FORGET SUE SIMMONS F-BOMB!

DOLLY PARTON'S SHOCKING POTTY-MOUTH!

TAMMY AND PETER'S RED & WHITE BOOGIE BALL

SAN FRANCISCO 1975 PAGEANT. NO SOUND. NONE NEEDED. FASHIONS TO DIE FOR! OR IN!

PATTI: ISN'T IT A SHAME

In this 1985 clip from The Rainbow Room, Patti sings the hell out of her Labelle classic power ballad ISN'T IT A SHAME. This song has all of the power of her bombastic cover of OVER THE RAINBOW. Plus she's in her high mid-80's drag and gives you all of the Patti madness--rolling on the floor, wiping away fake tears and kicking off her pumps--that has made her a favorite target for female impersonators. Great song, incredible performance. And thanks to Miss Tobie for sending me this!

I MISS ATLANTA!

SYLVESTER SINGS CABARET!

DAVID BYRNE I'VIEWS HIMSELF

WACKY!

ONE FLEW OVER THE COUTURE'S NEST

SIMON'S LATEST COLUMN FROM THE OBSERVER:

The Grey Gardens revival and the rise of Amy Winehouse have got me thinkin' about the intimate relationship between crazy people and fashion

by Simon Doonan
May 14, 2008

********************************************
Does one's level of stylishness increase as one goes off one's trolley?

John Waters, film director and my own personal Erma Bombeck, has always philosophized that breaking the law can make people more beautiful. The more crimes a person commits, so goes the Waters hypothesis, the more beautiful that person becomes. I'm starting to wonder if there might not be a similar relationship between madness and fashion. Don't recoil in horror: We've all had the experience of spotting a disheveled homeless person staggering toward us on West Broadway only to realize, on closer inspection, that the individual in question is our old artist/gallery owner pal who is attired, as per usual, in Comme Des Garçons.

READ THE REST: OBSERVER

And don't forget Simon's brand new book!

LIKE ANY OF YOU MIGHT NEED THIS!

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

LOOKING FOR PUSSY

BY THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY! How appealing is that Shirley Jones? And I'm so glad she wore that swinging baroque ruffled shirt and jacket look. But no Susan Dey!

TRUE DEDICATION TO ONE'S CRAFT

OH, DEER! HOW BAD DID THAT HURT?

TRAIN-Y CHASER

And you thought your fantasies were weird! Check out this guy who likes trains and a has a fridge full of crabmeat!

SF DRAG LEGEND MATTHEW MARTIN AS BETTE DAVIS

A BELATED MOTHER'S DAY CARD FROM MOM

OK, so I have sappy moments!

DISCO TEA THIS PAST SUNDAY!

Sunday was crowded and fun at Splash, and I was delighted to see a bunch of trans-sisters out. Since it was Traila Trash's going away party, Bianca Leigh and several other Lips girl's showed up to perform. Apparently, Traila is moving to a town so small that it only has 2 telephones! She's been hosting Bingo on Sundays for years. I know that she has a day job in construction--seriously--so perhaps her move is tied to that. I don't see how she'll plop a construction hat over her trademark towering bouffants!

KITTY LITTER DAZZLED IN A MYLAR FRINGE AFFIAR WITH LIGHT-UP BOOBS!



THIS QUEEN I RECOGNIZED AS A BARTENDER FROM THE BLUE MOON IN REHOBOTH, DELAWARE. HER PLATINUM WIG CAME WITH A DETACHABLE PONYTAIL!



SOME TRENDY NEW GALS ABOUT TOWN



I don't know the future of DISCO TEA, but after a 2 month break, it may now continue as a monthly event. I'll keep you posted!

THERE'S A NEW MAN IN TIPPER'S LIFE!

IT'S ME, WHO LIKE HER HUSBAND AL, THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE AND OSCAR WINNER, ALSO HAILS FROM TENNESSEE. I even remember his old Tennessee election slogan, GO FOR GORE, which as a child, I assumed was GOPHER GORE. Politics have msytified me since.



Tipper is such a preppy name, so what better place to catch up with her than that bastion of preppiedom, Greenwich, Connecticutt. I dj'ed at the opening of the Mitchell Gold/Bob Williams furniture store opening last Thursday. Tipper's a shutterbug and she sells her prints at several of the MG/BE locations. She's as sweet as pecan pie as cute as a button with a doll-face like Kate Pierson's.



I did think it was a hoot to have my backside/butt pads featured in the window of Greenwich's main drag, East Putnam Avenue, behind glass with the words "Comfort has arrived" painted on it. It opened a few eyes of locals driving by or even one man who literally had on the green corduroy with red whales emdroidered on them effect out walking his pooch. The publicist had asked if I had any Lilly Pulitzer to wear, so I obliged with a Lilly-ish print gown.If you aren't familiar with Lilly, she was responsible for some of the wackiest prints ever, but always in a demure A-lie or shirt-dress conservative cut. There's always been a connection between loud colors and old money--it's kind of like the notion that we're so rich that we can pull off something this outlandish. Lilly even made acid-colored prints for men. Here are a few of her signature, summery looks. The prints are a little like Pucci, but more American and less old world, and more likely to be in cotton than Pucci's rich silk jersey.

LILLY LOOKS











I don't know if this trippy print was a Lilly, but this party gal definitely had the Greenwich look down.



Some other party people, including the gal on the right with a coat she told me was from Jay Crew! Looks more like Courreges to me! PS: Spot the very convincing sex-change in this pic! There goes the neighborhood!



This lady's look was extraordinary. Anyone recognize this frock's unusual cut? She put her bag down to pose for the pic and I wasn't sure why. I'm color-blind, but it seemed to me that the bag didn't match. However, the current fashion is very throw-on-a-yellow-shoe when-there's-nothing-else-yellow-in-your-ensemble--ie: fucked-up on purpose. Of course, it could also reflect a this-bag-is-so-pricey-that-it-goes-with-anything effect for your nerves.



I did like this gal's mod buckle detail on her jacket.



And this zippy blend of loud prints:



Preppies do like a cocktail, ad I was a little shocked at this two-fisted drinker/expectant mom. (KIDDING: She worked with the catering company.)



Of course, the kids always steal the show. Look at this precious, rosy-cheeked angel! This could be MG/BW's new ad campaign!





And these two youngsters are the kids of the publicist, Eloise Goldman, who is Mitchell Gold's sister. Can you believe how sweet this mugs are? Check out her demure left foot position and and that handsome young man modelling with his hand in his pocket (a la a Jay Crew catalogue model) and leaning his head into Auntie Bunny's crotch. Ahem! He was a natural-born entertainer who eagerly grabbed the mic from my hand during the raffle. Of course, with a little white wine freeing my tongue, I commented that the brats were sooo cue that I was tempted to do my Michael Jackson impersonation. You can take the girl out of Chattanooga......

GLAD TO BE MAD

VIA HUFFPO:



MENTALLY ILL START "MAD PRIDE" MOVEMENT

Yesterday the New York Times explored the burgeoning "mad pride" movement, which aims to fight the stigma of serious mental illness like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and even, in some cases, celebrate it.

MORE: HUFFPO

BABA WAWA THE SLUT

World of Wonder has unearthed a private phone message to the senator she had an affair with in '72. Click here to listen.

WOMAN COOKING CRABS FOR THE 1ST TIME

CHER IN VEGAS!

Billy Beyond has posted several pix taken from Cher's sell-out mash Vegas revue. NUDE CHARACTER SHOE WITH WHITE BUGLE BEADS=HOT! Here's one shot:



Click here for more looks: BILLYBEYOND.BLOG-CITY-COM

HITLER PUSSY

HEIL KITLER!



A sit dedicated to cats who resemble Hitler!


AND WATCH THE REAL HITLER SING THE THEME FROM THE JEFFERSONS!

GET THIS ONTO LOGO AND BET YESTERDAY!

"Shake ya poak chops, work ya ham-hocks!" I think gay hip-hop has finally arrived! This sissy is hip-hop's Jermaine Stewart. And the song is better than a lot of what I hear on BET. At least it's a little more uptempo than those dirge-like Mims-style "jams".

MITZI: "SO HAPPY, HAPPY TO BE HERE!"

Mitzi Gaynor, the princess of perkiness, is interviewed in Cannes, presumably for her appearance in the film SOUTH PACIFIC. Of course, it certainly adds considerable interest to the interview that she whirls around picturesque staircases FOR SEVERAL MINUTES before perching for her interview. I feel that twirling up and down staircases should henceforth be mandatory for all interviews!



A few decades later, here's Shirley Jones, Mitzi, and Rita Moreno being interviewed about their movie musical careeers.

THIS WILL SELL OUT!

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ONION

The Onion brings tears to my eyes with their "news" coverage.

Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now



THEONION


Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States



WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented breach of national security, Pope Benedict XVI, leader of the international organization known as "the Roman Catholic Church," has infiltrated the highest levels of the U.S. government and devised a wide-ranging plan to destroy the entire country.

MORE: THEONION

SNL'S HILARY SPOOF

Funny how merely the truth gets the biggest laughs.

A PEEK INTO BEIJING'S CLOSET

ABCNEWS.GO.COM

DON'T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD

SOME INTERESTING TRIVIA FROM WIKIPEDIA:

Mr. "Misunderstood"

Leroy Gómes was born in Wareham, Massachusetts of Cape Verdean descent. Learning how to sing and play the saxophone, Gómes started his own band at 14, and later joined Tavares, a local group of brothers who shared his Cape Verdean heritage, and with whom he would go on to tour North America and Europe. In Paris, Elton John invited him to play sax on his classic album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. [1] Amidst this success, Gómes decided to leave Tavares and remain in Europe, getting work as a session player in Paris. There he met Nicolas Skorsky and Jean Manuel de Scarano, songwriters who had launched their own label with the aim of producing artists who would record their compositions. Santa Esmeralda was born of their collaboration, and the album Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, with Gómes on lead vocals, debuted on the independent French label, Fauves Puma. A sudden huge success in Europe, the record was picked up for worldwide distribution by Casablanca Records of Los Angeles, the preeminent label of the Disco era.[2]
Essentially a studio act, Gómes was eager to perform, and a touring group was put together, including a troupe of dancers, one of whom, by the name of Tequila, would appear on several album and single cover photos and ultimately become his wife.

AND WHAT A GREAT PERFORMER!

RICK DEES: DISCO DUCK

A moment in disco history so cheesy that it should come with quackers--I mean crackers! Get it? Feel free to use that one. As rotted as this mess is, that horn section is awfully snazzy.

EATING YOUR VEGGIES NEVER SEEMED SO APPETIZING!

CHECK OUT THE OTHER IMAGES HERE ON GEOCITIES.

CHRIST, PEACHES! THAT'S BRILLIANT

THE VERY PATRIOTIC AND THOUGHTFUL SAN FRANCISCO ENTERTAINER PEACHES CHRIST



AN EMAIL FORWARD:

Bay area drag persona Peaches Christ was on my fave podcast again yesterday and noted at the end that she's involved with a ballot initiative to try and get the local sewage plant renamed after George W. Bush in honor of his legacy. Unfortunately you have to live in San Francisco to participate in this movement and sign the petition but I thought it was definitely noteworthy and would encourage others to take similar measures in their own towns.

SIGN PETITION

An Enduring Legacy



As we near the end of George W Bush’s presidency, we think it is important to select a fitting monument to this president’s work. On matters ranging from foreign relations to fiscal and environmental stewardship, no other president in American history has accomplished so much in such a short time.

To honor George W Bush for his eight years of honorable public service, the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is sponsoring a ballot initiative this November.

It reads…

Should The City And County of San Francisco Rename The Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W Bush Sewage Plant?

We believe this is an appropriate honor for a truly unique president. If you think so too, join this grassroots movement to rename this important and iconic landmark in his honor.

CUTE TIDBITS FROM POPBITCH.COM

How to keep up with pensioner sex-talk

The retired wrinkly set in Florida, armed with
prescription drugs, time and freedom, are
enjoying shagging well into their twilight
years. The men have a new term for it:

"I'm gettin' me some Prune-tang tonight".


Readers - please don't call Dublin Zoo

Dublin Zoo's phone system has gone into meltdown.
Some wag has been sending multiple texts asking
people to call their phone number and “ask for
Mr G Raffe or Mr C Lyon or Anna Conda”.

Marketing Manager Veronica Crisp said, "It might
be kind of funny the first few times but we
have lost our sense of humour with the calls
coming in at the rate of 13 a minute.”




AND CHECK OUT THESE VILE-SOUNDING MEAT DRINKS!

DENIECE WILLIAMS LIVE!

FREE:



IT'S GONNA TAKE A MIRACLE:

PHILLIP BAILEY: I KNOW

Remember this minor hit from Earth, Wind and Fire's sweet-voiced superstar vocalist?

IN ENGLAND?

MEET PANTI!

NEW JOHN KELLY SHOW

Two-time Obie Award winning performance artist JOHN KELLY will workshop new material for his latest solo piece DARGELOS beginning May 4. This rare opportunity to see Kelly in an intimate setting will take place for 3 consecutive Sundays at Bar 13.

Best known for his portrayals of historic and mythic characters including Joni Mitchell, Egon Schiele, Orpheus, and transvestite trapeze artist Barbette, JOHN KELLY introduces his latest creation: DARGELOS. This unique informal workshop presentation will feature and array of songs, stories and poetry. Kelly fans will be thrilled to learn that DARGELOS is the brother of chanteuse Dagmar, an East Village icon who made a splash in the 1980s performance scene -- including a legendary concert series at Carnegie Hall.

MORE INFO/TIX: SPINCYCLE

WARNING!

THIS EVEN CURBED MY RAVENOUS APPETITE FOR EATING COCK--FOR ABOUT 5 SECONDS, ANYWAY!



The Guolizhuang menu is a broad introduction to the medicinal benefits of eating animal penises and testicles.



"Henry's whip" is the house speciality at Beijing's Guolizhuang restaurant. It's a sheep's penis on a stick covered in mayonnaise, sweet cheese, served on a bed of lettuce.



The yak penis is served with a dragon. In the Guolizhuang restaurant there are more than 30 different animal penises on the menu. And for very special guests there's a list of others.



Ox penises help manliness. They're cut along the side and shaped into little stars.



Donkey penis served on a bed of lettuce: For Chinese guests, eating the sexual organs is not a test of courage, but rather a treatment for the libido.

HUNGRY YET?

FISH OUT OF WATER

Joey Arias's wacky scene in the film MONDO NEW YORK.

A COCKROACH IN MY ASS

Youtube continues to unearth the comedy giants of tomorrow:

THIS IS WHY I'M FAT

OK, so this isn't a comedic masterpiece, but if you know Mims' horrible hit THIS IS WHY I'M HOT, you may appreciate this parody.

FELLOW PROCRASTINATORS TAKE NOTE!

My lazy Leo lioness self found Gretchen Wilson's 6 TIPS FOR GETTING YOURSELF TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO very helpful. Here's a teaser:

How many times each day do you try to work yourself up to tackle some undesirable task? If you're like me - several.

For example, right now I'm trying to figure out how to send a monthly newsletter. I felt overwhelmed by the various sub-tasks involved, but by using the techniques below, I'm inching toward the finish line of hitting "send" for that first newsletter. Here are some strategies that I've used:

1. Put yourself in jail. If you're working on something that's going to take a long time, and you have the urge to try to rush, or to feel impatient, pretend you're in jail. If you're in jail, you have all the time in the world. You have no reason to hurry, no reason to cut corners or to try to do too many things at once. You can slow down, concentrate. You can take the time to get every single detail right.

MORE FROM HUFFPO

Now I'm off to the gym bright and early! My gym has such good food that I'll sometmes just skip the workout!

GRAVEL TRIES TO WIN OVER "OBAMA GIRL"

SWEETIE PRESENTS:

TABBOO! AND "Human Sperm Bank" Wendy Ho, who sings that hilarious BITCH, I STOLE YOUR PURSE, below invite.



BITCH, I STOLE YOUR PURSE. That first note is a killer!

ONE NIGHT ONLY: DISCO TEA AT SPLASH ON 4/11

Join Christina Visca and I for a night of disco classics from Donna SUmmer to Chaka Khan to Dan Hartman as we return to Splash for one night--THIS SUNDAY! And check out the $0 cover charge and disco-era priced $1 draft beer! So come on out and get as twisted a I look in this photo.

METHINX THE LAYDI DUTH PROTESS TOU MUNCH

This reminds me of a sign I saw outside of Greensboro, NC, which read "VOTE NAZI, VOTE CLITON (sic).

PASSOVER DINNER

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Passover dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice , she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.

The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.

This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'

Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!'


(My favorite part of this joke is that Passover is mentioned once in the first line and then no mention of jewish anything thereafter. To trick ya! Tragic Magic!)

NEW SCAM ALERT

SCAM ALERT!

Watch out for this scam. Police say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones.


While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent, divert their 'mark' (or intended target) with a show of

friendliness, the fourth -- the eldest -- sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle through his or her pockets

and purses or bags for any valuables being carried.


The attached picture shows the gang in operation.

XXY

DO NOT SEE THIS FILM! I hadn't seen a movie since Sweeney Todd, and thought this story of a teenage hermaphrodite was worth a try. With the genius Turner Classic Movie channel playing commercial-free classics 24/7, why pay $10 to see some new, unproven crap? I guess this bomb won some awards at Cannes, but I was tearing my hair out at the angst-ridden, unlikeable characters and had to split after 40 minutes. Truly awful.

I CHALLENGE DAVID BLAINE!

To his longest endurance test yet. DISAPPEAR FROM THE PUBLIC EYE FOREVER! I'd actually like to suck him but these dull-ass tricks have got to stop. Here's a spoo of "David" performing street magic.

BETTY PAGE BUBBLE BATH

Go to youtube and search Something Weird--they have tons of great clips like this one:

SATAN IN HIGH HEELS

FROM YOUTUBE VIA LYPSINKA:

As this tough, terrific, and well-made exploitation gem once again proves, there's nothing as sexy as a really wicked woman. Shrewd, conniving slut goddess Stacey Kane (MEG MYLES) is a second-rate stripper in a third-rate carnival. Startled when she finds her junkie ex-husband lurking in her dressing room, Stacey promptly steals every cent he has and hops on a plane for New York. Possessing a surprisingly strong singing voice, Miss Kane auditions for a job at a nightclub run by a terse, wide-eyed lesbian named Pepe (Dark Shadows' GRAYSON HALL) who is soon trying to turn the tramp into a lady -- at least for the paying customers. Things get quickly complicated, however, when Stacey shacks up with of the club's owner, Arnold Kenyon (MIKE KEENE), while having an affair with his son (ROBERT YURO). But when her junkie ex-hubby once again pops up in her dressing room -- this time with a knife -- Stacey beats the crap out of him and sends him off to kill Arnold... Great, gritty exploitation which packed a hell of a wallop in the more innocent days of 1962. - Something Weird



And if you enjoyed that, check out the other SOMETHING WEIRD videos, like SINDERELLA AND THE GOLDEN BRA, below.

HIDEOUS NEWS

VIA HUFFPO:

Post-War Suicides May Exceed Combat Deaths, U.S. Says By Avram Goldstein

May 5 (Bloomberg) -- The number of suicides among veterans of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan may exceed the combat death toll because of inadequate mental health care, the U.S. government's top psychiatric researcher said.

Community mental health centers, hobbled by financial limits, haven't provided enough scientifically sound care, especially in rural areas, said Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Maryland. He briefed reporters today at the American Psychiatric Association's annual meeting in Washington.

Insel echoed a Rand Corporation study published last month that found about 20 percent of returning U.S. soldiers have post- traumatic stress disorder or depression, and only half of them receive treatment. About 1.6 million U.S. troops have fought in the two wars since October 2001, the report said. About 4,560 soldiers had died in the conflicts as of today, the Defense Department reported on its Web site.

BLOOMBERG

EARTHA: WHERE IS MY MAN

Funnyman Bruce Vilanch wrote the lyrics to this drag lip-synch classic!

STILL SPINNING AT 60

The fairy godmother of Studio 54 an