it or lose it. Hell, I'm even going to try to patronize their sponsors just to keep them on the air. Tonight I promise I'll choke down a spicy mystery meat Jamaican patty with some vitamin-rich Ovaltine while checking the futures of the gold I bought from Randi herself.

But now, how on earth did I scoot all the way from republicans over to homophobic gun-owners? What a stretch! Anyhoo, the last thing I'll mention about the pages is that a former page, now a professor of law at Georgetown U, was interviewed on CNN last night. He has a plan to re-vamp the page system, rejecting a freshly proposed plan to do away with pages altogether, which is a time-homored tradition entering it's 3rd century. To his credit, CNN anchor John Roberts highlighted the upside down notion that we're supposed to trust Congress to create legislation to protect our children, but we can't even trust legislators to be around teen assistants without molesting them. They went on to discuss how easy it was for a congressman to gain influence over pages, since it's quite exciting for a high school student to receive a personal email from an elected official. And they're right! But how horrid, to abuse the trust of a young, impressionable, earnest teen who wants to contribute to this nation's great democracy! Unless they're a republican page, of course, in which case they're a slimy, power-hungry bottom-feeder who's clawing their way to the top of the Bad Ol' Boy network.

But hey! Thanks for stopping by and glad I could cheer you up! --B

HAROLD HUNTER DAY

In honor of the skateboarding icon from the movie KIDS, who passed away earlier this year. Don't ask me why what the connection was between a notoriously well-hung skateboarder and a mature transvestite showgirl. Or why it was Linda Simpson, an even maturer showgirl, who sent me this invite!

MARTHA DASH AND SARAH WASH

JUST TESTING YOU!



Both of the supersized divas will appear in GALS TOO BIG FOR BROADWAY! COMING SOON TO THE BEACON THEATER> THE 19th - 21st October

The synopsis sounds funny: "When a Broadway icon is tossed from a show for being overweight, she calls on the help of two friends to set things straight! Starring Martha Wash, Sarah Dash, and Judy Peterson."

Sounds fab to me! I'll be out of town for the whole run but let me know how it was if you see it!

BRINI, CHO AND CHOCOLATE FONDUE!

Brini Maxwell's TV show on the Style network may be off the air, but her lovely website is going strong with new video podcasts. Currently, you can learn to make the perfect matzoh balls with Brini's delightful sidekick Mary Ellen. And this Friday, she's joined by Margaret Cho to make a 70's party fav!

BRINIMAXWELL

MIMI MARKS IN THAILAND

Dennis Rodman has great taste in tuna! Mimi, that wholesome, Midwestern blonde goddess from The Baton Show Lounge, is shown here on CNN winning the World's Most Beautiful Trassexual pageant! Makes me wanna run out and bleach my teeth and hit a tanning salon. OK, OK and a weight-loss spa and a plastic surgeon!

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FOLEY OUTRAGE

As someone who enjoyed sex from an age earlier than the page ex-Senator Mark Foley resigned over, I'm not that outraged by a few horny emails to a 16 year old. What's enfuriating is the response and cover-up. On the whole, it's an easily won victory for democrats since it disgraces the republicans. Not only because of Foley's behavior, but because of Hastert's excuse for not acting on the information when he received it a year ago. Hastert's office issued this statement: Hastert "declined to contest publicly what Reynolds had said earlier, but his office did say that the Speaker could not 'explicitly recall' any such conversation between the two men." In other words, he doesn't "dispute" what he was told, but a pedophiliac representative from his own party didn't strike him as scandalous enough to act on. So maybe he just spaced the report out. Maybe he wanted to keep it quiet, but let's see, what else was happening around one year ago? There are plenty of other scandals which the republicans could have been scrambling to hush up or spin at that time. Delay, Abramoff, Plame, torture, domestic spying--take your pick. Ironically, Foley was "head" of a committe on childrens' issues. i can only imagine the issues on his mind. Like, "Why doesn't anything come out of a 10 year old's cock when they orgasm?" His tendencies were so well known that pages were warned about him by there supervisor in a page training class in 2001!

Pedophilia outrages almost everyone, particularly religious right-wingers who form the backbone of republican voters. When are these little old gray-haired ladies going to acknowledge the widespread, very un-christian corruption within their sworn political party, with whom they're alligned so closely that preachers in the last presidential election testified that a vote for John Kerry was a vote for the devil? Again and again, as someone wrote into CNN, the GOP sends the message "Do as we say, not as we do." Do you really think that ads urging Bush to help stop the murder in Darfur are going to help? You're appealing to a killer's non-existent conscience to stop killing in a country which has no oil? Puhlease! Recognize the republican beast for what it is. Will this flap over the page still "resonate"--ie pentrate and remain in their backward skulls--with conservative, bible-thumping voters in November?

In his rotten statement, Foley asked for his supporters to remember him in their prayers. Honey, they're cursing your ass, not praying for you! But in a really sick pr move, he checks into rehab for alcoholism. Whether he's a drunk or not, this somehow softens the pedophilia charges. You see, he's just a man of god who seeks our prayers and forgiveness, and it was alcoholism which led him to backslide. There's a boozer in almost every family, so THAT sickness is a little more tolerable and a little less sick than plain ol' sober pedophilia. Poor thing. Maybe once Foley's cured of alcoholism, he can pursue a career within the catholic church.

It's lucky for the dems. Unable to compete with the $90,000,00 republican advertising (of which 90% is negative) budget for the congressional race, the democrats' opponents have conveniently smeared themselves. But CNN mentioned that dems were scrambling to "get in front of" the scandal and use it to their advantage. Scrambling? Hey, take advantage of it by all means, but shouldn't democrats have a bit more of a plan than wait until a month until the election and pray for some fucking pedophilia accusations to unravel? C'mon! We don't even know that Foley had sex with any underage boy. Aren't there other more crucial issues which dems could "get in front of" and should already have been spouting off about with some of Bill Clinton's recent offensive tone long before now? An unpopular, bloody and expensive war, the screwed-up Katrina response, failing economy, health care and educational systems--take your goddam pick from those and many republican failures. Don't they all individually trump a few inappropriate emails and condemn republicans as a bunch of ineffectual crooks? Doesn't the scope of any one of them outweigh a few "overly friendly" emails? Grabbing at this sex scandal so desperately proves that we DON'T have much of a plan. I realize that TV news interviews far more right-wingers than lefties, so that whatever our plan is it isn't aired nearly as often as theirs. But whatever the reason, dems must somehow get ther plan together, get it heard and understood by voters! Otherwise, we're guilty of the lack-of-plan-coasting-on-the-republicans-failures campaign which republicans have rightly accused us of for years.

It was a shock to hear Barack Obama recently detail a comprehensive plan to coax car manufacturers towards partial use of ethanol, which would begin to remedy our "addiction to oil" which Bush himself, no stranger to addictions, diagnosed the nation with ages ago. I haven't heard many plans besides Obama's to cure us. Democrats, you've got a month. Are you gonna coast on the shock of a disgraced pedophile or inspire us with some plans as rational and necessary as Obama's? Ok, so I also happen to relish the idea of one day having a president sexy enough to masturbate to.

SHADY "LADIES"

Wal-Mart Bust A Real Drag

Three cross-dressing Kentuckians arrested in stolen check scheme

SEPTEMBER 21--On Saturday morning, Paris, Kentucky police received a call from a local Wal-Mart reporting that three black females were trying to pass stolen checks. When the trio became concerned that store employees might be contacting cops, they fled, only to be apprehended nearby. Officers discovered that the trio possessed numerous stolen checks, hot merchandise, altered drivers licenses, and penises.

READ THE REST: THESMOKINGGUN.COM

LIKE JIM MCGREEVEY

There's another "gay American..."

EX-REPRESENTATIVE MARK FOLEY

MALE RESTROOM ETIQUETTE

This is a really long video, but I'm juvenile enough to wait for subject matter which includes "butt pudding." Or is that infantile as opposed to juvenile?

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MS. DEBARGE IS AT LARGE!

I'm happy to report that Flotilla Debarge, the Empress of Large, is at last a free tran. I spoke with her at length last night and she's a bit shaken, but still able to cough out those ol' zingers. "I'm just here at home listening to Li'l Kim cds and watching Martha Stewart re-runs", she quipped of her recent stint in jail on an assault charge. A mysterious, wealthy philanthropist was sweet enough to pay her bail, and the court date is set for November. There's something fishy about those charges, but Flo's meeting up with her lawyer tomorrow to weigh her options. Unaware of her release, costume designer extraordinaire Chris March whipped up this nifty t-shirt which he'd planned to sell at drag-themed restaurant Lucky Cheng's to support the Debarge family's long-lost sister. Until, that is, Chris realized that if the sales weren't VERY closely monitored, the FREE FLO tees might wind up benefitting the Lucky Cheng's employees' FREE DRUGS fund!

PS: Since Paul Alexander of The Ones squealed when I showed him the shirt, I gave it to him. (White is not exactly slimming!) The genius part is that he's wearing tonight to APT, the club where Flo's "incident" occurred last Sunday!