WAR OF THE WORST!

Terrific special effects in WAR OF THE WORLDS! They've actually managed to program Tom Snooze to appear human, even straight! This movie sucks as hard as Tom wishes he could. Admittedly great effects and art direction can't mask up for the rotten script and acting. And the plot/screenplay! It doesn't allow you to connect with story in any way. It's just doomsday, doomsday, doomsday with a last minute patch-up crappy ending. And such unlikeable characters! When the cute widdle baby girl whispers, after an explosion, "Are we dead yet?", the audience of 10 shouted "I hope so!" Or what about the scene when she wants big daddy Tom to sing her a lullaby but he doesn't know her first 2 requests? I hollered out "IT'S RAINING MEN!" cuz I bet he knows every word. Can't take me anywhere.

Obviously, early market research yielded lackluster results and the studio needed some hype to sell this crap. Hence, we have the Katie/Tom relationship--surprise, surprise!--SHE has a big movie out at the same time and is in need of a makeover (yucch! there's that word again!) to shed her DAWSON'S CREEK wholesome image and switch to full-grown siren. I actually hung out with her a few years ago and she seemed really sweet. She came to Wigstock at the height of DAWSON'S popularity and HX mag crucified her for not wanting to pose for pix. So they claimed that she had scarfed down all the performer's snacks! Doubtful. But they'd be more likely to satisfy her than Tom. They may be in love, but I imagine he'd have more fantasies about another famous Holmes--JOHN!

I wouldn't waste a dime on this crapola. It certainly won't join the classic status of the book or original film, which I admit, I'm not too familiar with. Maybe the new version is great if you know them better than I.

But I do fondly remember a WAR OF THE WORLDS disco song or even whole album that was played in England in the late 70's. Disco and outer space went hand in hand and even Sarah Brightman recorded a schmaltzily fun single (her first?) called I LOST MY HEART TO A STARSHIP TROOPER. I doubt if she performs it much these days.