KINKY BOOTS/PHAT GIRLZ

KINKY POOTS

As much as I like to clue y'all into newsworthy events in the drag/TG community, this one's a warning. DO NOT WASTE ONE THIN DIME ON KINKY BOOTS. I haven't seen any reviews but they have to be horrible. I was hired by Disney/Miramax to do press on the film's London release because the actor who plays the drag lead, Lola, didn't want to be pigeonholed as a drag queen. Darling, from this flop, there is little danger that you would be pigeon-holed as an actor! Obviously, while in their employ, I sheathed my claws and recommended the flick in interviews in England. Too bad they didn't hire me for the US release!

A classic example of Hollywood getting drag very wrong again. Several performance scenes in a drag club reveal the actor performing awful live renditions of classic songs which would be booed right off the stage in any drag club in the world. And after the feel-good eneding, the drag realizes the folly of it's ways and decides to take off the wig and be happier as a male--YET IT LEAVES ON IT'S HIGH HEELED BOOTS AS A MAN? That makes sense-for Prince! Possibly bad enough to be good if very stoned and evil friends. We were hoarse from screeching at the screen. I almost thought the projectionist at the press screening was going to report our antics to my employers in England--they were probably more accustomed to silent, eye-rolling responses.

Awful. Not worth 10 cents.

My friend Dany Johnson wrote a scathing review on her fun site: DYXPLOITATION

PHAT GIRLZ

I love Mo'Nique and just had to see her new vehicle after seeing her plug it on a talk show excitedly saying "Food has been good to me. I like to chew it...really get all the seasonings." Here, here, heifer! She's charming and funny and cute but I wouldn't say this of her new film. Definitely on a budget, the lighting was poor and even the opening credits seemed to be hanging off the bottom of the screen as if to say "Made on a MAC". Although you do root for Mo'Nique's character because the actress herself is so damned likeable, not enough of her personal zing is included, cuz she could spruce up any script with her trademark sass. It's basically a Cinderella for a fat girl script in which she get's her man after coming to terms that she's a pig. The funniest moment is unintentional: From a poolside scene the camera pans up the hairy legs of what you assume to be a man. IT'S MO'NIQUE! Bitch don't shave her legs for a fucking starring role? WE SHRIEKED WITH LAUGHTER! Girl, I know a big gut makes it a little harder to bend down and shave your legs--don't ask me HOW I know--but ain't you got no assistant? For what it's worth, a gay latino friend is portrayed in a positive light uncommon to black films and Mo'Nique's love interest is an exotic hunk of man. And although it's a fantasy, on one hand, it's great to develop a positive self-image for your bigger body in this world where anorexic waifs are crammed down your throat instead of the potato chips you crave. But this is also a world where obesity is waaaaaay up (60% of American ten year olds!). This movie sends the message "Obese is fine", so ignore any health risks associated with it. Really, even with diabetes hitting black women especially hard? Besides, black and latino women already accept their curves a bit more because black and latino men appreciate them more. It's the white women that are always worrying aout a little extra junk in the trunk. But there's a difference between curvy and obese. Me with my girdle and me without it! Oink!

Sorta cute for Mo'Nique fans only. Not worth 10 bucks.